What is your opinion of this traffic stop scenerio? (see inside)

What the officer did is a breach of ethics on his part, and most likely a breach of the local police code of conduct. In my county, the policeman could be disciplined with unpaid time off, and a reprimand put in his record.

The police officer was way out of line. The woman is completely in the right.

Elband, I agree with your answer, but what if you were the officer in this situation. She is an attractive woman. How would you go about asking her for a date?

And, if the officer had not issued her a traffic citation, then asked her for a date, would that have made any difference in the outcome?

I think its obnoxious to sue somebody for something like that. She is obviously just looking for some free money. She’s pissed the dude gave her a ticket, probably knowing that she’s an attractive female, so she uses it to her advantage. Seems shitty to me. Who sues someone for asking them out? It’s laughable. Gold digger.

I don’t think what he did is “sue-worthy.” I do find it creepy, though. They had a poll about this today on the Today Show. About ⅔’s of people said it was creepy as opposed to appropriate. I think for her to hire an attorney is overkill.

John, in your post you said “What if you were the officer in this situation? She is an attractive woman. How would you go about asking her for a date?” Is she the only attractive woman in the world that this officer could have asked for a date? Are there not other attractive women in the world to pursue? He must remember that he is a professional above all else, and his job should come first, unless she was so drop-dead gorgeous that he would risk it for her.

That said, if i were that woman, I would probably write a letter to the Mayor and to the Commissioner of Police (or whatever the title is for the top cop in that town). Sue? Hell no.

@john65pennington , one of the responsibilities of an officer is to act professionally. This sometimes means that he can’t let his bodily appendages guide what he does at work. That is the tradeoff that a person makes for being in a position of trust and responsibility. A police officer by nature of the badge and the uniform is in a power position. He abused his power.

As for ‘what should he have done’? Trading a date for a tickets is NOT what he should have done. I have no sympathy for him. If he really wanted a date, he should have given her a warning and not turned this into a quid-pro-quo.

[Personal note: both my daughter and son-in-law are police officers and I talked this over with them.]

I agree with @jca. He shouldn’t have done it, but she shouldn’t sue. Sounds like neither of them is thinking clearly.

The dickhead deserved to be sued. Police are in a position of power. To abuse that position in asking someone out is absolutely unforgiveable. How else is she going to be able to respond to get justice?

There is no surefire way of getting this attractive woman to agree on a date. The situation does not provide the perfect atmosphere for a sudden burst of romantic endeavors. Maybe it was for the officer but not necessarily for the female.

There are conditions to be met for the officer to get lucky and get her to agree on something like giving her number, but not a date, imo. First, she also has to find him attractive. Second, in that short window of opportunity, while the officer does his job in the most professional way, asking for her license and registration, explaining to her the dangers of having a broken taillight etc., he could be witty without being creepy. Third, if she does not bite, his last resort is give her his number and hope for the best.

Unfortunately, it could be that the most successful romantic scenarios occur only in Hollywood movies. It’s not easy to be spontaneously funny and desirable that women would be willing to see you again. The officer has to create a magical moment there. That is almost impossible in that situation. So instead, he did the desperate thing that would almost guarantee a major backfire. And it did.

@john65pennington If you wish, you could watch the movie Bridesmaid with Kristen Wiig. There is a scene there that matches exactly this officer’s situation. Kristen’s character was pulled over by an officer because of a broken taillight. Watching the scene, you would immediately sense he was slowly warming up to her but the way he worked his way into her consciousness was just classy and gentlemanly. That’s one brilliant way to do it.

I don’t know about “suing” him, but she certainly should report him to his superiors. His actions are completely out of line. He is abusing his position of authority to hit on women? How can that be considered acceptable behaviour? He should lose his job for this.

mazingerz, You have given an excellent answer. Matter of fact, it was so good that I read it twice. This proves that there is more than one way to skin a cat, sort to speak. A really good answer.

elband, Thanks for gathering a 2nd and 3rd opinion from your daughter and son-in-law. I agree with them that it could have been handled in a much different manner, but sometimes love is blind.

@john65pennington A question of clarification: did the officer leave the note after the fine was paid? That is, did he have to use the information he got by pulling her over to find out where she lived and/or where she worked so that he could stop by and leave the note at a later date?

I don’t think the people who object to the woman’s actions are properly reading between the lines here.

She was stalked. She is completely in the right, and moreover the officer should be fired for abuse of his authority.

She was (legitimately) stopped and ticketed for an infraction. Okay, that’s fine.

But then he used her license and registration information to stalk her so that he could ‘leave a note on her windshield’. (He obviously didn’t do that during the traffic stop. If he did, then his offer of a date to ‘make up for the ticket’ was solicitation of a bribe, which is also a criminal offense.)

He should have done his job and left the woman alone unless he met her socially. When the cop is “doing his job” we are not permitted to walk away; we’re captive to his authority. For him to exercise that authority for personal gain is criminal.

