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6rant6's avatar

What should we say to extraterrestrials who ask?

Asked by 6rant6 (13609 points ) October 3rd, 2011

Here’s the premise for the question: an alien society has made contact with the people of the earth. Someone (you were not consulted) has decided to respond to their question: What information do you have that would be of value to us?

For reasons I cannot comprehend, they come to you for advice on what we should respond. You are not the only one who is asked, and if you decline to lend your voice, they will just move on to someone else.

What would you advise?

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44 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Answer: “Are you proposing that we share?”

Seek's avatar

I would advise that the question is silly. How could we possibly know what would be of value to them, if we know nothing about them?

I would also advise that “they” begin making plans to hide and protect the people of Earth. An alien race that shows up and makes demands instead of asking questions (“What do you have for us?” as opposed to “Have you discovered warp travel yet?”) can’t be out for our best interests.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

“We know how to make excellent blueberry pancakes.”

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate LOL With my luck, I would say something like that and verbatum, in their language it translates as “Please cut off my legs at the knees and then kick me in the ass.”

Blackberry's avatar

Please leave, the majority of our species is quite ignorant and full of fear. We can not coexist peacefully.

YoBob's avatar

Dave’s not here man…

Seek's avatar

^ ROFL!

But I AM DAVE!

CWOTUS's avatar

I know what a Perfecto Fish is.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Dr. Stephen Hawking has advised against talking to extraterrestrials. I’m going to follow his advice.

6rant6's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake Scootching the jelly, my friend. An answer will be given. Your options are to help shape it or not.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@6rant6 : I’m going to follow Dr. Hawking’s advice and not answer.

CWOTUS's avatar

@Hawaii_Jake I’m with you. I’m not telling anyone what a Perfecto Fish is… I’m just saying “I know”. Maybe they’ll keep me alive and ply me with wine and women in a futile attempt to find out. Or maybe they’ll just torture the hell out of me in the same attempt. In the end it amounts to the same, I guess.

Coloma's avatar

If you’re here to destroy us, please only destroy the character flawed types…give the good people a chance to recolonize and change the destiny of earth.
And, btw…if you have any designs on my geese as food or bedding material…I will drown you in the wading pools and bury you in the weeds. lol

zenvelo's avatar

“Don’t listen to those Rush fans, Beatles and Stones are the best.”

poisonedantidote's avatar

“50 billion terabytes of digitalized earthling porn. Now… lets talk about what you know regarding replicator technology”

wundayatta's avatar

Tell us more about yourselves. We have no idea what might be useful to you. Why don’t you come join us for lunch on Tuesday. Let’s talk!

gondwanalon's avatar

If the extraterrestrials can understand any our languages then they likely already know the answer to their question. If that is case then we’d already be SOL. But I would tell the E.T.’s to prove that they mean no harm by staying out side of our planetary system.

zensky's avatar

We have Fluther. What do you have?

Bluefreedom's avatar

“You’ve probably been observing us for a long time now and have some general ideas that we’re a pretty messed up planet. It’s true that we have a lot of problems on earth and with the human race in general but understand that we have the capacity to change and be better and if you’d like to give us a chance and help us improve, we’d really like the opportunity for that.”

redfeather's avatar

Talk to them via interpretive dance. Just break it down and let them take it as they would.

Nullo's avatar

Evangelization!
I think it would be all kinds of awesome to find out that there were Christian aliens, a la Out of the Silent Planet / Perelandra.

Seek's avatar

@Nullo You haven’t gone Mormon on us, have you?

Qingu's avatar

@Nullo, don’t forget magic Christian talking animals in other dimensions, too. With their own magic lion Jesus who died for the magic animals’ sins.

redfeather's avatar

Eff, people. Don’t let religion talk/bashing mess up a fun question.

Nullo's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Oh no. Lewis was Catholic. The idea is that God must have created any other life in the universe (He’s not the sort to be upstaged by His own creation), must care for them as much as He does us. Either they are as yet un-fallen (Perelandra), perhaps due to some cosmographical restrictions on Satanic operations, and so walk with God naturally, or they’d be in an arrangement similar to our own.
Unless you want to go into whether or not the aliens are actually fallen angels themselves. I’m going with your run-of-the-mill extraterrestrial.

<nerd>
@Qingu In your throes of condescension you’ve forgotten that Aslan died for Edmund, not the animals.
</nerd>

Qingu's avatar

ACTUALLY, the way I remember it, Aslan died because kids from another world, in a fit of curiosity, broke the seal imprisoning an evil sorceress on yet another world, who then eventually found her way into Narnia and spewed original sin on the denizens there.

Magician’s Nephew has the most incomprehensible theodicy in any belief system, real or fictional.

Seek's avatar

Eew… Narnia.

janbb's avatar

“Move along ET. Nothing interesting to see here.”

King_Pariah's avatar

We have tempur pedic mattresses. Kneel in awe of it’s awesome comfiness… We also have bikini mud wrestling.

Nullo's avatar

@Qingu That was the initial cause, yes. The part where he actually died, however, was part of a prisoner exchange in LWW.
Lewis was trying to adapt a complicated concept for a children’s book, of course it’s not going to be perfect.

@Seek_Kolinahr Yes, Narnia. A good story, if you aren’t allergic to Christianity.

Seek's avatar

I hated Narnia when I was a nine-year old Catholic. ‘Course, I had just finished “The Return of the King” when the teacher shoved “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe” down my throat.

Aslan < Aragorn.

janbb's avatar

I loved them both and don’t see a need to choose between them. (But then I was just such a naive little Jewish girl that I thought a lion was a lion.)

Hibernate's avatar

I’d tell them we just found out we have something that’s faster than the speed of light.
Read here

Qingu's avatar

Lewis had issues. The saddest thing about those books is in Magician’s Nephew, when the kid’s mother was dying. He finds a magic life-restoring apple in another world, and at first Aslan is like “I don’t think you can take this back to earth.” But then he changes his mind, the kid brings back the apple, and his mom is saved. It’s sad because Lewis’ mother died when he was young, and God didn’t send him a magic apple to cure her. You can see how he struggled with the theological implications in the text of the book, with Aslan’s apparent reticence; but in the end Lewis’ fictional God is a much more active and kind-hearted character than the real-world God he believes in.

Ivan's avatar

Any species capable of developing the technology necessary to discover our planet, travel to it, and then find a way to communicate with us probably doesn’t need our help.

6rant6's avatar

@ivan Maybe we should send a list of things we need. That’s probably information they don’t have.

ucme's avatar

I’d tell them to go visit Roswell, look up some old friends, shoot the breeze have a few beers.
Reunions are such emotional occasions.

rojo's avatar

“No. The bathroom is for customers only.”

RocketGuy's avatar

Thanks for the fish…

perspicacious's avatar

Don’t eat too many chile peppers; you’ll really be sorry in the morning.

Brian1946's avatar

If they were beings made out of pancakes, I’d say, “Flee this planet before you’re drowned in syrup and probed with utensils! If you don’t leave, the ultimate result will be North Americans falling through the North American plate due to the sheer force of their combined body masses!”

ragingloli's avatar

An extensive list of methods to kill humans most efficiently and swiftly.

Symbeline's avatar

Look what we did to Jesus.

Get on outta here, man.

Akua's avatar

No matter how sincere we may appear, we can offer you nothing. Our fears will kill you and our officiousness will have you strapped to a lab table being dissected.

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