Let's play the story game, shall we?

“Once upon a time, there was a big ape named….......”

Billy. He was renowned the world over for his abnormally large . . .

penis. Billy hates Christmas because…..

his hopes were once dashed by

Santa Claus who dropped his gift while flying over…

the women’s penitentiary in Vandalia, Illinois. This place was important in Billy’s . . .

life as he married his first wife Trudi there, whom he met via “Monstrous Women Behind Bars” inc.

She was widely known as…

a gal that Billy thought was a whore with a heart of gold. Instead it turns out she was just a whore with . . .

a great appetite for meth and any other illegal drug she could get her hands on, so…......

she died one day of drug overdose leaving him nothing.

So, Big Boy Billy decided he needed another mate to do monkey time with and went to a local swingers bar and found…...........

…loads of monkeys, sitting on swings, all the while juggling and eating bananas.

So Big Boy Billy thought he might as well join them, and picked up a banana, when suddenly…

the Spanish Inquisition burst in and shouted . . .

“God Save The Queen!!”

And then..from a dark hallway stepped the happy brownie fairy, her wise presence commanded attention…all eyes were on her when she spoke.
“We must form a counsel to make such a grave decision, let us smokum’ the peace pipe and decide together…”

”...what kind of partner Billy really needs.” And the crowd parted, revealing…

The Queen of England, dress like the girl with the dragon tattoo, accompanied by Prince Charles dressed as Elvis. Behind them plays the popular band…

The Jonas Brothers. Then, they announced that Billy would go on a date with the celebrity…

Kim kardashian. Billy had a digestion problem so on the date….

He pooped his pants, resulting in Kim walking out on him.

But the truth was, he didn’t really poop his pants, he only farted—he pretended to because the date was just horrible and he wanted a way out. So now that he was free again, he…

Went and PARTIED IT UP! After his celebratory, “I’m finally free” night, he slept until noon the next day. Then, he got up and went to…..

…North Korea.

As he entered the palace, the pallid ghost of Kim Jong Il unceremoniously dumped the naked teenybopper from his lap and stood to greet him.

Kim Jong Il said: “Billy, it’s so lonely in the afterlife…I’m sooo lonely, I want someone to keep me company so I’m sending you on a quest to go kill…

Bill.

So Billy agreed and went ahead…

…and beheaded himself.

His head rolled away, but he walked over to it, picked it up and held it up to the crowd.

The crowd shouted: “Bis, bis, bis!!!”, so Bill cut of his limbs as an encore.

Then, he realized how grusome this was and stopped cutting off his body parts.

So he then proceeded to cut off the body parts of others…

And then he was arrested because cutting off other people’s body parts is grusome too.
Can we keep this story happy?

Due to lack of evidence he was acquitted, so he went to McDonalds, to celebrate, and ordered a Happy Meal.

He got the Tansformers Optimus Prime toy and was happy with it. Then it broke, so he…..

Went to WalMart to locate a Jane toy that would treat him with respect and…......

to his amazement, he was intercepted by an elderly greeter who wrestled him into the body cavity search closet.

So Billy sat there and enjoyed it. He knew it was better than Kim Kardashian. Then, after he was proved innocent on terroist accounts, he went to buy…

A safety pin, just in case.

And made sure to affix to himself a note that read,

Dear Billy. Grrrooowwwlll. , Love Mom

P.S. I left you a . . .

special package at the post office. The contents are a suprise.”
So Billy went down to the post office, got his paackage, and opened it. Inside, it contained….

a letter from @rebbel saying….

“Hallo, kan ik je vriend?” Billy was very happy, and decided to find out who this @rebbel was and where he lived.

So, he hacked @rebbel‘s computer and got all the information he needed and more. BIlly did not know the meaning of trolling, so this seemed perfectly alright to him. When he got to @rebbel‘s house, he…...

Knocked on the door with his left hand, as his right hand was…

Cut off during all that limb severing that was going on before. Then, as the door slowly creeped open, out popped…

A balloon, that read HAPPY NEW YEAR… and popped in Billy’s face.

Billy soon realized that he had come to @rebbel‘s house during his annual New Year’s Eve party. Billy was immeadiatly handed a glass of champagne and started to party. He began dancing to the song…

Auld Lang Syne, which he was extremley fond of.