Social Question

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Have you ever been falsely accused of being something deemed socially negative?

Asked by GabrielsLamb (6156 points ) October 10th, 2011

Has anyone ever accused you of being something you’re not?

People accuse me of the following things…

They say I am a bigot and a racist (Which I am not)

They call me a pervert (Because I saw someone younger than me).

They call me a whore (For having PRIVATE relations with someone I assumed at the time was my boyfriend). Which are none of anyone else’s business really.
*How would you like it if you had the world in your bedroom?

They call me a hateful person (when I’m really just angry for being constantly called all of the above by people who rather than ask, just blindly assume for their own amusement.)

And of course finally to ice the cake I get called a liar to negate anything I might say to defend myself.

How do you stop people from calling you things that you aren’t? What do you do when nobody will allow you to prove them wrong?

Alot of the time I find myself getting into baited conversations because nobody can just come right out and ask me a decent normal question, which causes problems sometimes because we’re only human, and they believe I am stupid and don’t see it coming; It’s not right and I wish they would all stop. They really do not know what you’re talking about.

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27 Answers

Soupy's avatar

Yep. Whore, devil worshipper, immoral, communist… It sucks. There will always be little sh*ts who feel like they are above you, and will bait you with loaded questions for kicks. These are the kinds of people who will never be convinced, and who you don’t need to be around. Just ignore them, or mess with them right back if you’re feeling antagonistic. Surround yourself with people who aren’t asshats, and keep your association with the others minimal.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Good advice soupy… I will take it, and thank You!

XOIIO's avatar

Well once someone bitched me out for saying nuclear holocost, because apparently it was insesitive, and what does nuclear war have to do with nazis

wtf?

GabrielsLamb's avatar

Huh? That’s just a weirdo… I wouldn’t worry about it. Consider the source and be done with that. Unless of course you mentioned Hitler, killing, and children in the same sentence… Then I might have bitched you out too. LOL

XOIIO's avatar

Lol Yeah, people these days *shakes head *

Hibernate's avatar

I am called a lot of things. I do not bother to listen to every thing others say about me or else I’d have to spend my whole day listening to these things.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’ve been accused of child abuse, neglect, animal cruelty, and being a thief. If you know me even a tiny bit, you know these accusations are so far out there that there isn’t a chance in hell that they have even a grain of truth. (And just in case anyone is concerned, yes they were investigated by the proper authorities and I have been officially cleared of any such nonsense.)

It’s a horrible feeling to be accused of something awful when you know you haven’t done anything wrong. Especially things that blatantly attack your character. Some people will say anything to get what they want, I’ve learned. It’s sad.

ragingloli's avatar

I was once accused by my primary school teacher of stealing chocolate out of the classroom’s christmas calendar.
she did not survive

XOIIO's avatar

@ragingloli I can picture you with your avatars expression saying “nooo…”

XD

woodcutter's avatar

Mmm ya. I thought baby killer was fucked up but that time it was easy to consider the source.

Joker94's avatar

Yeah, some girl last year told everybody I sexually assaulted her. No joke. Once people saw how terrible she is, though, they started to realize that this claim was utter bullshit.

TexasDude's avatar

Most of my middle school career was spent fighting off people who called me gay, “fag,” “queer,” and a host of other horrible homophobic slurs because I was seen as slightly effeminate and because I actually behaved and excelled at my work.

I’ve also gotten a lot of shit for being perceived as some kind of heathen, too, but that’s a different story entirely.

YoBob's avatar

Heck, being a (mostly) white male living in the south I get accused of all manner of things from racism to bigotry on a regular basis. Funny thing is, I don’t have a racist bone in my body, some of my best friends are gay, and count among my social contacts more than a few who practice less than main stream “religions”. Alas, being one of “those evil white guys” with a right leaning political philosophy, I am often assumed to be a fundamentalists, homophobic “Tea party” member who despises anyone that doesn’t share my skin color.

Lucky for me, I gave up giving a crap about what other people think about me quite some time ago.

cazzie's avatar

I got bullied at school. I wasn’t ‘cool’ because I actually cared about my work and tried to get good grades. I was small, non-athletic and well spoken. I would come home crying and my mom would tell me. ‘These kids saying this stuff, are they your friends.?’ I’d say.. no… ‘These kids saying these things things, are they important to you at all?’ I’d say .. no… ‘Well, then. Why do you care what they say about you, honey? You need to consider the source of who’s saying these things. If they are of no consequence, then neither is their opinion.’ And I could go to school the next day and hold my head up and I NEVER engaged them in defence of myself. To me, THEY were doing the indefensible by picking on someone, spreading lies and trying to ‘straighten them out’ was pointless, because they don’t want the truth. If they cared about the truth they would talk to me like a normal human being. They want someone to pick on so they can feel better about themselves.