I fully support the woman’s actions.

I personally don’t object to what she did, I just feel it was overkill. Suing is not necessary, IMHO. I think a well written letter to Mayor and top cop should suffice, and achieve the result of bringing it to the attention of top brass. If she wanted she could have cc’d the local news channel or newspaper. Maybe she could also get an order of protection, to make her point.

Suing means she’s looking for money, which I don’t think is necessary in this case. I think using the word “object” to describe how I feel about what she did is a little harsh.

He left the note after she had paid the fine. The officer apparently used the info from her drivers license, to know where she lived and the make and model car she was driving, in order to leave the note on her windshield.

Yes, I agree that he used his authority for his own personal gain. But, he did not commit a crime. Was this “conduct unbecoming an officer”? Probably so. If so, should it not have been handled internally by his police superiors and not a civil lawsuit?

The laws of stalking requires much more action on the part of the stalker, than the officer’s actions of just leaving a note on her cars windshield. This was just a one time event on the part of the officer. Does the driver just see dollar signs in her eyes?

My vote is she sees dollar signs.

My vote is that she recognized that he is already in a position of authority, so he already has an upper hand. She either doesn’t know or doesn’t trust that the police administration will properly handle this and keep him from escalating his advances (because now that he knows where she lives he can stop her again any time – almost none of us is ‘perfectly’ within the law when we drive). Maybe she already knows that this behavior is winked at by police administrators. It’s “romantic”, after all, right? Surely it’s not stalking, because no cop would stalk a pretty woman, would he?

In my opinion, she’s after a permanent stop to the behavior via a very public and un-ignorable complaint. There has been “no harm” committed, so there’s no money to be gained. A competent lawyer would recognize that instantly. This suit is going to cost her, in fact, unless they suit covers “the cost of the suit itself”, which should be about the most she can expect to recover.

IMHO this is a savvy complainant, with an entirely legitimate complaint. I’ve known women “involved” with police officers before, and when things go south in the relationship, the women are confronted with a “solid blue line” who rallies around their buddy officer. She wants this behavior stopped cold. I don’t blame her.

@john65pennington The wording of your question make it obvious that you think the police officer should be entitled to ask this “dazzling beauty” out. NO! Not while he is on duty, and not while off duty if he is using private information on her that he received while on duty. This officer cannot use his position to recruit dates in any way.

Skagg, no, I never said that and yes, his actions were way out of line. I only stated that the punishment should have been handled in-house with his police department and not in a civil court. I have stopped many pretty women and issued them a citation, if warranted. I have never had a follow-up as he officer did above. This was using his authority for his own personal gain. There were other methods to approach her, other than leaving a note on her windshield, but he chose not to use other acceptable methods.

Well, you did ask what other way he could have asked her for a date! I am saying that there isn’t an acceptable way for him to do that – unless he runs into her at a party or bar some day while off duty. As far as what recourse the lady wanted to take – well, that is her perogative.

My first thought was “Lawsuit? That seems extreme.” Then I read @mazingerz88‘s answer and thought about how if it were a Hollywood movie, it would be all meet-cute, you’d have the backstory on the characters and root for the endearing note on the windshield tactic to work.

But life isn’t a scripted film. She could have quite valid reasons for feeling intimidated by being pursued romantically by a person who has authority. It would be similar to being hit on by a teacher or a pastor if the attraction was not mutual and she was afraid of reprisals for declining the advances.

You can’t blame the officer for having human feelings but he should be reprimanded for overstepping his professional boundaries. I still think lawsuit is extreme.

@john65pennington: @Skaggfacemutt probably got that from your first post, where you said “she is an attractive woman. How would you go about asking her for a date?” It sounds like you are arguing that he was in the right, or that you are saying well what is a poor guy to do in this situation?

I am curious what people think of this similar question:

I am a graduate student who works as a teaching assistant, which gives me access to quite a bit of information about my students. As it turns out, the policies of my university prohibit relationships between students and professors, but not between students and teaching assistants. If I were to use my access to student information to track down someone I found attractive, would this be inappropriate? Would the student be right to complain? Would the student be correct to say that my abuse of her personal information was a violation of her rights under FERPA and thus that she had the right to sue me?

If you feel differently about this case and the police case, please explain why.

It would be just as inappropriate as the policeman. I don’t care if the university allows it or not; it’s still a power position.

And yes, she could sue you and there’s a good likelihood she would win.

Is there any possibility that the police officer pulled her over because he thought she was attractive? That would substantially add to the creep factor.

$132 seems pretty steep for a tail light. I thought cops usually gave a warning for things like that? Perhaps she is spiteful toward traffic cops in general and pounced on the opportunity to get back at one.

@elbanditoroso I agree. I’m curious what people who think the woman shouldn’t have sued the police officer think.