Nope. Well… Kinda, but I have only had two.
The first one was for revenge on an ex who liked to break up in order to be able to cheat, and then get back together when he was done. So I did it to him to see how he liked it. But the person was a friend, and we were already familiar with one another and comfortable together so that wasn’t bad. He helped me out, and I appreciated it and we were still friends afterward and never did it again.
The other one was just because I felt like it, and I didn’t even like the guy nor was I in any way attracted to him (another reason I did it actually because I wanted to see if I could get turned on by someone who for all intents and purposes is NOT an attractive man). I did, and it was strange, but interesting.
I had always for my whole life before that believed that sexual attraction has to have some emotional bond there in order for it to mean something, I was therefore under the very false impression that a man loved a woman even a little if he was haivng sex with her.
I did what I did, in order to know that. And I learned by demonstration as well as by example that people do NOT need to have any kind of emotional ties or bonds to get excited, they don’t have to be attractive even, sometimes a good fuck is just that, a good fuck… and before then, I had allowed some people I was involved with to take advantage of me because I was telling myself that they had to care about me, which was allowing them to get over on me by playing on that belief.
Now… because I had a meaningless one night stand with an ugly guy… I know that isn’t true anymore and no man will EVER be able to lie to me and stroke my ego and mess with my emotions ever again because liars lie and people will use you indescriminately if you let them.
It was kind of freeing in a way to be with him. I never called him again, nor did I have any sort of desire to, and he never called me again. it was lovely!
It was just something stupid and crazy that I did to see what it was like. It wasn’t all it’s supposedly cracked up to be but I learned something from it that only I could have taught myself.
There isn’t any telling or advice that the human heart WANTS to believe when it comes to wanting to believe that you are loved or will be loved if you allow or concent to it, as a good enough reason to have sex.
It isn’t… and it is best to just not do it at all, (If love is the objective) until you KNOW there is love… not just hear it the words and assume. It took me 40 years and a one night stand to learn that lesson. I at one time honestly believe that someone had to like you in order to sleep with you and want something more, in order to engage.
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