Do I challenge you to write an opening to a novel?

Yes, I do challenge you.

Write a paragraph that sounds like it is the opening paragraph to a novel. I should make me want to keep reading the rest of the novel (even though it doesn’t exist). Feel free to write the rest of the novel if you want.

Rules:
Most elaborate/interesting/epic/eye-catching introduction wins.
No cheating.

Example:
The ocean is a mighty tyrant. Insubordinate to the power of man, it alone touches everything. Sometimes it does certain things, just to prove it could. And when one tries to push his will upon the sea, it pushes back, much harder. Here, I speak the ineffable, the language of the sea.

(I do have a plot for the rest of the novel, but it is really deep and depressing)