Social Question

PinkBee333's avatar

Why would he ignore me?

Asked by PinkBee333 (78 points ) August 3rd, 2011

I though we had something, but we haven’t talked in weeks.
Then finally he texts me first asking how I was, (I get excited because it was like a sign… that he might maybe still like me) I replied back, and joked around that he missed me, and asked how he was, and he never replied back.

Why would a guy do that, contact you first after so long, text you first and then after you reply he just didn’t reply?
I don’t know what to think.

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33 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

He is either mad at you or being a sissy baby about something!

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

How old are you?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Who knows?
I wouldn’t even bother trying to figure that one out. There are far more people out there with better manners.

PinkBee333's avatar

In are 20’s, should I just take it as a hint that he doesn’t really like me and just cut off contact? for him to text me after so many days, I took it as he missed me…
should I try starting a conversation again? ... I was so hurt that he wouldn’t reply back and just left me hanging after he was the one to text me

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Alright, I asked your age to answer part of the question – he may have decided to drop back in, in hopes of finding a booty call.
Regardless, there are way more mature and tactful ways to react if you’re not that into someone. Just dropping off the face of the earth is lame, and you shouldn’t even waste your time. Walk away, far away, from this one. Don’t take any excuses, either.

john65pennington's avatar

Some guys like to play hard to get. Some women do the same. It may be just a silly cat and mouse game. Let him make the next move and see what happens.

PinkBee333's avatar

But why wouldn’t he reply if he was the one to initiate the conversation?
do you think he is mad at me, because he think i don’t like him? but then as a guy wouldn’t it just have made more sense to not text me in the first place?

Thanks for all the advice
I think ill just wait for him to make up his mind and make a move

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

My honest guess? It’s really possible that he texted you, and a handful of other people around the same time, and then picked the most interesting replies. A guy that you’re seeing, who suddenly vanishes, then reappears without an explanation or an apology is a bit of a loser. Period.
I really think you’re better off moving on. It’s really about common courtesy, not even dating. That’s just rude.

thorninmud's avatar

As a practicing male myself, let me just suggest that this guy is probably feeling all proud and downright communicative for having sent that text at all. I bet he’d be absolutely astonished if he knew all the intrigue that’s being read into it.

PinkBee333's avatar

I can’t figure out if its a “player game” in that he just did it to see if i was interested/would still reply, or if he texted me because he missed me

@throninmud do you think I should text him back, or wait for him, to text me back?
and do you mean proud – like he feels like he has a big ego now that he didn’t reply back to me , OR that he feels proud that he texted first?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I would bet that texting him back is just going to lead to a lot of questions like this in your future.

thorninmud's avatar

@PinkBee333 “proud” as in “self-congratulatory”. It’s a rare and wondrous thing when it just occurs to a guy to up and communicate (or so I’m told). He probably felt like he’d been touched by an angel for even having the idea.

As for what you should do now, I’d love to help, but I’m not the best source of advice in these matters (or so I’m told).

chyna's avatar

He was just touching base with you. He probably isn’t interested so don’t waste any more time on him.

tranquilsea's avatar

A guy who wants to be with you will be with you and won’t leave you wondering. The ones that do leave you wondering are the ones you should walk away from. They just take up the time that would be better spent doing things and seeing people that make you feel happy.

rebbel's avatar

That never replied back, what period of time we are talking?
Hours?
Days?

PinkBee333's avatar

since last night, but it was more of him starting a convo by saying hi, me responding (with a question) and then him ignoring the text… a part of me thinks he just did it to hurt me , and that he intended to not reply all along just to hurt me… am I over reacting or does that sound possible?

rebbel's avatar

@PinkBee333 Could be possible, of course, but it could also be possible that he forgot/went to sleep (and subsequently forgot after he woke up)/he procrastinates/his battery is empty or his amount of monthly texts has finished.
Or he is an ass.

PinkBee333's avatar

….. hes an ass…. I responded quick (he should still be awake) , battery should be charged right now (it wasn’t a time specific answer) ... unlimited texting….

I guess I kinda know deep down he did it on purpose… as an ego boost maybe

If I was delete him off of Facebook, wouldn’t this seem petty? is that going to far? or would he get the message? does that not warrant a facebook delete? Im scared hes going to delete me first…. and then ill just be more hurt

sinscriven's avatar

I think you are thinking way too hard about this and complicating it with questions trying to “figure him out”. It’s not worth it. He drops out of the face of the earth, and then after weeks makes a half-assed attempt to contact you. He’s either incredibly busy with zero time for you, or he is just not that interested in you. What he was most likely doing is checking the waters to see if you were still receptive in case he wanted to hit you up later. You replied positively, so you gave him the answer he needed.

You’re old enough to know you have better options and need someone who isn’t a total flake. Cut him off. Delete him from facebook. You don’t really have any reason to keep in touch with him, there pretty much is no connection here so why waste your energy on it. Being FB friends allows him to keep tabs on you, which you shouldn’t want.

