What is the most likely reason you would be imprisoned?
Based on your life/personality/decision making, what crime is within the realm of possibility for you? What would land your ass behind bars?
I could see myself committing grand larceny. Whether it was for selfish reasons or a sort of Robin Hood escapade.
So how about you?
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48 Answers
I’m with @hawaii_jake. I’d probably be arrested for screwing in a public place.
Caught kissing in the street in a Moslem country.
Most likely to be caught smoking weed. Although to be fair I haven’t touched it in about three years now.
Probably something innocent like getting caught having sex in my car somewhere. Or peeing in public.
I would definitely be imprisoned for brutally torturing and then, in the end killing any person who i saw hurting an animal.
I’ve always been afraid of the very small chance someone is walking in the middle of the road in a curve so incoming cars can’t stop until the last minute. Is that involuntary manslaughter if you hit them?
Probably for aiding a fugitive or something. Especially if I thought they were wrongfully accused. Offering sanctuary to an illegal….. something like that.
Tax evasion. And or being in possession of too much Chinese currency.
Unbiased terrorism at the worst, but currently the most likely thing is flipping cops the bird while running from then due to being at a party gone south.
Drug trafficking. Bank robbery.
Er hmm…to be completely honest, probably nothing haha.
Maybe messing with traffic boards and change the warnings to things like, ’‘Zombies! Run!’’ or ’‘Thou shalt not pass!’’.
Wait, is this like… what is the worst crime you could imagine yourself committing, or what would you actually do?
The most likely? Slowly murdering someone who hurt my children.
“Accidentally” running over a former boss with my car. All of the other employees who worked for this douche-bag would say, “No, she didn’t do it. We never saw a thing.” Then they would all go out and celebrate with Champagne.
Well here then…
Most likely that I imagine but wouldn’t/couldn’t do; set a whole buncha shit on fire. Mess with traffic boards.
Most likely that I would actually do; government fraud.
Punching the shit out of some sexist asshole on the street.
I’ve already been imprisoned (for shoplifting).
@FutureMemory really? What was it like in there? I’ll bet it sucked. :(
Public intoxication and/or public indecency.
I’m surprised I’m the first to say something involving alcohol.
With my luck, I will probably accidentally eat a pot brownie and get caught by the police at some point in the future.
@Symbeline
Actually it was just for one day. It was fine, really. I had to sign a lot of paperwork, have my picture taken, etc. Had to strip down to show I didn’t have any weapons on me. The guards were all pretty cool. I wasn’t mistreated by them. After spending a few hours doing all that processing crap I had to wait in a holding cell with about a dozen other guys for 2–3 more hours. That was odd since no one spoke. It was completely silent. We all just sat there in a relatively small room staring at the ground or the ceiling, waiting to be released. After they finally called my name they gave me back my shoelaces (they take them from you so you don’t hang yourself) and some paperwork to take home, and I was free to go. Was in there for maybe 5–6 hours total.
Wow, weird. So everyone just sits around and waits? Doesn’t sound too bad, for a one day imprisonment. Thanks for sharing the experience. :)
Srsly, they take away shoelaces so you don’t hang yourself? O_o
It would be for saying something completely inappropriate. Sometimes my mouth works much faster than the brain can filter it.
@Symbeline
Yeah, the worst part was having to take the day off work to do it. This was years ago, in my early 20’s. A stupid teenage habit (shoplifting) that I hadn’t stopped…til I was forced to, heh.
Indecent exposure (being caught doing something naughty in a place where others might see).
Ok. I wish.
More likely would be arrested for participating in a sit-in of some kind.
Over-eating. They’d put me in a cell and ration my food. I wouldn’t have to worry about what to wear. I wouldn’t have to pay rent or utilities. When I got out I could take the money I saved and splurge on whatever I wanted. Hmm. That sounds pretty good. Maybe I’ll think of a serious charge.
If I ended up behind bars, it will probably be from something that involves sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong out of misguided concern or curiosity. Either that or driving the getaway car for a TP stint. Or something that I didn’t do, but someone near me did.
Last year I opened my home to one of my actors who needed a place to live. He secretly grew a freaking pot farm in my freaking basement without my freaking knowledge. I was beyond livid. We don’t even own this house! It’s owned by a COP! I don’t care that it’s a perfect scene out of a movie… that’s 18 years of my training, my career, my residence and family’s well being put at risk. That’s what I mean… if I ended up in jail it would be because of some reality show crap like this.
Something to do with sex.
Cutting the heads off of parking meters.
Shoplifting, drugs or not paying car tickets/not being insured.
@Blondesjon And failure to communicate..?
@ddude1116 . . . i am a natural born world shaker . . .
@FutureMemory I did a day and a half and had to spread my ass cheeks for the guards. srsly :/
Being in possession of drug paraphernalia (though I haven’t smoked pot in months). Other than that, I’m a good girl. now
Tossing used teabags at the Queen as she went by on one of her odious little walkabouts!
“You take sugar maaaam?”
@ucme I came very, very close to mooning Nancy Reagan once. I kind of regret not doing it, but I’d probably still be in the Big House.
Well, if I had enough money to do so, emulate the life of Marquis de Sade :-p
Getting amorous in public. Someone seeing my tits.
Ooooh! I wanna see your tits! :-p
(Wasn’t there a flame war here on Fluther last year about guys’ natural reaction to glancing at tits?)
Come here on Wednesdays and you can see mine, lol. =0)
@Jude Before we could drive my friends and I used to have to ride bikes home after we’d been drinking (now we have a DD of course). We rode over a freeway overpass every time. It was strictly an overpass for bikes so we didn’t need to worry about cars (or police) driving past. Needless to say, lots of flashing and mooning.
@Allie Did you post the approximate times of the lunar eclipses viewings on your website for devoted astronomers?
@wundayatta No, but dedicated ass-tronomers (I’m so punny!) knew it’d typically be around 1 or 2am.
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