Is it weird that I'm a feminist?

No it’s not bad. In fact it tells me that your parents are doing a wonderful job of raising you to respect women. Congratulations…..you are a dying breed.

@missingbite I’m a girl…

Ok. It tells me that your parents have raised you to be respectful of people and don’t like injustices to other women. Either way it is admirable. I’m a man and fully respect women. Stand up for yourself and other women. It’s still a good thing.

No… Why would it be bad?

My first reaction is: Why would it be bad? But then my second reaction is, how do you see yourself as being a feminist, and how does feminism play a part in your life (and for that matter, how do you define feminism)? I consider myself a feminist, but I also am very opposed to certain feminist theories and schools of thought (like Radical Feminism).

But my question is, is it bad that since I’m 14, I’m like this? No no it is the exact opposite of bad. But there are parties who poo poo feminism, that maybe where you are getting that feeling. You should be proud. But respect for men by women is important as well. What we are bombarded by in the media anyway, is the need for a lot more respect for women. Also the need for women to respect themselves and not act like gold diggers etc.

That’s great! Rock on.

No, it’s great that you have an awareness of women’s equality at your age. Good job on your mom’s part.

Would be weird if you weren’t. I don’t see how anyone isn’t.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You would say that. And I agree :)

It is not weird to be a feminist (remember that often that word is used to mean someone who strives for equality across the board, not just in regard to women. Some people have the mistaken idea that “feminism” means wanting women to be above men…)

It all depends. If its a matter that your friends are being put off by your views that is natural. They don’t want friends who they feel have the same views of their moms. It really depends on how vocal you are. If your defending people who don’t want to be defended or feel they simply don’t need your defense, then it can get a little wierd. Your friends may wonder why are you getting so fired up about something they will forget about in a few days. Just make sure your not over stepping. You see clearly how women should be treated. Your friends may simply not be aware. You can discuss but be careful your not preaching to the point where they only get turned off and decide to discard you as a friend.
Also remember at 14 its quite normal for relationships to burn bright and then burn out just as quickly. But its always admirable to stand up for others and yourself. Just make sure you aren’t making a mountain out of a mole hill. Also remember that guys are not the only ones who ever do the discarding.

@DominicX To be fair, the idea that feminism wants women to be above men isn’t always wrong; while it hardly represents the mainstream or popular view, there are more radical small groups that have (especially historically) wanted just that. This is why I always inquire as to what someone means by feminism.

No, it’s not weird, bad, unusual, different or special to be a feminist, but being a feminist is more than respecting women and thinking that it’s “messed up” for a guy to leave a girl hanging. Plenty of people respect women because they believe it’s right to respect the human race in general and they aren’t necessarily behind any or all of the feminist theories/movements.

@Vunessuh And being a feminist can often mean being just a pissed when a girl leaves a guy hanging, or trying to figure out if this is a gendered thing, or just something that people do to each other.

@Aethelflaed Agreed. @Vunessuh Though, it’s really hard to see, at least for me, how they don’t believe in any feminist theories and simultaneously believe in equality between genders.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir The any is for those who really don’t care or don’t fight for equality in genders, but don’t automatically go home and beat their wives because of it.

@Vunessuh I don’t know about other people but I don’t generally think of those who don’t identify as feminists as wife-beaters.

@Vunessuh Naw. They just post stuff that ends up on I’m Not Sexist But. Kidding, kidding…

@Simone_De_Beauvoir ”Though, it’s really hard to see, at least for me, how they don’t believe in any feminist theories and simultaneously believe in equality between genders.”

What I’m saying is, there are people who don’t make a point in their life to care about or fight for gender equality and still respect women.

No, it’s good. It’s good to start thinking about important issues at a young age.

@Vunessuh I guess this is where I mention, again, that I don’t think feminists are people who make gender equality their whole point in life. Being a feminist is just a facet, of millions facets, don’t you think?

It’s certainly not weird to be a feminist. It is nice is one has a sense of the history of feminism and what feminists have fought for. That helps you understand what tradition you are claiming to be a part of when you call yourself a feminist.

One part of feminism is about fighting the male notions of privilege with respect to women. If men and women are equal, then men don’t get to act as if women will always follow their lead and do what they say. Men will not behave as if women are automatically inferior to them.

My question is then about what the boys are doing when they leave the girls after two weeks. Are they asserting some male privilege here? Or are they just being jerks? Or maybe just being immature?

Does the issue of men (or boys) being insensitive to women’s feelings in love relationships count as a feminist issue or a broader issue? I see it as an issue of boys not being raised to understand feelings nor to be able to communicate about feelings. Boys are struggling to be men, and often times, the only role models they have are rock, rap, or sports stars.

These are models that teach boys not to have feelings and to treat women as objects instead of people. These are attitudes that hurt men and boys as much as they hurt women. Boys get cut off from their feelings and they don’t even have a language to talk about it.

Girls, of course, don’t generally understand this. And they are subject to some of the same myths of what it means to be a man, and what they want their man to be. So they often look for cool, hot guys (lol—cool, hot) without thinking that these guys may not be in touch with any feelings at all other than their notions of machismo. And a macho man doesn’t really care about a woman.

Both boys and girls are working from dysfunctional myths about how men and women should behave. Do women get the worst of it? I think that point is arguable. I think that men are just as much damaged by the notion of male privilege as women are. Male privilege comes at a huge cost—maybe four or five years of life.

To me, feminism is just as much for men as it is for women. To me, feminism is humanism. It’s just that it is women taking the lead on pointing our these systemic problems. Since women are doing this work, it’s always good to see young people identify themselves as feminists, no matter how sophisticated or unsophisticated their understanding of the issues is.

