Social Question

silverfly's avatar

Men, if you had the ability to conceive a child and your wife didn't, would you?

Asked by silverfly (4027 points ) October 12th, 2011

Let’s just say that your wife can’t give birth, but you can for some strange cosmic reason. There are no abnormal health risks, and everything is expected to go as well as it can with a normal [female] pregnancy (no side effects from being a man). Would you do it? Explain.

Women, what would you say or do if the above scenario were true?

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64 Answers

digitalimpression's avatar

Hell yeah I would. Of course, I’d immediately regret my decision when the time came.. but I’d survive and flourish off the profits of being the first man to ever squirt out a toddler.

wonderingwhy's avatar

If we wanted kids sure, I don’t see any reason not to. The bias is one of biology, if that weren’t the case, and all things being equal, I don’t see any other meaningful reason for it to exist.

Bluefreedom's avatar

Probably not. I had a kidney stone several years back and the nurse in the ER told me “the pain your feeling is the closest a man will ever get to feeling what a woman does when she gives birth”. That was pretty sobering and increased the already high degree of respect I have for women regarding what they go through in childbirth.

tom_g's avatar

Of course I would. However, I have such a low tolerance for pain, I would probably be a complete mess. I’d also probably become a huge advocate for adoption.

marinelife's avatar

I’d want him to consult with me before getting pregnant, but sure, why not?

wundayatta's avatar

It’s easy to say I would because it could never happen. Still, I would. If I loved someone and she couldn’t have a child and I really wanted to parent with her, I would do it in a second if it were possible. To me, making a child is the most creative and amazing thing there is in life. It is the greatest gift there is. In fact, it wouldn’t take me a second; it would take a nanosecond to make that decision.

I’ve been in a place where I couldn’t have a child. I know the pain that causes. It’s a completely different kind of pain compared to the pain of childbirth, but incurring the pain of childbirth is a small price to pay to overcome the pain of childlessness.

fundevogel's avatar

@digitalimpression That title has already been claimed.

cookieman's avatar

No (and neither did my wife). We chose to adopt. My sudden ability to get pregnant wouldn’t change that decision. We’d adopt again.

There’s enough homeless children in the world as it is. That’s all we need is pregnant guys adding to the mix.

Certainly would settle the abortion debate right quick, now wouldn’t it?

Teja's avatar

Absolutely not. But that’s only because I’m an ignorant 20 something. Ask me in 10+ years and I’m sure the answer will change

silverfly's avatar

@fundevogel Holy moly, I had no idea. Where’s the cancel button for this question? :)

JLeslie's avatar

If my husband could carry our baby I would be thrilled. I am surprised any man would not do it because of the pain of childbirth, that can be controlled to some extent, and it is temporary. I am sure my husband would be willing to do it also.

I would guess some men would not want to because of the weight gain, or the disruption, having to not drink or be more careful about certain things while pregnant, the inconvenience. But, some women feel that way also. Health risk is always in my mind, but the question said there is no major health risk for the purposes of this question.

fundevogel's avatar

@silverfly Well it’s still the capabilities of most men, no need back out.

Blackberry's avatar

Nope, I would still adopt.

JLeslie's avatar

@Blackberry So if your wife could have children you would still adopt? I am confused by the answers regarding adoption.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I don’t think I’d want to deal with my husband pregnant. No thanks.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Veridain Dynamics is working on it. ~

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@worriedguy That is NOT real… Is that an SNL skit or something? GTFOH

Ahhh ha ha ha haaaa haaa a aaa *Cough.

Blackberry's avatar

@JLeslie Oops. I should have said I would just adopt.

thesparrow's avatar

Guys are such babies. Especially if they’re sick. I wouldn’t want to have to deal with a man being pregnant.

Grow a vagina. Not balls.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@thesparrow ”...grow a vagina, those things take a pounding!”

wundayatta's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf Not if the “owner” doesn’t want them to!

tom_g's avatar

My wife gave birth to our 3 children without pain medication of any kind – two of those were home births. I can hardly handle a splinter or bee sting. There is a reason women are the ones who are pregnant.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@wundayatta it’s a Betty White quote floating around on the internet. “Why do people say ‘grow some balls?’ Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina, those things take a pounding!”

thesparrow's avatar

Then again if someone asked me to work 60 hrs a week to support a family I probably wouldn’t be able to do that. There’s a reason men are the way they are, too.

thesparrow's avatar

Mind you, nowadays most women are working 60 hrs a week to support the family AND raising children

Blackberry's avatar

Mind you, men and women are both equal in the sense that our pros and cons even out.

ucme's avatar

Absolutely, without hesitation. Yes I know it’s easy to say, knowing it’s biologically impossible, but hey, take my word for it.
One small condition though, a section is paramount in my thoughts, I mean, where the hell else is it coming out of :¬(

BoyWonder's avatar

A man’s body is not designed to carry a child. Where the heck would the fetus grow? It’s “expected” to go well? Expected by whom? Uh, no thanks.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

No. I’d want a child conceived how God and nature really intended it to, by a woman.

silverfly's avatar

@ucme It would come out of your penis. Would you still do it? :)

DominicX's avatar

@silverfly That sounds…awful…(cue intense shudder)...

