Would you continue dating a person who is ten years younger, and who tells you, during your first date, that he/she already had a crush on you when you were twenty years old and he/she only ten? [more details inside]?
Asked by
rebbel (
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August 9th, 2011
You are now thirty five, he/she is twenty five now.
You met this person recently, you didn’t recognize her/him, and you did not remember that both of you were attending a few birthday and wedding parties some fifteen years ago.
Would this knowledge (the teenage crush) bother you right now?
Or do you like this person for who they are now, not who they were then?
Would there be a second date for you?
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30 Answers
It wouldn’t bother me. I might worry that I’ve been idealized in the person’s mind over the years and that might cause some problems, but no, it wouldn’t bother me, really.
A crush is a crush no matter.
While is may sound a bit odd, it wouldn’t bother me. Sounds like they are just trying to reinforce a history.
I hope that by the time I am 35 I have moved past 25 year olds.
If not, though, I guess that’s ok. It would have been creepy for the 25 year old to have a crush on the 15 year old; not so much the other way around.
No, sounds romantic… possibly. It would depend on other signs of emotional/mental health.
Oh, and there would definitely be a second date, even if the person seemed fairly nuts, for the purpose of being caring towards them and at least sending them in the right direction for healing if that is needed. I would want to know more about these old feelings and what was going on her thoughts and feelings, and to share my own experiences of having crushes on people, and not to mess with this person or turn their positive feelings into resentment.
Sounds like my brother’s story. I think they’ve been married over twenty years now.
Probably but that’s a long time be to crushing on someone. There’s no telling what kinds of expectations and assumptions/ fantasies that have been building up from the beginning.
It wouldn’t bother me much because a few dates and the person’s idea of who I was would be replaced by who I am.
Isn’t that sort of the Tom Cruise Katie Holmes story?
Yes, I think it is fine to date that person if the younger is at least 25 now.
A year and a half ago I was pursued (and allowed myself to be temporarily ‘captured’) by a woman 19 years my junior. While we were having fun with “the age thing” it occurred to me (and we discussed) that I had already been married and divorced once… by the time she was in kindergarten. It might sound weird to others, but at the time we were discussing it there was nothing strange about it. (If I had actually known her when she was in kindergarten, then that might have been a different story.)
It all depends how these persons are fitted for one another. I wouldn’t mind but someone has something different to say here.
It really wouldn’t bother me unless I got the impression that she’d been crushed out on me since the age of ten rather than at the age of ten, and thinking of me the whole time. That might be kind of creepy.
If I liked her now, it wouldn’t matter what the situation was 15 years ago. As a matter of fact, I’d be even a little flattered knowing that this girl had a crush on me 15 years ago. As long as I like her and she likes me, I don’t see how this is a problem at all.
Nope I would be flattered at the fact they had a crush, but in reality I don’t really date people whom are much younger than myself in the first place so I doubt it would ever happen
No, the crush would be rather cute. However, I don’t think cougar-hood would suit me as well as it suits my mother.
If this person was cute and I liked them then nope it wouldn’t bother me, especially not if I knew they had a crush on me, I’d probably like them more!
You mean like “Damn! Should have made my move then!”?
I don’t think it would bother me, but it might make me second guess her true feelings.
I think it’s sweet, actually.
On the fence. Would think it was an affectionate gesture. But would not attach serious relationship potential.
Start of a great friendship is what it sure looks like.
My wife is 15 years my junior. That means that when I was 30, she was just 15. We have a wonderful marriage and the age difference bothers neither of us in the slightest. : )
@CaptainHarley…I have to agree with the Captain on this one. Age shouldn’t make a difference…not in matters of love. Of course if he/she asks, “Who are the Beatles?” then, that’s a different problem. :)
LMAO! No, she knows LOTS of things! : D
@DarlingRhadamanthus true story is I met someone who referred to Sir Paul McCartney as that guy that was in Wings. doh!
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