Stop being passive and whimpy and acting like you’re not in control. Take control, and kick his ass out the door. You deserve better than what (nothing) he’s offering.

PinkBee333's avatar

But I still like him, and I know a part of him still likes me
he got the impression i liked someone else. Im scared to cut him out, because I still like him, I agree him not reply was stupid of him. Im just scared to cut him out because
he hurt me ..and I want him to know that, but im scared to cut him completely out of my life for good. A part of me wonders , what if he’s just acting this way because he thinks i don’t like him and that I just want to be “friends”. I was surprised he didn’t delete my number after all that time.

we never dated or anything, we were just “friends”, we worked together and after I left work, we didn’t talk until now

I wish I wasn’t a whimp and I could just delete him and move on

SpatzieLover's avatar

First of all, I wouldn’t respond to a text. That’s me, though. I personally believe I deserve a phone call.

Since he did text, weeks later, then you replied right away, and he didn’t reply back…I’m inclined to think game player.

In the future, if you’ve been out with someone and he hasn’t called back, you’ll need to decide if he’s seriously worth a second thought.

Hibernate's avatar

Maybe he got upset when you joked about him missing you.

rebbel's avatar

and I know a part of him still likes me
That’s not enough.
Either someone likes you whole, or not.
A part (¼, 1/16?) simply doesn’t work.
Forget him, delete him (from Facelift k, etc.) and do not respond any longer to any future messages from him.
Hard to do, but (self)worth it.
In a few weeks, maybe months, you will have forgotten even the smallest part that you liked about him.
Focus for now on other things and people and you’ll come out stronger and more self confident, confident enough to keep those a..holes at bay.

sinscriven's avatar

If he liked you, and cared enough about you like the way you’re wishing he was. He wouldn’t be acting like this. He would be making the effort to see you more, shift plans for you, or even if he was really busy, at least a call at night to let you know he was thinking about you. I agree with @SpatzieLover. Waiting weeks and then simply texting you? That’s a bit insulting and insincere. You’re worth a phone call, you’re worth some time of active attention. For all you know he’s blasting off texts to multiple girls at once, and/or sitting on the can in the bathroom playing angry birds at the same time.

Even if there was a miscommunication about your availability, a good guy and friend wouldn’t immediately ditch out because you may be into someone else. That’s something someone would do when they realized you wouldn’t be easy prey; cutting losses. Even if he misunderstood you gave him the second chance by acting interested in reply to his recent text. He didn’t bite. I think you overestimate what he feels about you.

There’s really no purpose in letting him know that he “hurt you”. What good would that do you? It won’t really make you feel better, won’t make you feel less duped either. And certainly won’t help win him over either. Trying to theorize his motives is pointless, you can’t control his actions or anyone else’s besides your own. Even if on the offchance he really was interseted, but was extremely passive, and highly insecure about the whole thing, you should still avoid him. That’s bringing guaranteed baggage and drama in your life that you don’t need/want.

Through the course of your life you with find lots of people you’ll like. You don’t have to, nor should you seek a relationship with all of them. The person that wants to be in your life will make damn sure that you know it.

PinkBee333's avatar

Thank you so much
I guess I’ve just never really known what a good relationship without games is like yet

@sinscriven Thank You… what you said really hit home :)

josie's avatar

It is possible that he is just not that into you.

zenvelo's avatar

Did he address you by name? I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he meant to send it to someone else.

PinkBee333's avatar

no my name wasn’t in it, just hey, how are you doing?

PinkBee333's avatar

Deleted , maybe now i can move on :)

PinkBee333's avatar

THANK YOU to Every single person above, I may not know any of you, but you all helped me understand. I just wanted to say thanks!
Sometimes you really just need to hear what you already know but choose to ignore

snowberry's avatar

That, or he lost his phone. The point is, you don’t know anything except that he never contacted you again.

Kardamom's avatar

It sounds like this fellow was “trying you out” to see if you could be his back up girl, or his booty call just in case his first choice wasn’t available. I’m sorry : (

But I still like him, and I know a part of him still likes me. Actually you have no idea if he likes you or has any real feelings for you at all.

People (in this case, this particular guy) sometimes have a bunch of irons in the fire at the same time and are always looking for something better to come along. When someone better either doesn’t come along, or isn’t currently available, people like this fellow, will often go back to someone that they were previously involved with, just to get some kind of action (rather than getting no action).

Unless you have talked with this fellow, extensively, and he’s made it perfectly clear that he is interested in dating you, one on one, in a public manner (meaning that everyone knows that you are a real couple) chalk this up to a dude who’s most likely using you. They never tell you that they’re using you. You either figure it out on your own, or someone else (which is really embarrassing) lets you know.

I’m so sorry. I’ve been there and it sucks : (

spittingamethyst's avatar

Ugh sounds like my ex. What ended up happening was that one night he blew up and said he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend and that he doesn’t even want to be friends. It’s tough. I wouldn’t bother with him too much anymore. And if you still want to talk to him I’d take all his actions with a grain of salt.

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