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pkuttner's avatar

What is the baby shower etiquette around long distance friends/relatives?

Asked by pkuttner (150 points ) October 28th, 2011

My husband and I moved to a new city a few years ago and left MANY close friends and family behind. We miss them dearly and visit regularly. We have made new friends in our new city and have some family here too. Now I am due to give birth to my first child. My mother-in-law lives close by me and is throwing us a baby shower. It is up to me to get the guest list and invites together. What is the etiquette around inviting friends who you KNOW will not be able to travel the long distance to the shower? I know that they will want to give me a baby gift. Do I send them an invite anyway so that they have the info for my registry? Is it rude to send invites with registry info to people who you are almost certain will not take a weekend off, buy a plane ticket and trek across the country?? Should I keep the invites local??

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5 Answers

marinelife's avatar

You could casually mention your shower in an email with a note saying, “I know it is really far, but if you could make it, we would love to invite you.”

Cupcake's avatar

I planned on inviting far out of town people to my baby shower, but ended up feeling really greedy. I’ll compensate with birth announcements.

Point is – do whatever you’re comfortable with.

fluthernutter's avatar

If it’s an evite, I would just invite everyone. They’ll be able to see your guest list (with other out-of-town guests also declining) and realize the invite is more gesture than expectation.

If it’s a snail mail invite, I’d only invite local friends, family and close friends. For those that probably won’t be able to make it, I’d include a little handwritten note to the effect of:

I know you probably won’t be able to make it for the shower,
but I know you’d make it in spirit. Miss you, pkuttner.

I wouldn’t include registry information. Gifts can sometimes sidetrack what a baby shower should really be about. Those that really care will either ask or figure it out themselves.

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JLeslie's avatar

Invite them. Some might come you never know. Don’t include the registry information.

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