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15barcam's avatar

I have a guy friend who asked out a really mean girl. What should I do?

Asked by 15barcam (724 points ) November 29th, 2011

Actually this girl is more than just mean! She has a huge reputation of saying yes when a guy asks her out, and then not showing up at the date and laughing about how stupid the guy was to think she was serious. Unless, of course, the guy who asks her out is super popular. I actually over heard her talking about this guy after he asked her out and laughing about what a dork he is. My friend is not super popular, not extremely attractive, (not ugly, just not super good looking), and not her type at all. How can a save my sensitive friend from getting hurt without making him mad at me? He was just so happy when she said yes and I don’t think he will want to hear a word against her.

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17 Answers

augustlan's avatar

I think you’re going to have to bite the bullet and tell him the truth. The fact that she’s known for standing guys up for her own amusement should be in your favor.

saint's avatar

I guess your friend is going to learn a lesson in life. Much more valuable than any advice you could ever give.

Ela's avatar

All you can do is point out to him the different times she has done this and then let him decide.
Be there for him if she ends up doing the same thing to him. Sometimes you just have to live and learn unfortunately.
I’m wondering, if she has this notorious reputation, why did he ask he out in the first place?

Repo_the_Genetic_Opera's avatar

You should just warn him. Tell him exactly what you heard and what you’ve experienced with her.

john65pennington's avatar

Make the call and tell your friend. Lets turn the tables on her.

creative1's avatar

Be prepared to be there to pick up the pieces if it doesn’t happen, he will appreciate you being there for hime when he needs it. When someone likes another its hard to get through to them unless the sh@# hits the fan.

Phobia's avatar

It may be tough, but as a friend, you should give him a heads up. He may still go, but if she doesn’t show up, maybe he’ll at least be a little prepared and not quite as hurt.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Despite that you foresee a train wreck on date night, let it go unless he asks you for your opinion. What about asking the friend to call you after the date or meet up with you the next day?

Blackberry's avatar

Every guy learns the lesson once in life: Don’t stick your d*** in crazy.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Sorry, I don’t think you should say or do anything. Reputation or not, you don’t know her intentions. And, sadly, we all go on a date with a total jerkface at least once in our lives, so if your suspicions turn out to be true, it isn’t something that most people won’t experience without any warning. It’s a lesson most of us learn the hard way, that’s life.

captainsmooth's avatar

Nothing. He will find out soon enough. Be a friend if/when he gets burned.

blueberry_kid's avatar

I concur with @captainsmooth. When he gets burned, he’ll need a shoulder to lean on, and you’ll be the perfect person to help him rebound. If she’s a bitch, and everyone knows it:

1.) He’ll hear rumours from friends, and you could possibly hint at him. Like “Oh my gosh! Dude, why are you letting her do that?! That’s so rude.” You know, just give him little hints, he’ll get the message sooner or later.

2.)If the relationship gets even more long-term, he’s going to be so tired of her bitchi-ness and be so heartbroken by how rude she is, that he’ll come back to reality and realize what a mistake he made, and break up with her.

3.) That relationship will not last long, and me, you, and everyone’s momma know that. You said she’ll say yes to any guy, so, let mother-nature take her course. It’ll all come tumbling down eventually.

Don’t worry too much about it. Before you know it, it’ll come crashing down. And he’ll need a good friend to lean on.

asmonet's avatar

You’re just going to look petty, jealous or mean spirited yourself no matter how kindly you tell him. If she stands him up you can comfort him and keep your mouth shut. if she shows up, all you’ve done is paint yourself in a bad light by talking about her behind her back with what he will see as lies.

Everyone experiences this, but you may put a damper on what could be a nice date with you relaying second hand negativity. And as for the conversation, I’m guessing you’re rather young and are in school.

People say mean shit in public they don’t mean in private to fit in. She may genuinely like your friend but couldn’t admit it to others.

wundayatta's avatar

My first instinct is that you should stay out of it. Not your business. You be there to support your friend, but in matters like these, advice is generally seen as meddling and it never earns you brownie points.

You could, perhaps, ask him if he wants to hear the rumors you have heard about her. Or what you have heard her say. He may or may not choose to hear it. But be aware you are risking his trust when you do this.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@Blackberry couldnt be more right. It seems like no matter what our friends do or warn we always end up ignoring them at some point, screwing our friends over for them, realizing “shit that bitch be crazy”, realizing damn, my friends were right all along, and then moving on and not letting it happen again. It seems like a lesson all guys learn some point in life.

perspicacious's avatar

Mind your own business.

Inspired_2write's avatar

It s his business.
If she has this rep than I am sure that he will find out.
She should be very carefull..one day she might find a person who would not take kindly to her behavior.
Perhaps she is this way because someone elde did that to her?
Still not right to do back to others that in the past someone did to her?
She should confront that past hurt and person perhaps?

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