Is it possible for a guy to ask a girl to stay at his place after one date?

Alarm bells are ringing! Be careful. If you do it, be prepared to accept that it just might be a one night.

Let me see…. would I want to have a long term relationship with someone who will sleep with me on the first date? That would be “No!”
If you do stay over, make sure you both act honorably – unless you, too, are looking for a one night stand. If you want no regrets, don’t’ drink too much and don’t take any drugs from him.

Just for the record I once picked up up 2 female hitchhikers who were stranded in an isolated stretch of road. I let them stay at my house and left them there (alone!) when I went to work. Everyone acted properly. It was a positive life experience for all.

I’m sorry if I sound like your father… I can’t help it.

I went to my boyfriend’s (now husband) beach house after the first date. We just celebrated our 36th anniversary.

Everything you can and cannot imagine a guy would say/ask, is possible.
Please, follow your heart: if you listen to it and it tells you to don’t accept the offer…, don’t do it then!
On the other hand, my girlfriend invited me three years ago to her house when I was sleeping for a few days in the pumps/filter room of a swimming pool to sleep there, and I accepted and nothing happened to me :-)

Don’t be so suspicious… Maybe he really is offering to let you sleep in his spare room for the night, especially if you’ve both been drinking and/or you have a long drive home…

@worriedguy Well, we met once and then he asked me how our relationship I would like it and he suggested we would take time and see. But he’s very busy with work, she he texted me a few times since we last met last week saying he was working late so he suggested if I could come to his if it is late then I could stay at his spare room… so I don’t know if it would be one night stand as he wouldn’t suggest spareroom right?!

@Yarnlady I usually go for a few dates in public place before going to a guy place. Sometimes I did on 3rd date if I really liked the guy, but they ended up a short relationship, so I want to be careful from now on.

@rebbel Well, just like to know why he suggested me to stay at his spare room. I know he said it would make it easier for me as his place is close to my work…

@HungryGuy Yeah that could be that too, but then I don’t know him well enough to know what he tries to do…

What do you mean by “Possible.” Of course it is possible… what you should be asking yourself unless of course you have 5 large brothers and Lo-Jack attatched to your ankle,

I wouldnt chalk it up to: TOO SOON!

It’s possible that he’ll use this as an opportunity to make a move on you early in the game. But there’s nothing wrong with sex early on. The idea that all women have to offer is sex, and we need to hold out or there will be no relationship, is old-fashioned. Some people still believe in that, and there are some men who won’t pursue a relationship if you have sex on the first date. I think a relationship with a man like that is a lost cause, whether or not you sleep with him early in the game.

If you decide to stay over, pay attention to how he acts and think of it as a litmus test. He could be making an innocent offer, he could want sex and a relationship, or he could want a one-night stand. Either way, you’ll know pretty soon if you take him up on it. Could be fun.

OTOH, going home with a new guy after only one date might be a safety issue. I’d either wait until you know him longer or at least make sure a trusted friend knows where you are.

@GabrielsLamb Yeah, I think it was a bit too soon… I was expecting a few more dates for coffee or dinning first before getting invited.

@Haleth Thanks! Very true!!! Well, I am a bit old fashioned, I don’t usually go with a guy on first date for sure, even 2nd. But then I was told by few members here that I was giving in sex too soon… I agree some guys wouldn’t pursue if a girl wouldn’t give in the sex as they would they the girl liked him as friend only. It is hard to tell if he was only making an innocent offer or he was seeding for a one night stand. I am more a relationship person and I quite like this guy so I don’t want to mess it up this time. I did reply him saying it was ok to stay over but I could also drive home if it was late. He hasn’t replied me…

I’ve managed to get a girl to stay after the first date on a few occasions.

*sit’s back doing his best to look cool

@tedd Great, so do you usually see these girls after first date??? Just interested to know if it would be more one night casual thing or it could develop into relationship?

@Londongirl One time I met a girl on the internet, we went on a date, wound up going back to my place to watch a movie, and ended up hooking up right there. I dated her for almost a year. Other times, it ends up just being what it is, a hook up.

I would caveat though that us having hooked up so quickly was one of the reasons the relationship didn’t work out in the end (or I think it was anyways).

I usually tell them straight that I am not interested in just hook ups… I’m more a relationship person, but then this guy still invited me to his flat via text to arrange our next meet almost saying will be at his flat… I think he’s kind of testing water to see if I am interested in more than friends? Or just a hint of getting hook up?

Once again, you just met this guy, you barely know him and you still can’t figure out what he or any other guy means by what they say. Please take a step or two back and re-evaluate how you choose the men that you date.

There’s always anecdotal evidence that a man could theoretically tell you that you can sleep in his spare room after one date and not expect a one night stand or quick, cheap sex on the run. If you had a better understanding of how to read people, then it might be OK, but I suspect that this guy sees you as an opportunity to get quick sex, rather than a potential mate (meaning wife/girlfriend).

But you need to pay more attention to what is likely happening. Most likely he’s giving you this sob story about how busy he is and since he knows you are interested in a date with him, he’s making it super easy to convince you that it would be OK for you to sleep over. Then he’ll get you a little tipsy and then you’ll end up sleeping with him. If he was really looking for a real relationship with you or anyone else, he’d be taking it slow, step by step and getting to know you. You don’t get to know people by having dates in the middle of the night and then sleeping over because it’s too late to go home.

First of all, you don’t know this guy AT ALL. You keep saying that you want a real relationship, a long term, comitted, monogamous relationship, yet you keep finding strangers online, and then you agree to date them without getting to know them for any length of time, and you still are un-able to decipher what people really mean when they say something.

You’ve got to do something different. You have to learn how to read people, if you don’t, you’re always going to find yourself in these sticky situations where you have no idea where you stand with any of these guys, and then a week later, you are stunned to find out that they’ve disappeared. You also need to knock off the online dating thing. For some people it can be a great service, but for someone like you, who has a hard enough time reading people that are there, in the flesh and blood, trying to figure out (or get to know someone) online is almost impossible.

You really need to be less desperate and you need to meet real people in the real world. People that have the same interestes and life goals that you do. And to help speed that along, you need to educate yourself. You need to find some way, whether it’s a class or a life coach or a therapist or a helpful experienced female friend/mentor that can teach you. Just hoping that you will eventually figure it out is a fruitless endeavor. And continuing to go onto “anonymous” online dating sites, week after week, year after year is not going to help you.

You have to decide exactly what you want and what is important to you in your life, not just in your dating life, but in your life in general, then figure out other more useful ways to attain your goals. So far, it just seems like you are going around and around in a big circle. I know it can be hard to try something different, and you’ve mentioned before that you took one golf class and it didn’t go well, and so you wrote off the whole idea of trying anything different. That is a self-defeating attitude.

You have to try something different, and sometimes you have to try things more than once, even go through an entire course, to figure out how it works, if it’s right for you and what other alternatives are available. You also need to ask yourself why you are willing to put up with this kind of crap from these silly online guys, when there are plenty of decent guys out there in real life, although at this point it seems like you don’t believe that. That’s because you keep going back to the same place (online dating services) to find men, instead of looking for quality men in lots of the real places that we’ve already suggested to you on your other threads. You need to ask yourself why you reject all of those hundreds of other suggestions. Until you can answer these questions for yourself (not for me or any of the other Jellies) you will find yourself stuck in this rut.

@Londongirl Listen to @Kardamom . She is the voice of reason.