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saint's avatar

Would you be disappointed if indisputable evidence emerged that Jesus had bad breath and ugly teeth?

Asked by saint (3970 points ) November 6th, 2011

Assuming Jesus even existed…
What if you found out that, instead of the androgynous fair haired pretty boy that Medieval artists and their patrons imagine, he was a creepy sort of troll, with bad teeth and dog breath. Like Steve Buschemi (bad teeth for sure, never smelled his breath). Would that change anything for you?

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23 Answers

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Assuming Jesus did exist (as a human) then I’d expect he did have bad teeth and also bad breath. In those times I doubt anyone was a fussy with their teeth as we modern people are now with special toothbrushes, waterpics and nifty floss sticks. I love floss sticks.

JilltheTooth's avatar

If he was as charismatic as they say, creepy troll teeth and halitosis would make no difference. I have met a few truly charismatic people in my life, and they were all rather unremarkable in appearance, but loaded with a magnetism that makes you willing to drink the KoolAid.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I don’t think that’s why people like Jesus.

Blackberry's avatar

I’d look forward to the new portrayals.

saint's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You mean because he had bad teeth, or in spite of his bad teeth?

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

Jesus was supposed to be gentle and compassionate, so no, an ugly appearance and bad breath wouldn’t disappoint me. I would be much more disappointed in his dentist and barber. I would still love him.

JLeslie's avatar

I would be dissappointed that someone felt they needed to mention it or tell people. Jesus’ message and life is what is supposed to be important about him, not how he looked or whether he had good teeth.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@saint I don’t think people cared about anyone’s teeth back then.

saint's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You’re probably right. Still, I wonder why not…

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir True, they probably just yanked them out when they got to look like Indian corn. Lol.

JLeslie's avatar

Yeah, probably a whole bunch of people had bad teeth. Like a whole bunch of people died on a cross. Just sayin’.

saint's avatar

@JLeslie In the territories conquered by Rome, it is for sure lots of people were crucified (a Roman favorite method of keeping order in the provinces) and possible that people had bad teeth (especially in the provinces).

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Since I’m fairly certain rotten teeth and bad breath would have been common back then, I don’t think it would have mattered if Jesus’ mouth was gross.

Coloma's avatar

Yep, pretty likely given the times.

Reminding self to pick up new tube of bleach at the dentist next week haha

lillycoyote's avatar

Actually, people have been taking care of their teeth for some time, in various ways and that many dental problems that modern people have are the result of diets heavy in refined foods, particularly the consumption of refined sugars. That’s what destroys teeth. And there were early breath fresheners, like the chewing of peppermint, eucalyptus, cinnamon and vanilla beans and the rather disturbing use of other substances as mouthwash. The Romans seemed to have liked fresh breath. These things would have been known to Jesus, so it’s very possible that he might have had pretty good teeth and fresh, minty breath. :-) Anyway, I doubt that his teeth or breath would have been any worse that those of any of the other people of the time. I really don’t care; whoever he was, he died a very long time ago. I would only care if if his breath was bad if he were still alive and he was right up in my face.

mazingerz88's avatar

Are you kidding? There is no chance in the world Jesus could have had bad teeth. You have a Dad who created billions of stars and you can’t even have sparkly white molars? Well, Jesus Christ! Heh.

fizzbanger's avatar

Stop hating on Steve. And bad teeth are sexy – look at Lara Stone.

Linda_Owl's avatar

There are some actual historical references to an individual named “Jesus” from the time period in which Jesus was supposed to have lived. That being said, I do not believe that this person named Jesus was the mythical ‘Son of God’. He may well have lived & he may well have been intensely charismatic & persuaded people to follow him. He may have been only average looking, but probably not afflicted with bad teeth, etc., since there are no references to these types of imperfections. If this individual actually lived, he was the perfect choice for inspiring this new religion & what better way to cement this new religion in the minds of the people than by killing him & making people think that he rose from the dead? He may even have bought into the whole thing, delusional thinking is frequent among some segments of most societies. So, according to the Bible, & to some historical references, he was crucified (Rome’s favorite way of getting rid of trouble-makers ! ) & then he was just dead. But he generated centuries of church rule over ignorant peasants & countless religious wars.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

For a guy who could feed thousands of peeps with one basket of fish and bread… for a guy who could walk on water and heal the blind… for a guy who could pass through walls and transcend space and time… I bet a guy like that has absolutely PERFECT teeth.

ucme's avatar

It’s rumoured in some scriptures, that the nazarine did in fact frequently visit a dentist of sorts.
A certain Mr. Phil Degap if memory serves. Anyway, he was diagnosed with “holy molars” a condition which was to blight the messiah right up until his untimely demise, aww bless.
He should’ve kept away from all those sweeties, the naughty boy! ;¬}

smilingheart1's avatar

Jesus was a healthy eater and they must have had wintergreen leaves or some mint herb for breath freshening. He didnt live long enough for his dental health to deteriorate enormously. You raise a good point about dentistry in the old cultures.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I was going to say what @Neizvestnaya said!

mattbrowne's avatar

He might have used roots or tree twigs. Primitive “toothbrushes” were invented long before Jesus was born. Certain roots or tree twigs do have antiseptic properties. But they were no match for what we got today. So depending on the diet people lost more and more teeth the older they got. Jesus was still quite young when he was crucified so his teeth might have been okay.

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