Social Question

Blackberry's avatar

Do you ever "sense" a connection with someone? What's up with that?

Asked by Blackberry (29341 points ) September 11th, 2011

Are these things real? Is this just chemistry at its finest or what? And how do you know if it’s real or not?

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44 Answers

harple's avatar

Yes, it’s entrancing and some people can get quite hooked on that feeling… How do you know if it’s real? You act on it and see what happens :-)

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yeah…I’ve wondered how that happens too. What exactly IS it? How does it happen?

ucme's avatar

I had this with my first girlfriend, her name was Felicity & she filled me with electricity.
Alas things weren’t meant to be, you could say the spark went out on our relationship…bada boom!!

janbb's avatar

Yes and it can be a very painful experience when it doesn’t pan out.

hiphiphopflipflapflop's avatar

@ucme “electricity”. :) I was going to describe what I felt once on making eye contact with a young lady (and me as a young lad) as electric eye contact. Amazing how much can appear to pass between strangers with a single glance. But that can’t really be all that deep?

pezz's avatar

But why is it the you feel this connection with someone you can’t have?

Cruiser's avatar

Yes…very much so. I felt that with every S/O I have had a deep and committed relationship with….you just know when you meet that person. :)

Ayesha's avatar

Sure, I’ve felt it. Never do anything about it though. Either that, or my attempts come out as ‘really poor’.

ddude1116's avatar

Yep. We’ve all felt it.

Blackberry's avatar

@pezz I know, man…... :( Life is unfair like that, and it hurts so bad…...

tinyfaery's avatar

I’m sure it’s just a reaction to unconscious cues mixed with a bit of pheremone reception. No biggie.

Coloma's avatar

Of course, and, the possibilities of “why” are as diverse as the people and potential relational “philosophies” involved.

All the way from cellular pathologies uniting to perhaps karmic connection, ya know, I’m here now to love you in return for killing you in the 14th century, or, just bare bones, pun intended, as in my bone would love to fill your empty cupboard. lololol

josie's avatar

It is absolutely real. And I am sure it has an objective basis. But sometimes the values involved are buried in the subconcious.
But it is totally real.

picante's avatar

I often feel a strong connection to folks, but maybe not in quite the way you’re describing. The one time I did feel that strong connectedness in an immediate, almost overwhelming (romantic) way . . . well, I’m still trying to recover from the aftershocks (many good / some exhilirating / most of the sad kind). All I can say is you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that the connection gets severed. As to whether it’s real—the feeling is “real” for you.

Earthgirl's avatar

I do sense connection intuitively. I don’t think it has to mean that it is supernatural or past life connections. It might involve many things that we are able to sense subconsciously, or, to go out on a more unscientific limb, it might involve sensing the person’s aura. In the case of a non-physical meeting, as on the internet, it has an element of instant recognition to it. How accurate is it? I suppose that varies from person to person. For me, it is pretty accurate.

smilingheart1's avatar

See! There we go back to those auras that so few want to believe in! Our true guts are spiritual not physical.

wundayatta's avatar

I think that “connection” is a kind of all-inclusive metaphor for a lot of different feelings. Some of those feelings are hormonal—you smell right to the other person; some of them are in the nature of a story: you identify with the story someone else tells… you feel like your stories are the same; some of them are energetic—you get this sense of a person’s “energy”—the way they interact with the world; the way they seem to think or flow. There is an actual physical component of this, because we can feel another person’s anger or calmness or jitteryness. These feelings send (for lack of a better word) an energy into the environment that we pick up without words. You can tell when someone is angry or happy. We just feel it. What we are feeling and how we are feeling it, I don’t know. But most of us can feel these things.

Connections can be positive or negative, but I think most people talk about positive connections. These can be made up of all kinds of similarities—political points of view, taste in movies or books or favorite sports or other pastimes.

I do not believe “connection” is magic or unexplainable. I do think its not very precisely defined so that it means different things to different people. I think that sex is one of the most powerful connections because it is usually filled with emotion, and is usually very charged and very intense. When we have sex with someone, we are usually strongly focused on that person.

I think it is the intensity of focus, not matter what activity you are doing with the person, that defines the strength of the connection. When you want to be near or with a person in a social or emotional way, it is largely because feel a strong connection with them—a connection that is based on many different factors.

Personally, I don’ think it’s a big deal. I think it happens often. Calling it a connection may add a little bit of panache to it, or may make it seem special, but it’s specialness is not in the fact that we feel it. We all feel these things to one degree or another. Positively or negatively.

What is special is who you feel it with, and how you feel it. So much goes into it, that we have to call it intuitive. We are navigating thousands of different factors all at once. It is not something we can handle consciously. It is something that only our subconscious brains can handle.

I have different senses of connection with different people. My sense of connection with my wife is different from that with my friends or with fellow musicians or dancers, or fellow members of a crowd or an audience.