But I’d maybe want to do it, as a gay guy, if it were possible. I mean, it would be pretty cool if two men could have a baby together…

ucme's avatar

@silverfly As I said i’d be having a section. Having a baby’s head emerge from my dick simply isn’t an option I even want to consider thanks :¬(

silverfly's avatar

@ucme Aw, you’re no fun. ::laughs:: I’m with you on that one.

ucme's avatar

@silverfly If that freak of nature were possible, there’d be no trouble in finding a name for a boy, John Thomas immediately springs to mind.

wundayatta's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf I got it the first time. All I was saying is that for some women, the pounding is a bit much (soreness and whatnot), so they stop engaging in the pounding behavior. Not every woman takes a “pounding.”

fundevogel's avatar

@silverfly “It would come out of your penis. Would you still do it?”

That’s pretty much how it works for spotted hyenas.

silverfly's avatar

@worriedguy @fundevogel How on earth do you guys find this stuff!

cookieman's avatar

@JLeslie: It’s simple. My wife and I, to the best of our knowledge, are capable of getting pregnant. We simply chose to adopt instead given the amount of homeless children in the world.

If I could suddenly, magically, carry a baby, my feelings wouldn’t change. I’d still want to adopt.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I would love nothing more than for my husband to carry and birth a child.

silverfly's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir My wife would want the same. She’d tie me down to impregnate me if it was possible – the impregnating, not the tying down. :)

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@silverfly Yeah, I wouldn’t have to resort to that. He wishes he could.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@GabrielsLamb It’s from a show called “Better off Ted” about a mythical company called Veridian Dynamics. It was very cleverly done and really hits home if you happen to be in that business.

augustlan's avatar

[mod says] This is our Question of the Day!

digitalimpression's avatar

@fundevogel Not sure what crazy world you live in where a Transgender person is a man. You do live on earth right?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@digitalimpression Must be the same world where my family and friends live in – a trans person that identifies as a man is a man.

fundevogel's avatar

I totally live in @Simone_De_Beauvoir ‘s world.

thesparrow's avatar

Nowadays people always complain about the slightest inconvenience. Remember that 100 years ago, many women died just giving birth. Now we have pain medication to make the birth easier, fertility treatments, etc… and people still complain.

My mom and grandma had children without any complaint whatsoever. No post-partum ‘depression,’ either.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@thesparrow Hi, I know you didn’t just imply that postpartum depression doesn’t exist. Your mom and grandma do not a generalization about entire sex make.

thesparrow's avatar

I don’t think they had time for post-partum. 3 months after the baby was born my grandma was required to go back to work because this was during communism. They had a state-funded day-care that looked after babies.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@thesparrow Funny, my mother and grandmother grew up in countries that were part of Communist Russia – they remember quite well that what we now constitute as postpartum depression (even if they didn’t have a name for it) occurred for many women because, obviously, for some of us it had to do with purely biological reasons. I didn’t have pospartum depression because I had free time, I had it because my labor was so intense, my body was unable to ever fully recover.

thesparrow's avatar

It has to do a lot with your psychology, personality and chemistry. I get that. People who have never been depressed will never get it.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@thesparrow Right, so if you get that…how can you claim that at some point women didn’t experience it?

JLeslie's avatar

@sparrow back in the day in America, not sure about Russia, women usually stayed in the hospital many more days after the birth and those who had short lived depressions could deal more easily because they didn’t have to care for the baby as much, the nurse at the hospital helped care for the baby, and there was no laundry to do or food to cook. My grandmother had a nursemaid at home for two weeks when she first came home with the baby to help around the houseand with the baby. She was not wealthy, she was middle class, I am not sure how customary that was back then. Even saying all that I think the depression is likely mostly hormonal, with some situational anxiety thrown in.

thesparrow's avatar

@JLeslie Ya, I think my grandma had the same thing. I’m pretty sure they had a lot of help, and like you said, state-sponsored nurses. I tend to get bouts of sadness sometimes but I’ve never been legitimately depressed. It’s important to have people to support you; people you know and trust like your loved one and family.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JLeslie That is true – not only did they stay in the hospital for awhile, they had milkmaids to give their babies breastmilk until their own milk came in. Can you imagine how mad that must sound to Americans? Ugh, have my baby drink another woman’s breastmilk? Ew, like so gross. Ew, ‘cause designer c-sections aren’t.

thesparrow's avatar

It’s communism man. State raises your kids, state takes your kids. Read the Republic.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@thesparrow Actually, communism never existed as Marx developed it. Read his Selected Writings and Capital. I read the Republic, doesn’t mean we can’t critique some versions of capitalism or communism (as people have attempted it).

JLeslie's avatar

@thesparrow My grandmother was born in the United States, her children were born here too.it happens her father was Russian, Mother was Latvian I think, but that is just a coincidence.

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thesparrow's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Communism was supposed to happen in Germany and England where it wouldn’t have led to extreme poverty and lack of resources.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@thesparrow It was supposed to happen in a capitalistic society that has self-destructed.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Immersing myself in the spirit of the question, if we had talked about it before hand and decided TOGETHER not to have children, then I would have the child but give it up for adoption. Sucking it out WOULD NEVER BE AN OPTION. Then again, we would never be together if children were not on the table. If we had decided to have children when we got together and she changed her mind, then she would just have to live with it or leave because I would have and keep the child.

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