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erichw1504's avatar

(Possibly NFSW) Do you feel guilty when you have a dream about another woman/man?

Asked by erichw1504 (26329 points ) September 26th, 2011

While you were dating, engaged or married, have you ever had an intimate dream that involved a different person? The dream doesn’t have to go all the way with sex, but could just simply involve you having feelings for this person.

How did you feel about it after you woke up? What did you do about it? Did you tell your significant other? What did he/she have to say about it? Did it affect your relationship? How many times have you had a dream about someone else? How far did the dream go?

Describe, in detail, what happened in the dream; if you so please!

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27 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

No. How could someone be riddled with that much unnecessary guilt? Are people really denying what makes them human to this extent? I’ve “cheated” on all of my mates, then, if that’s the case. I simply woke and thought, “cool dream” then went on with my day.

Silly me, I should have known better than to give up control of my conscious and subconscious mind while sleeping. >.<

Cruiser's avatar

All the time…it is what makes sleeping worth while! I tell her about some of the more bizarre ones and we have a good laugh!

zensky's avatar

No control over it, so no.

woodcutter's avatar

It’s a dream so it doesn’t count. Now, if the dream gives you ideas that cause you to be bold enough to go for it IRL then there are bound to be problems.

Ayesha's avatar

No! I enjoy it. Cause when it’s me with guys like Jason Statham, Vin Diesel, doesn’t happen everyday. So even when I wake up, I go over and over the dream in my mind and have a lot of fun.
I have no control over it, well at least when I’m asleep :)
Therefore nobody should have a problem with it.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Nope. The only time I’ve ever felt remotely “guilty” (or perhaps “uncomfortable” would be a better word) was when I had a sexual dream about my husband’s best friend. It didn’t make me feel “guilty”, though, because despite the fact that I would never physically cheat on my husband, I would never betray him with his best friend.

I’ve told my husband about a few of my more bizarre dreams, and we had quite a few laughs when I told him I dreamed about hardcore sex with Evil Dick.

wundayatta's avatar

There is a woman I used to dream about occasionally over the course of my life. I dreamed about her fairly often when I was younger. But I haven’t done so in years.

She was beautiful, of course, and had dark hair. She was pushing a stroller across a beach and I was walking next to her. It was our infant in the stroller. She was my wife.

I would dream about her later on, even a couple of times after I was married. For a long time, I kind of believed I would meet her one day, but I never did. All the women I had serious relationships with were blond or red-headed. Nary at brunette among them.

I don’t think I ever felt guilty. My subconscious seems like a different person from me. He lives in a different world that is only somewhat related to the world I live in. He has an interesting life, but his life has slowly, over the years, disappeared from my view. I rarely remember dreams any more.

Perhaps I don’t care to remember them. If I woke up early with a dream log and wrote in it each morning, I’d probably have dreams to remember. But it doesn’t seem very important. I’ve done my playing in dreams. I’ve gone flying and I’ve controlled my dreams (lucid dreaming), and none of it seems particularly interesting to me any more, compared to other things I could be doing.

wonderingwhy's avatar

Guilty?
Not at all, it’s a dream what’s to feel guilty about.

How did you feel about it after you woke up?
Usually pretty good, something like a euphoric high, “walking in the clouds”, that sort of thing.

What did you do about it?
Pretty much always try to enjoy it while it lasts.

Did you tell your significant other?
Not always, but then I’m not big on “discussing dreams” unless she starts the conversation, so it’s pretty much business as usual.

What did he/she have to say about it?
The times I’ve told her, she’s never had an issue with it (at least not one she brought to my attention), she tends to be curious about that kind of thing.

Did it affect your relationship?
Nope.

How many times have you had a dream about someone else?
Once it the last week-ten days; beyond that too many to count.

How far did the dream go?
The most recent one was all the way; but for me that’s not how I measure them – I measure it based on that “high” when I wake up and how long it lasts. Using that measure, this one was about average or a touch better.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I don’t feel guilty and I don’t try to figure it out. If I ever had a 100 percent control and where my mind goes I’d probably have to off myself. Some of my best dreams have revolved around sex. Now that I say that some of the worst dreams have revolved around sex. I had one where Roseanne was, well you know.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe OMG, Roseanne? <gag> I’m so sorry you had to go through that; how traumatizing for you! On a less screeching note, I had this one dream, a few weeks back in which you and another jelly were with me and… nevermind. <runs to a cold shower>

Hibernate's avatar

Well it depends. If it’s someone I don’t know it’;s all good but if it’s someone I know then there’s a small problem.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No, are you kidding? People just love to come up with guilt these days out of nowhere.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Sometimes if it is someone I know. I mean, it isn’t rational, so I don’t dwell on it. But it happens.

ganti_x89's avatar

As long as it isn’t affecting your life in any way or maybe it’s your conscience trying to tell you that you did or had done something wrong, you shouldn’t really worry about it. I mean dreams are dreams and we cant control them.

lisa1471's avatar

Yup that’s what lead to my affair.I had visions of being with someone that I didn’t think I was even sexual attractive to and I acted on it and been sleeping with the person yr now.. go for it

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. I’d be more worried if I placed more significance on it than “just a dream”.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Nope. I would have to care first to feel guilt. I had that removed. It wasn’t working out for me.

Bellatrix's avatar

I never feel guilty about my dreams. If I have an erotic dream I am quite likely to tell my husband about it. “Hey I just had sex with xxx”. It’s a dream. It would be ridiculous if either I or he got upset about it.

tlm's avatar

It’s not something I can control. I wouldn’t feel guilty, but I’d have to give it some thought, as in why the hell am I attracted to someone else. Because if I get a dream, it means I, at least subconciounously, am.

Bellatrix's avatar

Or maybe you are just horny @tim. I have sexual dreams with people who have no faces (or at least I can’t remember the faces when I wake up) and @Adirondackwannabe said he had an erotic dream about Roseanne Barr. Now he might have the hots for her (anything you want to tell us @Adirondackwannabe) or perhaps he watched an episode of that comedy she was in and she was just in his brain.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Bellatrix There’s something wrong with me today; at a quick glance when I saw that you had mentioned our dear Wannabe, I was almost positive you were going to admit having a dream about him. I was all set to high five you, haha!

Bellatrix's avatar

Well @WillWorkForChocolate, now that you mention it… he does seem to be quite the cutey… it is always a possibility.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Bellatrix @WillWorkForChocolate Thanks guys. I really needed that. It put a smile on my face.:)

Leanne1986's avatar

I very rarely dream of being intimate with another person other than my boyfriend but when I do, I don’t feel guilty. I tell him about it! The last time I had a sexy dream it was with another woman, funnily enough he had no probably hearing all about it!

lisa1471's avatar

Not at all I did it and made that dream come true. Fantasized about someone and made it real .. So maybe it’s a bad thing then..

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