Social Question

john65pennington's avatar

Are some couples completely mismatched?

Asked by john65pennington (29070 points ) January 20th, 2012

I once knew this girl that worked at Pizza Hut and was definetely dating a loser of a boyfriend. She had just graduated high school and was about to enter college. She tells me of the assault this person has had on her in the past. No offense to people that wear metal on their face and tattoos, but this guy was truly a loser. He never graduated high school and was a druggy, she was not. One night, he hit her for the last time and she finally called the police and he was arrested. She is now a junior in a Kentucky college. Question: how do couples become mismatched from day one? She was so far above his level and I still do not understand how this happened? Do you?

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8 Answers

partyrock's avatar

I don’t know…. I feel like when something happens like that, people should learn from their mistakes or lessons…

I dated some losers before, but because I didn’t know my own self worth… Cliche answer yes…

partyrock's avatar

I didn’t think he was a loser back then when I was dating him, but a few months after the breakup it dawned on me. Now I’m totally happy to be over that. I think when people lower their standards, or stay with people who aren’t good for them, it’s because they have lost self worth. Or are trying to change the person, or are afraid of being alone, etc.

King_Pariah's avatar

Simple answer: Yes

The why is the important question, why would someone put themselves in such a situation? The answers, however, come from a massive spectrum, sometimes because someone is dependent, or maybe self loathing; other times maybe over something superficial like money.

However mismatched is also a pretty broad subject and some seemingly mismatched couples are nigh perfect for whatever reason.

Charles's avatar

My wife dated and ended up marrying a complete loser.

We have a great marriage.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Women, especially, can be blind. They find these loser guys, but see something sweet in there that they think they can bring out….thankfully in your friend’s case she realized in time that the loser completely overshadows the molecule of sweet in him.

Blondesjon's avatar

Because, whether they care to admit it or not, women believe they can change a man and love nothing more than a challenge.

or low self esteem and daddy issues

john65pennington's avatar

I had the hardest time trying to convince her that this person was no good for her. I think she had blind love at the time. I even gave her a card explaining the cycle of domestic abuse. I know she read,it because I watched her read it. I think something hit home with her. She recognized an event on the card, that had happened to her.

On a “Good Person Scale”, she was an 8–9 and he was a minus 2, in my opinion.

I knew she came from a great family and his past was unmentionable.

The night he hit her in her face with his fist was the last straw. She took the correct step in notifying the local police, where she lives.

Her pretty face deserved something much better.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

All boils down to a low self-esteem, the belief that a woman can’t do any better than that and in some cases, such a low self-esteem that she may think that even that loser is too good of a deal for her!

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