Play silly definitions with me?

I’ll start.

Pursue
The hunt for a new purse

Contactract.
Obtaining a contact.

Oxi -morons…. The guys who advertise on Infomercials at 3am while hawking crappy products with an inappropriate excess of false zeal.

Congruent – A prisoner by the name of gruent.

Treadmill [n.]: A torture device perfected in the 20th century, designed to destroy one’s mind through sensory deprivation and monotony.

(stolen from Runner’s World magazine)

Doctor- A person who kills your ills with pills then kills you with bills.

Silly
Foolish, minor illness.

@fizzbanger You mean to say Dreadmill? Lol.

Adolescents – the smells that come from a teenager’s bedroom… (ewww)

Belate : a lesser-known thinly veiled insult meaning please don’t turn up to the party.

Assassination – any country upon which any citizen with a buttock is breaking the law.

Category- A gory horror movie about cats.

Internet- A net that is between two things

Doggedly- The action of sniffing someone’s ass

Meteorology- the study of meteors.

Politics- having more than one tic.

Paleontology- the science of pales, which also includes bucket lists.

Mammal- exhibiting mamma-like qualities.

Reptile- a tile with a forked tongue and scaly-ass skin.

Asstrology- the study of heavenly hindquarters.

Narcokleptic- someone who has a compulsion to steal drugs.

Relish – A bit like a rel.

Minute.
A very small part of a day.

Carpet.
A car with a pet.

Shoe horn… a shoe and a horn.

Pants – breathable trousers