Is it possible to avoid turning into my grandmother?

Seeing yourself in the mirror of another person and recognizing yourself even when the picture isn’t pretty is one of the very best ways to counter your own similar tendencies.

If you think there’s some real pathology there, or even just a very strong negative behavioral pattern, some therapy might help. I think your own awareness is your best defense.

Is either of your parents able to be your ally in confronting these concerns about yourself? Perhaps the one whose mother she is might have some valuable insights; perhaps the other one might offer a helpful perspective.

And yes, you can change your behavior. What a gift that would be to your son.

@Jeruba I figured recognizing and admitting my issues is a good first step in correcting them. When I start to act a certain way, I am aware of it, but many times I lack the self control to stop. That’s her issue also. We let our emotion completely consume us. Then after the damage is done, we regret it. I worry I won’t be able to change my ways and I’ll continue to get worse until one day I wake up and I’m her.

I take it your grandmother was around a lot as you were raised? Your behavior is based on what was modeled for you. It is possible to break the pattern, to change for a different behavior, but it does take work with a good therapist.

Seeing your behavior is the first part of changing. You are well on your way.

@zenvelo Yes, she was around a lot in the beginning of my life. During my late teens I started to distance myself because I started to notice her destructive ways. My mother also shows some characteristics of her but would never admit it.

Yes, you can change. Start by slowing down. Listen more. Take a deep breath before you blurt out something. In that two seconds, you can decide if what you wanted to say could be hurtful, negative, or unnecessary. Then change your response or don’t respond.
I have ADHD and noticed that I was interrupting people frequently. I stopped to listen before sticking in my two cents and stopped interrupting, unless it was really urgent. It almost never was.
You do NOT have to turn out like your grandmother. My mother threw temper tantrums. I did not. Realize that you control who you are.
Good luck.

Acknowledging the problem is the first step to fixing it. If you have the means to see a therapist and can find one you click with, take advantage of it. If she is bipolar there is a small chance you inherited it. This is more treatable now than any time in history.
If you are willing to do the work you can create your own future of your choosing.

Being as though you are aware of your behavior pattern changing for the worse,is your best chance of avoiding it. If you feel as though intervention surgery will help you then go for it NOW.