Boys leaving girls is the tip of an ice berg of much, much deeper issues. Addressing these issues will help men just as much as they help women. Ideally, men and women would work together on these issues, but only a small portion of women are feminists and and even smaller portion of men understand these issues, and even less of those men identify as feminists.

I don’t think any of this is weird. It may be weird in some people’s eyes, but not in the eyes of other feminists. It is not age that makes feminism weird. It is the fact that so few people are willing to label themselves as feminists these days. And the shocking thing is that so many young women think the war between the sexes has been won and they have equal opportunity and equal pay and can run for President and whatnot. Of course, there is still a long way to go. I hope you can stay the course and be proud to call yourself a feminist when you are 60 as you are now.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yes, but that has nothing to do with my point. Feminism is more than just respecting women and wanting men to not “leave them hanging.” To me, that displays a rudimentary understanding of being a feminist. Not a bad or wrong understanding, just a real basic one. There are plenty of people who respect women not because they’re feminists, but because it is the right thing to do. Not everyone automatically supports any or all of the feminism views, just because they respect females and those who do not fight for equal gender rights don’t automatically disrespect them. I’m not saying that this is what you were implying, but regarding the OP, being a feminist is a little more intricate than being upset with a guy for ditching a girl.

So when I said it’s not weird, bad, special, etc. to think how she thinks, it’s because feminists and plenty of non-feminists alike, feel this way.

No it’s not bad as long as you don’t become the ones that are under the impression that housewives are submissive and ignorant and all women should be career women.

No it is not weird at all! I was like that too, and still am :) Its nice to meet people like you!

@Vunessuh Oh, thanks for clarifying.

That depends on how you feel about men and respect for them.If it’s equal then it doesn’t necessarily make you a feminist, but just someone who has respect for people and that’s always a good thing.

But if you hold greater respect for women to the detriment of males, then that’d make you a bit of a chauvanist, and that would be the opposite of what feminism was supposed to be about: equality.

Women need to just be equal, so promotion of hate toward women like
Family Guy is…

-And women who say things like “women are better than men…” not helpful.

Nah, it’s cool.

Let me put it this way… at 14, you probably totally missed the Sister Sister/Lizzy McGuire era on Disney and only got the tail end of That’s So Raven… your age group got Hannah Montana (say what!), were probably exposed to Bratz, have books on the shelves for your age like Pretty Little Liars and The Clique, and when you were a tyke, probably were exposed somehow to trainwrecks like Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton and grew up with 14 year olds portrayed as sex kittens….

And you’re a feminist??! GASP!!!!!! I am genuinely impressed!!! It shows you are not a mindless pawn of your generation!!!

Congratulations and I hope you can influence your friends sooner or later. Just keep in mind what you’re up against (what I mentioned above).

@linguaphile . The corporations producing what you mentioned above are the culprits not the children who grew up with the portrayal. Even if there are parents who are willing to sell their children the corporations should not be available to buy them.

Family Guy actively promotes hate, period. The same with South Park. They set out to poison.

@flo

Anyone who thinks South Park “promotes hate” doesn’t understand the point of South Park…

@flo I know what you mean. I used to like Family Guy, back in the day, but it seems like ever since the cancellation it went from being satire mocking hate to just being hateful. I believe there was a change in who ran the show at that time.

@DominicX make me laugh, go ahead and elaborate.

@incendiary_dan I only watched a few of them in the last few months. Gruesome. You can put anything on the screen and people are so brain washed they can only think of freedom of speech.
Added: By the way Family Guy is so vile even @DominicX doesn’t disagree.

@blueberry_kid Here’s a somewhat relevant article on why feminism evolved to have such a bad rap.

@blueberry_kid stay clear from people who say things like “women are empowered by their sexuality”, or women can’t go topless in public like men can, therefore they are oppressed” These are perverts, or slaves of perverts (some are women) who are trying to distract from the real issues.

@flo And I could say the same about staying away from radical feminists, who are so hell-bent on oppression and policing other women that they become almost indistinguishable from the Christian Right and the patriarchy they are trying to defeat, but isn’t it better that @blueberry_kid choose for herself what she’d like her personal beliefs to be?

@Aethelflaed Of course, I expect @blueberry_kid to choose for herself. Why can’t she read my last post and all kinds of other sources and then choose? Is what I posted above so threatening?

@flo What you posted was an order, not an option. It said nothing of her choosing for herself, and everything of her following what you said.

@Aethelflaed are you trying to be funny? By the way when I find something indistiguishable from something else, it could be my lack of skill of distinguishing them. I just ask somebody else to help me.

@Aethelflaed And what you posted made pretty clear you’ve never actually dealt with many/any radical feminists. @flo‘s comment was obviously advice and not an order, just simply worded in an imperative form.

@incendiary_dan Actually, I’ve dealt with quite a lot of radical feminists, hence my dislike for the philosophy. If something is advice, then it’s nice to specify that and not ask someone to read your mind. If it was advice, then good for her, but it said nothing about it only being advise.

@incendiary_dan thank goodness for that.
OMG! @Aethelflaed . It is a given when people go to a Q&A site they are exchanging ideas giving advice. No user has authority over anyone so it is just a given that it is an advice. Context.

Maybe there is something to that Mercury retrograde thing…

@Aethelflaed when people say “Drive safe” you must be thinking “who do they think they are giving me orders?” Or the instructions that you read they all worded in the imperative. Do they include “this is just an advice”?