The right balance of talking about their own self and the other person. I hate people who just like to tell you ALL about themselves thinknig they’re doing you a favour by letting you know how amazing they are. And unfortunately I’ve met too many people like that. You should be interested in the other person as well.
Enthusiasm. If you can get on a topic you can both enjoy early on, it leaves a MUCH stronger impression on me. It’s as though you were just one of many puzzles pieces out there that simply fit together.
The problem I seem to find is having a decent topic to discuss with “the person you don’t know”. I refuse to talk about religion and politics, so that leave weather and sports, both of which I could give two shits about. @Prosb is on the right path though. Enthusiasm! Get me talking about my music and I probably won’t shut up unless you have stories to share as well. I’m usually just fly’n by the seat of my pants. Hell, it’s gotten me this far….
That they smile, seem happy to meet me, and want to talk to me. There needs to be a good balance of give and take during the conversation. I don’t want to have the enitre burden of asking all the question and coming up with things to talk about. There should be a natural flow. Sense of humor is an added plus, and always extremely enjoyable. But, the person does not have to be funny to engage me, they need to be interesting and interested.
Being intelligent doesn’t work all the time. If you watched the tv series called “Bones” you’d understand. She’s smart and intelligent at the same times but she’s saying a lot of awkward things.
Sarcasm at a first encounter doesn’t seem to be a good communication skill for me. If someone uses sarcasm more than 5 times when I first meet them I won’t bother see / meet them again just because I wouldn’t know when they are and when they are not sarcastic.
i preffer people who speak their mind just from the start. This way I know how the relationship will continue or when it will end up. Being direct is the best thing they can do even if they ask questions out of the ordinary like “Who’s more sexy: you or me?” or “Are you that stupid that you can’t make the difference between X and Y?”
I get more satisfaction talking to these sort of people than just be impressed by good jokes.
I know I will talk to everyone but not the same quantity or I won’t talk about too much with some categories.
I enjoy talking as much as I do listening, so when I first meet someone, I am a little closed-off until I see weather they are a talker or not. Once I figure that out, I know where to step.
Personally, I like having an intellectual conversation with some one, but also having a good sense of humor. I like to crack jokes in almost any conversation I have with someone because that’s who I am. I am not a serious person all the time, and refuse to be. I enjoy when I can hold a great conversation with someone, where we are both learning cool stuff from each other.
The one thing that I cannot stand though, is when someone asks me for my opinion and then gets mad at me because it’s not one they like. Sorry folks, but you asked and you shall recieve. I speak my mind and am real right off the bat, so I expect the same. I don’t like beating around the bush.
So the communication skills I enjoy are intellegence, humor, bluntess, and open-mindedness.
Good sense of humour. I can’t judge people very harshly on their communication skills as I seemingly lack many of them, but I can always appreciate someone who is funny. They can be as awkward as it is possible to be, but if they make me laugh, that’s already half of what I require in a good conversation.
I am with linguaphile Authenticity. You can see it in someone’s eyes and hear it in their words. They are not trying to impress, they are just being themselves. The humor comes naturally and not because they are aiming to be entertaining. The interest in what you are saying is not feigned but is real and you can sense that. Shyness can be a barrier but a shy person will much more readily open up if they feel the right vibes. Shyness annoys a lot of people who are extroverts which is a shame because oftentimes the saying is true, “still waters run deep” and there is much that a shy person has to offer if only they could feel safe enough to open up and communicate.