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How can you tell if a woman is just trying to use you or take advantage of you?

Asked by poisonedantidote (21675points) August 11th, 2011

When I was in my teens I had a few girls and a few girlfriends, as I got older, I had a couple of flings and a couple of semi-serious relationships. Then I got fat and stopped going out, and started spending a lot of time on computers, and for a few years, it was just me and the hand, just like back in the old days.

Recently I have been getting a lot of female attention, I get all kinds of comments on more or less a daily basis, from offers to go out and get a bit to eat all the way up to being bluntly offered sex. “Would you go out with me for dinner tomorrow?” and “How about going up to my room for a quikie” and so on.

This year I started a new job. I get paid so much now, that it would take 8 of my friends a full month to earn just one of my monthly wages, and that is before we even get in to tips, bonuses, commisions, and overtime. Also, I have recently lost a lot of weight, got a bunch of new clothes and a new hair do, and have even started using tooth-whitener like some kind of shallow tv personality.

Where were all these women a year ago when I was fat and broke? I can accept I’m more physically attractive now that I have lost weight and am starting to get some muscle deffinition going on, but the cash thing really worries me.

I’m not rich, I could perhaps become rich if I keep this up, but for now I’m just very very comfortable. While I don’t flash the cash, my new clothes and accessories make it obvious I’m not broke.

How can I be sure women are not just trying to get at my money?

Maybe I have low self esteem (I doubt it, but maybe)… I can accept that I look better now, but I can’t accept that I look so good that women can’t help but throw them selves at me. Surely they must be after my cash?

Do these people like me for who I am or what I have?

Working on stage has no doubt helped my confidence, if anything I am probably over confident now. So yea, I look better, but not exactly good, and I am very confident. Is this really enough to explain away how women have been acting around me lately?

I know I can trust my male friends, they were there when I was fat and broke. Most of them get to see me less now than before, and when we meet we usually just chill out without spending a bean, but how can I trust women?

Before feminists jump all over me for this one (you know who you are :P), I know guys could try and use me too, I know, but at the moment I have no reason to suspect that.

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