Social Question

poopnest's avatar

How do you deal with a negative coworker who gets grumpy, judgmental, and says hurtful things about customers and you all day long?

Asked by poopnest (261 points ) October 29th, 2011

I have a coworker who is very judgmental and I find it draining. I just don’t want to feel my mental and physical energy dwindling anymore. Some days I have felt sick to my stomach just because of being trapped at work with this person all day.

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12 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

Does the coworker behave this way towards customers? Does the boss notice? Have you told the boss?

Find a new job. That’s really the only thing you have control over.

Nullo's avatar

That can be me, on a bad day (though I don’t usually grouse about people on my side of the counter unless their screw-ups have a direct and detrimental effect on me). The guy does not like his line of work. You might suggest that he consider a new job. Or say, “I understand that you’re not happy here, but your constant complaining is really starting to bother me. It’s downright fatiguing. Would you please contain yourself, at least while we work together?”

marinelife's avatar

One possibility is to tell your supervisor that this person’s negative attitude and talking is really pulling you down.

The other thing you can do is to tell them: “Please don’t badmouth the customers and especially don’t badmouth me. it is very draining. Think before you speak, and if you can’t say something positive, don’t say anything at all.”

wonderingwhy's avatar

Earplugs. Though informing management, looking for new work, or just telling them to keep it to themselves (to whatever degree of civility you believe appropriate – though more is likely better) are all probably better and more useful solutions in the long run.

You can also just say “Funny, I never have problems like that.” maybe they’ll get the hint.

YARNLADY's avatar

I complained to my supervisor about a worker like that and found out her husband had a stroke which meant she had to go back to work after she had supposedly retired, and she had chronic issues with home-care providers.

Moral: Don’t you be the judgmental one, try to feel some compassion for others.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Tell that person not to talk about around you. Where I work, that’s a daily occurrence from several co workers. My mom tells them flat out to stay away from her and/or keep it to themselves while I’ve been less confrontational and ended up very frustrated. It’s tough to put your foot down and speak out but if you feel you’ll have support from management then go for it. Trust me, being that frustrated to where you don’t want to be at your job isn’t fair and it will suck more and more.

woodcutter's avatar

Tell that person you’ve been fantasizing about killing them, in fact it’s all you think about.

john65pennington's avatar

You could tape record her comments and let your supervisor heard the tape. He may frown at this persons attitude toward customers and you.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I should add that for the longest time, about 2yrs then I didn’t ever go to my mgrs. about a troublesome co worker and I would pretty much ignore them and feign indifference to them but it never amounted to them letting up on me. When a situation was so bad a fellow co worker went to mgt. and said I was being harassed, my mgrs. asked me why I hadn’t ever complained to them? I told them as the person on the bottom of the heap, I wasn’t about to go up against a top money maker for them. After that, they started writing the offensive co worker up and eventually he got fired.

Go speak up now but make sure you have specific instances that management will qualify as harassment.

poopnest's avatar

I appreciate all of this feedback. It has been helpful to see what you all think and I thank you. I think I will mention it to my manager and point out a couple of the thing my coworker is saying to my manager and then mention it to my coworker if my manager supports that idea. My coworker is very good at his job and an asset because of the knowledge & experience. I’d really hate to put one of the best workers (negativity aside) jobs in jeopardy but I cannot tolerate it anymore or continue to be a good sport because the negativity has rubbed of on customers and me. This really sucks a lot because I has so much more respect for this person. Maybe it’s the holiday season bringing out the worst. Sigh.

poopnest's avatar

I’ve been looking at what jobs are out there but haven’t applied to any yet. I hope this all pans out.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Let us know what happens.

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