What is the rudest thing you have ever said to a waiter/waitress?

“Stop sneezing on my food, or I’ll have you fired.”

You’re lucky you even earn minimum wage. (In my head)
I don’t like my food served with extra spit.

I don’t think I’ve ever said anything rude to a waiter or waitress.

I just bitch about them to my husband. ;)

I have never been rude to a waiter even when they deserve it. I don’t want them doing mean, evil, or vile things to my food. I don’t get to eat out much, so I want to enjoy it. I will say stuff to whoever I am with after I leave.

I have never been rude to anyone who touches my food no matter how bad the service was.

Abide by that rule, and you will go far in life.

I’ve never said anything rude, but whenever the server sucks like a back alley whore, I either tip them very little or not at all.

I’ve never said anything to a server. I usually wait till I’ve paid my bill then inform management. I think that’s much more productive.

To the Indian waiter who was hanging around after giving us our food and kept asking if everything was ok, every freakin 3 mins, I lost my temper and told him to “just piss off we are trying to have a conversation here”. It was very rude of me and my SO told me that he would probably spit in my food and laugh as he watched me eat it. What can I say PMT that day big time!!!

I’ve never said anything rude to a waiter/ress. I sent food back a few times, but wasn’t rude about it.

“I said I without mushrooms”, when she brought me a pizza with mushrooms.

I do not like mushrooms, so I was somewhat annoyed. I should have said, ”No mushrooms”, because I guess she didn’t hear the out part of with out.

I’m not rude to anyone really. I usually do either what @jonsblond does and complain about it to my hubby or what @tinyfaery does and complain to the manager as I’m settling the bill.

“Oh you do work here then?, for the past half an hour I was thinking you worked of a resturant the other side of town and had to catch a bus to bring the menu”

“Hey asshole, I’m 2 meters tall, are you seriously going to pretend you cant fucking see me for the rest of the night?” [Storms off without paying for anything]

If it gets to the point that I’m rude, I’m not staying.

I’m not sure if it was rude but I did ask a server to stop reaching to clear plates until everyone was clearly done eating. I could have said it more softly but I was really annoyed and so was a bit curt.

Another time I asked the server to stop coming over every minute and asking if there was anything else we wanted. The objective was to be able to put a bill on the table but I wanted my guests to be able to relax, enjoy their coffee/desserts. I told the server we would want only for more coffee and time to talk, their tip would be better if they let us alone.

I’ve never been rude to a server. You can express dissatisfaction without rudeness. Being rude would only cause me embarrassment and give the server a legitimate grievance against me instead of calling attention to the original problem.

I’d rather elicit an apology and an offer to make good than invite escalating rudeness.

A waiter came to the table, and asked how our food was. My Mom, who didn’t like how it was prepared, looked up and said “I’m keeping it down.”
She said it so non-chalantly that I almost missed it.

In my younger years, when we recieved bad service in a restaurant, my friends and I would remark how nice it was that that particular restaurant hired the handicapped. Once a waitress overheard that, and was quite upset with us.

Pardon me and my French bitch, but I’m not your napkin.

@filmfann “I’m keeping it down”, it says so much in so few words, fantastic, I shall file that comment away for future use, should the need ever arise.

I fat woman was making my sub at Subway and when she reached over to grab more veggies, her fat belly would touch my food. I said “hey, your shirt is touching my sandwich” and she acted like I was a dick. Maybe I was a dick, but get your fat fucking stomach out of my dinner. Maybe follow in Jared Fogle’s footsteps.

When one meal out of six was delivered after we were all finished, I said “That better not show up on the bill”, in a very firm voice.

I’ve never said anything rude to a waitperson, even if they deserved it. So the worst thing I ever said to them, which probably scared them, rather than offended them, was, “Please tell me the name of your manager, because I will be speaking to them about X, Y and Z, and by the way, is your name spelled with one L or two Michelle?”

Nothing. But I went out eating with some friends once. We ordered a huge plate of fries, and asked for gravy. The waitress said it would cost an extra dollar. This one guy’s all like, what the fuck, this fucking gravy made out of gold or what?

I thought it was pretty funny back then. However, I have had a pretty heavy waitress career since then, (although mostly in bars, not quite the same, but close enough, and I have worked in hotels and some restaurants) and I don’t think it’s all that funny now lol.

About five years ago or something, some coworkers and I went out to eat at a fancy restaurant. We were all having a couples outing. Everything went well, and when we were done, we asked for the bill and all.
Except the printer was fucking up, and the waiter took like half an hour to produce our bill. He apologized and said that we could forget about giving him any tips. One guy we dined with said, yeah, for sure. I thought he was being such an asshole. It wasn’t that waiter’s fault. I know people rag on waiters and waitresses alla time because they get tips, but they’re people too, damnit.

And the guy who said that was my boyfriend at the time. He should have known better. He worked in a fucking internet coffee shop at the time, himself. :/

I’ve never been rude to a waiter or waitress but like @poisonedantidote I have left when they’ve been incapable of actually serving me within a reasonable time.