Social Question

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Do the people that your spouse or S/O finds attractive have similar features to yours?

Asked by ANef_is_Enuf (23298 points ) December 5th, 2011

Whether it is a celebrity that you know they find attractive, or their ex, or someone you’ve seen them checking out in public, or if they are open enough to tell you when someone is attractive to them.

I can’t remember where (but I will look), but I read a study that said that women will attempt to emulate the appearance of other women that their spouse finds attractive, if they are able. I don’t know if the same is true for men, but it specifically said that women will commonly do this… and that if the other person resembles them in some way, it will reaffirm their belief that their spouse finds them attractive.

I’m asking this question because I was browsing through photos of a celebrity that I know my husband finds attractive, just out of curiosity, not because he likes her. But a few photos in, I caught myself comparing myself to her. It wasn’t until I thought to myself “maybe I should dye my hair,” that I realized what I was actually doing.

So, do you compare yourself to other people your spouse finds attractive? Does it bother you if they don’t have certain features in common with you?

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18 Answers

wonderingwhy's avatar

There’s sort of a core group that she finds attractive with whom I share some general traits but I don’t find myself comparing and it doesn’t matter to me whether traits are shared or not.

As an aside, I make no effort to emulate the style of other men unless I think it would work well for me (and she agrees) though she much more frequently tries out various fashions of women I find attractive with a fair degree of success.

Jude's avatar

Not a celebrity, but, she’s attracted to brunettes with blue eyes. She also likes a real feminine body with a strong back (which I have). Cracking tits and a nice ass. Long hair.

rojo's avatar

Well, the actor who plays Thor and I are both male.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. When I first started dating my now husband, he wasn’t shy about what women he found attractive or why he was dating me. He likes blonde women with fake boobs and trailer trash makeup jobs but somehow by some strange twist, he fell in love with me- dark hair, freckles, wears usually no makeup and has natural boobs.

Blackberry's avatar

I’ve only had one significant other that had a thing for black men, but the rest were pretty varied.

Facade's avatar

I hope not. He doesn’t have the best taste in women.

Brian1946's avatar

Nope- I look nada like Ricky Martin. ;-)

I didn’t compare myself to Ricky because I look nothing like him. However, I did compare him to Hank Churches ;) (Enrique Iglesias) and concluded that I think Enrique is mucho más attractive.

My niece and I both think that Enrique is gorgeous.

I doesn’t bother me if they don’t have any features that resemble mine, because my wife has very diverse tastes in appearances,

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Not before he met me. He used to be into mousy petite forgettable kind of women. I guess sometimes he still is (think Felicia Day) into them. But these days, if he sees curvier women or ones with tattoos or an outgoing personality, he’s into them. Last porn he sent me to watch, the girl was like my twin.

jerv's avatar

Hugh Laurie and Chris Eccleston are both witty.

digitalimpression's avatar

No, and the same is true in reverse.

mazingerz88's avatar

Yes. She admires George Clooney and I have the same last name as George…minus the C.

Repo_the_Genetic_Opera's avatar

My boyfriend once said that I “had great legs like Asuka Kazama from Tekken”. Does that count?

JLeslie's avatar

Yes, with one exception, they usually have more of a bubble butt. Face and coloring though are usually very similar. In fact, a friend of mine once commented on it when my husband was saying he thought a certain actress was pretty.

My husband is very much my type, and the actors I find attractive look like him.

wundayatta's avatar

I don’t believe I have a type. There are many women I find beautiful and who, had I ever had the opportunity, would not kick out of bed. When I hear other people talking about types I find that so shallow and also hard to believe. How could you not be interested in anyone who was interesting and who you found attractive?

But, having said that, I have to confess that it seems I have a type. This is not through trying. To me, it’s accidental. I never set out to be with women who were ex-catholics with either red or blond hair. Yet there have been five of them in my life. Five with whom I’ve had relationships of at least two years or a relationship that has not ended.

It’s weird, if you ask me. I’ve had other girlfriends, but none that lasted more than a few months. Only these five have all lasted so long.

All this is to say that none of them ever had to try to be my “type.” They all were already my type. They only needed to look at themselves and try to be themselves to be beautiful to me.

To tell the truth, I feel like shooting my own lying eyes out. Honest. I don’t have a type. And yet, my eyes seem to be telling another story. Where the hell does that come from?

bkcunningham's avatar

Maybe it is just a natural part of getting to know yourself, @wundayatta.

smilingheart1's avatar

Others have made the points very well. I would just add a post script: Do you think Ginger White of Herman Cain fame bears a level of resemblance to Mrs. Cain? (Yes I do.) Psychologist Flutherites, PM with your critique on Herman Cain if you wouldn’t mind?

augustlan's avatar

I don’t have a type, and find a wide range of men attractive, so my husband doesn’t need to think about this at all. Now he definitely has a type, but I fit pretty well into his type already. Tomboyish women like Ellen DeGeneres and Jodie Foster. We have very similar taste in women.

OpryLeigh's avatar

Yes, they all seem to be small and dark, like me! Every so often he’ll mention that he likes a certain celebrity and I’ll be like ”really?” but I don’t compare myself to them too much.

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