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ucme's avatar

If Michael Myers (Halloween) was looking for a job, what would be the most/least suitable vacancy for which he could apply?

Asked by ucme (50047points) October 31st, 2011

Now of course this is a purely fictional scenario, for as those of you who know/care, he was in fact, as mad as a box of frogs.
What if though, what if he had a “normal” well adjusted childhood?
What if he grew up to be a well respected member of the community, a good egg?
A career oppurtunity that would have suited him well, and/or one which would have been just asking for trouble?

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8 Answers

rebbel's avatar

Most suitable: Boner (not that boner).
Least suitable: Actor

Scooby's avatar

Yeah, given his dexterity with bladed implements I’d say Butcher :-/
Least suitable, Santa…. Lol….

everephebe's avatar

Best: Stunt man.
Worst: School guidance counselor.

Berserker's avatar

Michael Myers was not mad per se. His humanity had been all but destroyed by a dark force controlling him. His soul was long gone, and all that’s left is the physical envelope that serves as a vessel for the mysterious force to do its deeds. (although you can sometimes see his humanity weakly coming back, when he reacts to his name being spoken, or when he does his famous head tilt) It was never really clear what the force is or what its purpose was, because every goddamn movie in that franchise always seems to ignore the one that came before, and tries to reconstruct everything on its own, leaving out passed key elements. (personally, I just love how broken the series is though)

From what I may harvest, the intention behind Myers is actually good, even if it involves murder. We learn in number two that Myers is connected with the Gaelic harvest festival, Samhain. That tradition was linked to the day of the dead, which pretty much spawned Halloween. Cleansing rituals, appeasing the dead, all that stuff. In the movies, they took their own warp on it, using Myers as ’‘the reaper’’. Specifically, in number six, we learn that if Myers can destroy the bloodline to whom he belongs, or had once belonged to, the world would be saved from evil. This is that dark force’s duty. Or some shit like that. They never elaborate or specify, but they do dramatize it a lot…basically, he’s animated by modern day druids who thought they were doing what was best for humanity. I,d like to know why the Myers bloodline is targeted though, and how it being gone can save the world. Why them?

However, in the first movie, John Carpenter had never intended for Michael Myers to be some supernatural force or power. He was indeed just some crazy bastard. Except I had to mention all that above, because I’m using his traits from later movies to establish my answers, rather than just the first. I’m also going from the old movies obviously, not the Zombie remakes. (don’t get me wrong, I love those too, but again, those also suggest that something abnormal happened to Mikey, despite his shitty upbringing)

And I wanted to show off, too, so that’s why my actual answer is really short. XD

Best Job; Locksmith. Seriously. This guy gets in everywhere, no matter how expertly it’s locked, barricaded or restrained. He’s the best guy to call if you misplaced your house key or your car door won’t stop fucking around.

Worse Job; Child welfare worker. I mean think about it.

I always thought that he would make a damn decent ninja, too. I mean that’s basically what he is, when you look at what the ninja from Feudal Japan actually were. But I guess that’s not really a job. XD

Scooby's avatar

@Symbeline, I’m impressed :-)

ucme's avatar

@Symbeline A fine & yes, touching defence of Mickey the masked marauder. I absolutely agree he had some good in him, buried way down deep in his tortured ickle soul. I mean, he was such an adorable little boy, all dressed up & the way he brandished that big knife when we first caught sight of him, awww bless. He just wanted big hugs & a shoulder to hack into….cry on & things could have turned out different.
Funny you should say locksmith, that’s currently my profession. Although the similarities end right there. Anyway, good stuff, I expected nothing less :¬)

SuperMouse's avatar

He would be an awesome grave digger and all of that physical labor might help get some of his aggression out. He would be a really lousy nanny.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

He would be a fabulous butcher or possibly a mortician.

He would be an awful therapist.

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