What can I do to just feel alright again?

It’s been one week since Asher died, tomorrow.
I know it’s soon, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I try to stay strong, but I’m not that tough.
I don’t know how to begin to deal with this. I don’t know how to start the healing process, and finally accept that he’s really gone forever. I don’t even know if I can do that at all…
I don’t expect to get over it so fast, but I can’t even finish a sentence anymore, without choking on my words. I just want to feel like I can do this. Like it’s really going to be okay.
I wish I could know that Ashers murder did not get tossed to the wayside… But nothing the courts can do will make this right. Nothing they can say will be good enough to even lessen the images in my head of what was done to Asher…