Social Question

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

NSFW Can a zombie be sexually active?

Asked by Adirondackwannabe (33618 points ) September 1st, 2011

Inspired by seelix’s question. Are zombies sexually active? I’ve never seen this addressed in the movies.

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35 Answers

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Yes.I dated one.His name was Psycho Bob.;)

Hibernate's avatar

Dunno. Let’s ask @Symbeline. She knows more about these stuff ^^

pezz's avatar

I work with some zombies, I wouldn’t mind some of them f*£$%&g off

JilltheTooth's avatar

I’d be worried about essential bits falling off if they were. Ew.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@JilltheTooth It didn’t make a difference with Psycho Bob. :((( XD

FutureMemory's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille Except for the guy’s name, I had your answer pegged 100% before I even read it =P

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JilltheTooth I hadn’t quite taken it that far, but that’s gross. Nothing like rolling over in the morning and finding a few “essential bits” in the bed after they left.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@FutureMemory And it’s all true too! :)

syz's avatar

They don’t have a functioning circulatory system, so I don’t see how the plumbing could possibly work.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@syz So the male zombie would suffer from ED?
Here’s a little irony. I’m listening to AC/DC, Hard as a Rock.

Cruiser's avatar

I wouldn’t know first hand but they must be as they have their own blog on sex tips
http://sextipsforzombies.wordpress.com/

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Cruiser I may regret this question at some point. LMAO

sophiesword's avatar

well what if during intercourse his thingy breaks inside you and then just stays there?:S
I’m sure that would lead to a NASTY infection!!

JilltheTooth's avatar

Let me reiterate. Ew.

FutureMemory's avatar

@JilltheTooth Too many bad memories associated with this topic, Jill?

JilltheTooth's avatar

Oh, we are so not going there!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@JilltheTooth You slept with Psycho Bob too?? I thought I was the only one…

JilltheTooth's avatar

He was pretty used up after you were done with him! Not much fun left in the boy… ;-P

marinelife's avatar

Unless his you-know-what has rotted off.

erichw1504's avatar

Yes, if I was a zombie.

redfeather's avatar

They like gettin brain.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@redfeather Reminds me of the Amazon queen when her servant brought her a shrunken head. She looks at him, and says That wasn’t what I meant when I said I wanted a little head.

redfeather's avatar

haha noooo idea what movie that is, but that’s funny. And I hope that guy got punished for being stupid.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

At first, I thought this question was asking if a zombie can be sexually attractive and was all set to yell “hell no!”

How could zombies be sexually active? Hump, hump, “Oh damn, my dick fell off. Braaaaaaiiiiiiiins!” Hump, hump, “That’s okay dear, my tits fell off five minutes ago. Braaaaaiiiiiiiins!”

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate Well, it would give a new meaning to cumming my brains out.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

True, true. Just don’t get any of your brains on me, I don’t wanna have to clean that up!

Blueroses's avatar

What did the zombie say to the prostitute?

Keep the tip.

zenvelo's avatar

Well, oral sex is out of the question. I can’t imagine getting a blow job from a zombie, she’d bite my dick off. And no cunnilingus for her, eeewww yuck! (talk about redwings!).

When you grab a zombie boob, does it come off in your hands?

mazingerz88's avatar

Obviously, you could still do it with a freshly made zombie with his or her hands tied, mouth taped or gagged. Think Megan Fox, body intact, just dead like her acting skills. Plus, you have to be a paradoxical ( dead but moving ) necrophiliac to enjoy it.

Right @Symbeline?

Ayesha's avatar

Haha Sophie!! Great answer!
Oh and i don’t have any idea what to write as an answer to this question! Interesting question though.

Symbeline's avatar

Nothing on a zombie is functional, other than motor skills, and the part of the brain that gives them their instinct. Even though it eats, it can’t digest, even though it moans, it doesn’t breathe. Stimulation with a zombie is impossible. Even if they were to finger one another, they wouldn’t feel a thing anyways. No matter what is done to a zombie penis won’t get it hard, and no matter what is done to a zombie vagina won’t get it wet. (at least in context with the question)
In theory, a zombie could stick its mushy dick in a dead vagina if it tried hard enough, (or a dead ass) but they wouldn’t know what to do about it, and even if they did, since they’re dead, nothing functions. If anything, they’d taste and explore one another, to see if that thing they’re with is edible. ’‘Embrace’’, however it may have happened, would quickly cease when their instinct registers the ’‘partner’’ as useless to their needs. (although I’m of the mind that in classic zombies, zombies aren’t even aware of the presence of other zombies, and a close encounter with a fellow zombie would not be distinguished as anything different than a car or lamp post)

Although I’ve seen comic books that would beg to differ about bangaranging zombies…

@mazingerz88 A person could fuck a zombie, yeah. With the proper precautions, it’s entirely possible. But one might have to improvise. If it’s still in the state of rigor mortis, a woman could use that to her advantage, I guess. A man could enter a woman zombie, and he’d feel something, but the zombie wouldn’t.

I think I answered this question on here before, but I don’t entirely recall.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Symbeline Ha ha ha, bangaranging zombies!

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