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poisonedantidote's avatar

What can I do about my bad mood?

Asked by poisonedantidote (21539 points ) August 20th, 2011

I’m in a bad way at the moment, and have a mind full of poison and hate. I can forget about it, but don’t think that would be productive.

For the last couple of days my boss has been getting greedier and greedier and has been riding my ass to earn him more money even though I’m already earning the company over 20 times what the last guy to do my job was earning the company.

My boss lies, he says things and then goes back on his word. For example, at the job interview he told me that some days the hotel guests wont want to do anything, and on those days, I can just go home. The other day the guests did not want to do anything, and so I went home, and this made my boss angry, and he told me I should have staid and waited out my hours at the hotel, even if it was doing nothing. On several occasions now he has directly lied, and it is affecting my mood.

My boss can’t fire me, he is my boss, but it is a strange situation, if he tried to fire me he would lose a lot, I have enough power over him to guarantee my employment is not at risk, but it is still affecting my mood.

I used to be a very bad person when I was in my teens, and I probably still am deep down, or at least have the potential to be bad still.

My boss is starting to make me think bad things. I know some secrets that I could use to ruin his life, and he is starting to fill me with so much spite that I am contemplating using my secrets and other things against him.

I have been doing this job since the start of this year, and it has changed my life, specially in terms of how much it pays. It’s a great job, and I really like working there, I even like my boss when he is being reasonable. However, his recent greedy and deceptive behaviour is starting to make me paranoid, and I fear that if he keeps fucking with me that I’ll end up destroying everything he has worked for the past 37 years. I don’t want to be the bad guy again, and don’t want to be thinking these things. He has a family and children, and while they are totally innocent, if push comes to shove I will be forced to ruin them too.

What can I do so that it does not come to that? How can I change my mood and thoughts?

Talking to him about this is not an option.

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10 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

I was looking for an excuse to send this on. Hope it helps.

DesCartes was asked if he wanted fries with his hamburger. “I think not,” he said, and instantly vanished.

Now, take a deep breath and go for a run or a swim. You have been making tremendous progress. DO NOT BACKSLIDE.

Cruiser's avatar

Don’t walk run to the nearest Martial Arts Dojo and start taking Tae Kwon Do. Sounds like you need to channel some deep seated anger and martial arts will allow you to burn off a lot of it and KSA in the process.

tom_g's avatar

@poisonedantidote: “I used to be a very bad person when I was in my teens, and I probably still am deep down, or at least have the potential to be bad still.”

Look where that got you. You’re still suffering. Try something else.

Exercise, cage-fighting, vipassana meditation, yoga, week-long journey into the wild by yourself, therapy.

Try to push yourself a bit. Try something that doesn’t feel comfortable.

My vote is also my usual annoying stock answer: vipassana meditation. You might not “change [your] mood and thoughts”, but its possible to not be pushed around by those thoughts.

marinelife's avatar

Look for another, similar job on the QT.

When the bad thoughts fill your mind, stop and think about good days and good memories that you have since you turned your life around, You don’t want to wreck that.

Hibernate's avatar

Word of advice .. stay away from razors :)

YARNLADY's avatar

Watch this TV clip

augustlan's avatar

Quit that job, as soon as humanly possible. In the meantime, make a plan to get you moving in that direction. Remind yourself daily (hourly, if needed) that you will be out of there soon, and let that be the light at the end of your tunnel.

Remember, we’re here to support you. Lean on us.

poisonedantidote's avatar

@augustlan “Quit that job”

Hehehehe, that’s madness, it pays way too well, but I’ll keep it in mind.

poisonedantidote's avatar

Anyway, thanks to everyone, but I’m in a much better mood now. It is only temporary, things will get shitty again soon, but a nice chat with my favorite person fixed everything for now.

Still feel free to answer anyway, next time I’m in a bad mood it is bound to be for the same reasons.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It’s good to hear that you are in a better mood. Sometimes venting about a situation is all that is needed.

Since the concerns sound like they are likely to come up again, here is my take on it:
For the last couple of days my boss has been getting greedier and greedier and has been riding my ass to earn him more money even though I’m already earning the company over 20 times what the last guy to do my job was earning the company. Like you, I once took a hotel job, but as a reservations manager. The person I replaced was not good at her job (although it wasn’t her fault.) When the manager started to see the money roll in, he later started pushing the bar on my performance. I looked at is as a professional challenge and not a personal insult. He was good at giving recognition for a job well done. He would also talk to me when I messed up.

My boss, the GM (general manager) started including me in financial meetings, which helped me get the bigger picture. If yours doesn’t do this, you might want to inquire about it. It taught me a lot about the business.

My boss lies, he says things and then goes back on his word. No one appreciates this. In defense of your boss though, it could be that the circumstances have changed. As for the example given, if the previous entertainment planner did a poor job and wasn’t as respected as you, it might explain why the boss was comfortable in having him go home during a slow period. Maybe there are guests that were asking for you after you left. Maybe the previous person let the boss know when he was leaving the site and you didn’t. It sounds like it is time to have a discussion with him about his expectations now that you are in this role. His thought process may have changed, or maybe he expects you to act the same way the previous person did without communicating what that was.

My boss can’t fire me, he is my boss, but it is a strange situation, if he tried to fire me he would lose a lot, I have enough power over him to guarantee my employment is not at risk, but it is still affecting my mood. We don’t know all of the details behind your situation, but there are very few jobs where someone cannot be fired by their boss. Never overestimate your power in a position, especially when it comes to working for an independent company. In my experience, it is the person who is lower on the ladder that gets the boot first, no matter how much money they are bringing in.

#What can I do so that it does not come to that? How can I change my mood and thoughts? Talking to him about this is not an option.* Why is talking to him not an option? As long as you are calm and pose it in a way that asks for his help in helping you help him, could it be that bad? If the answer is yes, and you aren’t willing to talk to him and you aren’t willing to find another job, then the only other option is to accept the situation for the way it is. Some people can do this. It doesn’t sound like it is the best option for you.

Please let us know what happens. We care about your well-being.

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