Do you feel this *See details, is necessary or acceptible behavior when people refuse to listen?
When you attempt to explain your feelings to someone concerning the way they have hurt, insulted, or maligned you, do you resort to doing it back to them, knowing it is wrong when words have no effect on their conscience? Is this normal and natural and more importantly is it really necessary?
If you think about it, we project love, return and give love in the ways we know someone understands our feelings in doing so, and make all sorts of plesant exchanges in that we return love with love and that is deemed perfectly acceptible but what about when someone hurts you and either refuses to listen, or just doesn’t care?
Is this tit for tat behavior biased? And is it right to make someone understand what they have done by doing it to them so that they have an understanding of exactly what they did by evidence.
I tend to do that, if I hurt you… You thereby have proof positive of exactly the way and measure of how very much you first hurt me, in what way and to what extent.
I find it effective as a tool, for these types of selfish, self righteous, sociopathic tools who don’t care, or don’t hear you when words become useless and therefore resolve nothing.
Knowing perfectly well that this is not deemed socially acceptible… Should it be? Yes or no? and do you have a better way of dealing with someone like this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-86OH2JREQ
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9 Answers
Rather than do it to them, I try to put it in ways that they will understand. “Well, how would you feel if you came up to me in a bar and I was letting some guy paw me all over?”
Needless to say… It is very difficult for me to just walk away and “let it go” YOU MUST UNDERSTAND ME OR ELSE! ROFLMAO!
I used to, but I have been very introspective of late. When I realize someone is insulting me or someone else, they become very small in my eyes, and I just wonder what might be going on in their head that is making them so ugly.
People are usually very emotional when they are insulting, so I change the topic to a logic fact based conversation or leave if it is directed at me.
If it is directed at somebody else, I do get very upset, and will emotionally destroy them until it stops.
I particularly find this a problem when an oppressed group does it to another oppressed group.
Tit for tat is recognized as one of the best game theory strategies for moving towards a more cooperative relationship.
Not to do wrong but to help them not to do it in the future to others.
But if they refuse to listen .. well I can’t really force them. Sometimes I do “force” them but with no result since they will do whatever they want in the end.
@GabrielsLamb, to me it would depend on the depth of the relationship. With folks that you are lifers with by reason of family relationship, etc. you absolutely need to get your borders sorted out with them. Sometimes people just push our buttons and the response comes from the gut not a reasoned out response. This is so dangerous, probably a big contributor to domestic violence. Now if this is a work mate or some relationship like that, then the contact needs to be reduced to courteous business only. I sense somehow you are talking here about a close relationship?
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