Some of these connections feel extremely powerful—life changing. Some make me question what the hell I’ve been doing all my life. Some are much less of a deal than that. You never know when you’re going to meet someone who will change your life dramatically.

JLeslie's avatar

Yes, not just love interests, but friends and acquaintances also. There are even a couple people in our collective who I feel are very special, a connection with them. If I really believed in the theory that we reincarnate and souls stay near each other in each life, I would believe they were a sister or a mother, or a best friend in a previously life. I like that idea, but I don’t think it really works like that.

jessyamr's avatar

Does that include love at first sight? Does this thing really exists?

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t believe in the first sight thing. It can turn out the person we were attracted to immediately winds up being the one, but there can be 5 others we thought were great who don’t turn out that way. My deep “connections” usually happen over time as I get to know the person more and more.

Blackberry's avatar

@jessyamr I don’t believe in that, but I do think if the connection is there, it makes it easier to stay together.

Mariah's avatar

I have never felt this, that I can remember. :(

chyna's avatar

@Mariah You will.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

I probably knew that person from one of my past lives.

athenasgriffin's avatar

I certainly have. I’m sure some people would say it is just attraction, but I think it is more than that. I think you just know sometimes, “This person is right for me. Is like me.” If it is strong enough it can certainly be intimidating, though. But that part might be just me.:)

Symbeline's avatar

If you feel something, it’s definitely real, otherwise you wouldn’t feel it. Whether it’s chemistry or something else, I can’t say. I’d opt more for a chemistry of some type.

AshLeigh's avatar

I remember when I first met Nick.
I always knew I’d love him.
But I also always knew that he’d be gone…

CaptainHarley's avatar

I never believed in the “soul mate” theory before I met my Vicky. It was rather like putting on a very comfortable pair of shoes. We just seemed to fall into a perfect “fit.” We went grocery shopping and it was as though we had done it a thousand times. So, yes, I “sensed” a very deep and very real connection with her. It was far more than just simple attraction, which made it the easiest thing in the world to marry her. : )

chokolatcake's avatar

The first time me and my boyfriend met we instantly decided ‘your mine’ this was almost 3 years ago… now he’s my fiance and when we are in conversation or speaking to friends we accidentally say the exact same things, we feel like we were suppose to be together… it’s hard to explain the feeling but it feels like this is what i was meant for, to meet this person… I was thinking it one day and out of no where he says it feels like we were meant to be together, like i was meant to meet you… I was freaked out lol he keeps praying that he will have me in the next life and every life time after that… maybe he wished this in a previous life… who knows :)
I sercretly wish this too

CaptainHarley's avatar

@chokolatcake

You have the same thing Vicky and I have. It’s a totally amazing thing to me. We have finished each other’s sentances since the day we met… speak the other’s words right out of their mouth! LOL! You’re very blessed to have found him. My advice: Grab on with both hands and hold on for dear life! : ))

Blackberry's avatar

Hey…..Some of us aren’t as lucky as you. Let’s not rub it in the faces of others lol! :)

CaptainHarley's avatar

@Blackberry

Damn, bro! I’m sorry. Sometimes I just get so carried away with my love for her that I say ( and DO! ) stoopid things! Heh!

Blackberry's avatar

Lol, I know what you mean.

boxer3's avatar

Yessir, though I think most time the connection is real, I don’t think it means anything will necessarilly amount from it. It’s an odd thing that happens occasionally, I dunno…one of those hard to wrap your mind around type things.

chokolatcake's avatar

@CaptainHarley aww, I’m happy for you and your girlfriend :)
Mostly that connection happens when two opposites attract… Like my fiance was a party animal who loves to lead on the wrong type of girls and he was really out going… and I act too mature for my age… now he rubs off on me and I rub off on him hahaha!

@Blackberry Let me guess, you like partying, hanging with mates but you pick the wrong type of girls and deep inside your trying to find your soul mate? Or am I wrong?

jonsblond's avatar

@chokolatcake I had a similar experience when I met my husband. He was the roommate of a friend of mine I hadn’t visited in over two years. When I went to visit, Jon was sitting in front of the tv playing a video game. My friend called to Jon so he could introduce me. Jon turned his head from the game he was playing and I felt an instant connection when our eyes met. It was the strangest feeling. I can look back at that moment (almost 21 years later) and see it for what it was. It was an instant connection. We’ll be celebrating our 20 yr wedding anniversary this coming April. =)

chokolatcake's avatar

@chokolatcake your story is too romantic and too cute! Have a wonderful wedding anniversary! :)

CaptainHarley's avatar

@chokolatcake

She’s my wife, hon. Has been for almost four years now. : )

Blackberry's avatar

@chokolatcake Hahah! I guess you could say that.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@chokolatcake

I hope your anniversary is a truly happy and memorable one! : ))

chokolatcake's avatar

thanks guys :)

@Blackberry maybe your looking in the wrong places?
@CaptainHarley thank you! I wish you all the best!

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Yuppers… It’s all in the dendrites!

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