That was high school. I now count some of those bullies as friends because we all grew up and got over the crap that goes around in school. (Not all of the bullies, mind you…)

woodcutter's avatar

So what’s wrong with being a fuckin heathen?

Scooby's avatar

All the time :-/ I just treat them with the contempt they deserve……………

GabrielsLamb's avatar

<—————Is a very Happy Heathen! @woodcutter

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@YoBob I swear to Jeebus if one more person calls me a bigot I’m gonna find a Bigot and punch them in their ventromedial prefrontal cortex.

*Bigots of course NEED to be punched in their ventromedial prefrontal cortex so you know… This is hypothetical physical violence not actual physical violence before any troll-mouths get any more bright ideas.

YoBob's avatar

LIfe’s to short to waste your time punching idiots in their ventromedial prefrontal cortex. At best you will damage what little brains they might have in there, and lord knows those types don’t have any to spare.

It’s kind of like that old saying: “Don’t waste your time trying to teach a horse to talk. It will only frustrate you and annoy the horse.”

DominicX's avatar

@GabrielsLamb So, just curious….why do people call you a bigot or a racist so often? I can’t remember a time where I was ever called that. I’m not saying you are, but if happens frequently, there must be some reason why, right? It can’t just come out of nowhere…or does it?

wundayatta's avatar

I’m afraid the trick is not to get into these situations in the first place. However, if you do, the best thing to do is confess to the truth.

When we do things of this nature, it hurts others. Sometimes for legitimate reasons and other times because of social convention. We live in a shame-based society. You will be shamed if people find out you have done things they disapprove of.

Well, you may not necessarily be shamed if you confess in an anonymous place online. Or it may be more tolerable. I have done things most people think are bad, and I have spoken of them here (more because I want people to know, than to confess). Sometimes people accuse me of something more than I have spoken about, and if it’s true, I will agree. There’s no need to hide—especially if you already have a reputation for sleaze.

So I guess I’m not really going to help you since I have only been truthfully accused of doing something deemed socially negative. I try not to hurt people, including myself. Sometimes it seems to be one or the other. Most of my life I’ve chosen the other person. That did not work out so well. So sometimes now I let myself choose myself. Yes. I am selfish.

Brian1946's avatar

The year was 1965. I was sitting on a table where the “popular” students hung out.

I saw a girl I knew walking by and I asked her, “Hey Maureen, how’s CORE (Congress of Racial Equality, a civil rights organization)?”.

Her answer was something like, “It’s fine. How’s the KKK?”.

I think she’d been harassed by some of the reactionary “popular” students before, so I understood her reaction and I didn’t take it personally.

@GabrielsLamb

Where are you encountering these people?

YARNLADY's avatar

If anybody has called me any of those things, I don’t know about it. One of my daughters in law called the MIL from hell, but she has similar issues with everyone she knows, so that doesn’t count.

One person who was convicted of stalking and spent 5 years in a mental facility published false accusations against me, but I don’t think anyone actually believed it. The weird thing about that one is I never met the person involved, and didn’t even know her until the false accusations appeared on the internet.

fizzbanger's avatar

A nose-picker. Ah, second grade.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@YARNLADY I had a person in another thread accuse me of “Abandoning her” and lying saying I was her friend, and went on a tyrade as to how I should have treated our friendship better.”

I have never seen her before in my life.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Brian1946 Life in general.

@dominik Because there was a time when I was misinformed and expressed myself in a way that people assumed was being racist and a bigot. I have strong opinions on race relations that many people don’t agree with.

I don’t put the seriousness of it, or tend to believe that it is as uncommon an event as people like to believe it is in privacies as most people claim they maintain in their goodness and humanity. I think a lot of it is bullshit. I think a lot of it is leading the crowd, and I think many people make an extreme and unnecessary issue of things that are intended to more define themselves than solve anything or treat anything by it.

Therefore because of my opinions, and because they are not widely accepted as meaningful by those who might rather jump on a public bandwagon to look like better people, I opt instead to be a realist concerning it and not use it as some platform to better define a social llusion.

I tend to be vocal about my beliefs, and I made the mistake at one time in beliveing that people we accepting of those things. Mostly they are not, and they merely want people to shut up and agree with everything everyone else believes for the sake of some continuity and social herding into one unified mindset.

People aren’t generally allowed to have contrasting feelings, and when you fail them in agreeing with their resolve, they hate you for it.

That’s how it happened… not to mention It was publically used against me on purpose by someone who actually IS a racist to cover over the nasty things they did to me, when you seek to discredit another person, you use the things that will make other people hate you, so that you can stand behind the crowd and make yourself a megaphone to guide the hate.

It was an easy target, just something they knew everyone would hate me for so they went with it as a distraction away from all of the nasty things they do and made an example out of me unfairly.

You know when a hateful mob get’s organized, there is no reasoning with them. That was the idea.

Scooby's avatar

@GabrielsLamb,,,,, Been there! :-/

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