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cliofaye's avatar

One of my close friends committed suicide today and I have no idea what to do?

Asked by cliofaye (405 points ) August 6th, 2011

For awhile I was just so numb that all I could do was stare into space and listen to music. I tried to be positive but I just can’t right now. Now I can’t stop crying,what do I do?

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24 Answers

Bellatrix's avatar

You don’t do anything. You are grieving. You are hurting right now. Can you connect in with some of your mutual friends? Spend some time with other people? Talking to your parents might help too. What you are feeling is normal though. You are in pain. I do think it is important not to bottle up your feelings though. I am sorry for your loss. It is very sad to hear of the death of a young person.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Go ahead and cry, first of all. Losing a loved one is difficult, and it’s natural to feel sad. You have to let yourself grieve. Connect with mutual friends and loved ones, find support. Losing someone to suicide is a unique tragedy, and I think it’s helpful to talk about the frustration and confusion that may come with your grief.

cliofaye's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf and @Bellatrix I don’t have parents and I don’t have anyone I can talk to, it’s always like this when something bad happens everyone abandons me so here I am alone with just my cat,Minny.

Bellatrix's avatar

Than you can talk with us. You have found a really strong and caring community. You just post here and talk to us. I can promise, there will always be someone here to listen and answer.

Let yourself cry as @ANef_is_Enuf said. You lost a friend. That hurts. I am so sorry you are on your own. Snuggle up with Minny, get a cup of tea or something and talk here and if you feel like crying, cry. It will get easier. If you were very close, it will take time though. Your friend will be in your mind a lot and you will go through a whole range of different feelings as you come to terms with their passing. If you feel you need to speak to someone personally, on the phone and hear a voice, you can always ring someone like LifeLine. There will be an organisation where you are that you can ring just to talk to someone. Don’t feel any shame in doing that. That’s what they are there for. To help us when we are in trouble and need someone to listen to us.

cliofaye's avatar

@Bellatrix thank you very much,tomorrow I will probably get back on here but for now I think the best thing for me is rest. Crying has exhausted me and I’m going to need my strength to stay positive,but for now thank you guys<3

_zen_'s avatar

{{{{HUGS}}}}

Bellatrix's avatar

That sounds like a good plan @cliofaye. Sleep is a great healer. People are always here if you need to talk to someone.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I second what @zen said: {{{HUG}}}

augustlan's avatar

I’m so sorry for your loss. We’re here for you. {hugs}

tom_g's avatar

I am truly sorry for your loss, even though this sounds like a cliche. Crying is ok. Find something/someplace that grounds you and take some time to grieve. The pain you are feeling right now is proof that we all have the ability to make genuine connections and a huge difference in someone’s life. Take your time. It will get better.

Jellie's avatar

I’m sorry for your loss. I know how you feel actually.

My advice is don’t escape from the pain or try to bury it. I have realized that we as humans have tried to find ways of coping or escaping from the difficult times in our lives be it heart break, sadness, disappointment or what ever. But it is much healthier for you to allow yourself to feel the pain and come to terms with it. Don’t play any blame games or anything. Just let yourself cry and think about your friend and feel that whatever emotions surface. Our minds and souls are stronger than we think and I know you can endure this.

hug

Cruiser's avatar

Can you think of a way you can create either a personal or public memorial for your friend. When a friend committed suicide we created a stone and log totem out in her favorite outdoors hiking spot that 30 years later is still there. That effort allowed us all involved in the effort to talk about our feelings and the what if’s which are the toughest of all the emotions you will be experiencing! I hope you find peace and sorry for your loss.

chyna's avatar

{{hugs}}

SpatzieLover's avatar

My condolences to you @cliofaye.

Is this the same friend you asked about? Please allow yourself time to heal and rest.

I wish I could send you an actual {{{{{{Hug}}}}}} through Fluther.

wilma's avatar

I’m so sorry.

MilkyWay's avatar

I truly am sorry @cliofaye, and remember, we’re here for you. If you need someone to talk to, just messege me.
(( Hugs ))

Hibernate's avatar

If I were you I’d spend more time with the family. [your friends family that is] Remember that it was a friend for you but he has a grieving family too. And remember there’s a time for anything [crying too].

God bless you and may He bless the grieving family too.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I’m sorry for your sense of loss and pain. Gather with mutual friends of the person who died and celebrate his life and comfort each other. None of you are to blame for a decision that they made.

Meego's avatar

@cliofaye I’m sorry you have to feel this. I lost my husband not long ago. I know how loss feels. Nothing can make it feel better. If you have nobody, and you cannot deal with it on your own Fluther is great but please I suggest you get recommended to a group in your area for helping with loss because even if your family were there, they were not friends with your friend and they won’t understand.

Spending time with your friends family is a good suggestion, but sometimes ppl grieve in different ways my mother in law took it out on me and only broke the relationship.
That’s why I think if you can’t do it on your own with kitty please go to your doc and ask to be recommended for grief counseling.

If you have anything don’t hesitate to have a chat with me or anyone out here.

Good luck hun.

tranquilsea's avatar

Other here have already touched on the things you can do to walk through this. Mourning can be complicated and unexpected. Allow yourself to feel enormous amounts of sadness at first. Know that eventually it won’t hurt so much.

@Cruiser suggested a memorial of some kind. I think that is a great idea.

I’m so sorry you don’t have the support around you that you need right now.

You are in my thoughts.

{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

anartist's avatar

Grieve. Help his/her family.

cliofaye's avatar

I just wanted to thank everyone,I’m going to get through this eventually,it just takes time..

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