Social Question

zensky's avatar

Have you ever stayed friends in this situation?

Asked by zensky (13291 points ) October 30th, 2011

Whether it be a blind date or an arranged date, an internet date or any any other kind of first date, you have inevitably said “no” to many of them after a first date.

In many cases, there was absolutely nothing wrong with them; they were polite, kind and nice – maybe even attractive and good looking. For whatever reason – you decided there was no purpose in meeting again and taking it further.

However, you must have felt, and perhaps even told them – you think that you could be great friends – and that you are just not interested in them romantically.

They may have reciprocated – and perhaps felt the same. Egos bruised, but intellectually knowing they had met a genuiinely great person nonetheless.

So… have you ever actually remained friends with a “failed” first date? Does this ever happen?

I must admit: it hasn’t happened to me.

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6 Answers

Hibernate's avatar

Yes. And I am still friends with some of them. I know before doing something with someone if I can be friends [if they answer some of my questions and they are true when they reply].
I’m never sorry when a first romantic date goes wrong but I can spot a potential friend very good. And sometimes I might not be interested in being their friend but I don’t really know if I am suitable until I do it.

harple's avatar

Yes, a couple of times – nice people that I would have been sorry to lose touch with having found them.

flutherother's avatar

It has happened with me. The girl in question was renting property in Scotland after falling out with her boyfriend down south. We got together through the Internet and met up a few times before she went south to move back in with her boyfriend. Oddly enough we remained in touch for years afterwards.

zenvelo's avatar

Not recently. I am friends with women I had a date with long ago, but in each instance it took a bit of time for each of us to be comfortable being together. It’s never been “this isn’t going to work out bit let’s go to a movie next week.”

I think it’s mostly because people who are going out on first dates are not looking for more friends, but looking for lovers and possible mates. I barely have time for a new relationship; I don’t have the time or energy to build a friendship.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Yes but just one very very special internet crush. We met in person, had a fabulous though non romantic weekend after which I knew exactly of another girl that would be perfect for him and went about playing a kind of go-between. They are a smashing couple.

linguaphile's avatar

I am still friends with a number of ex-dates and ex-relationships—Most of the time my relationships have ended amiably or with little tension. Even my current separation is amiable, and I intend to keep it that way for my daughter’s sake. I really don’t like hard feelings and abhor conflicts, so usually keep my end very friendly and non-volatile.

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