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Bart19's avatar

Is my sister being neglected by my parents?

Asked by Bart19 (1020 points ) January 21st, 2012

My sister is thirteen, nearly fourteen years old. My parents are currently on a diet so they frequently don’t cook for her. She eats bread for dinner for five days a week and goes to bed at twelve/one o’clock during the weekends. She is left home alone on many occasions but our parents have taught us very little skills to be independent. Last year she nearly electrocuted herself by sticking a fork in a toaster to get some bread out. She didn’t know it was dangerous.

She’s obese and her health is poor. She has some very strange convictions that are supported by my other two sisters and my parents. Her home town is the safest and best place in the world, she idealizes her parents and wants to copy their lives exactly. Her friend has leukemia but she is praised by how she is dealing with her friend so amazingly well (to the point it nearly sounds like she is the one with cancer)and how she must struggle to keep the friendship intact. She throws massive hissy fits, comparable to the ones of four year olds, and she is very babified by the family.

She doesn’t so badly in school but I’m still concerned about her well being. I emigrated so I am not around often but based on earlier experience and when I do talk with her on msn, I seem to be raising her or at least talk a bit more sense into her. Judging on the accounts of my grandparents they also tend to sway her and force her to think more logically (For example she detested me for not making her the bridesmaid at my wedding many months ago and my grandparents told her not to dwell on the past while my other relatives persuaded her to never forgive me).

Is there any advice you, my fellow fluterines can give me? Is this neglect or am I thinking too much into it?

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5 Answers

zenvelo's avatar

Yes, it is neglect. It’s hard to give you advice as I don’t what the country or culture is where she lives with your parents. In the US, Canada, or the UK, i wold recommend getting ahold of the appropriate authorities to make sure she is fed properly and has some structure and routine.

Would your grandparents be willing to take her in? It sounds like your parents wouldn’t even miss her. Or is it possible for her to emigrate and live with you?

Bart19's avatar

Child services are a pain to get a hold of and as long as it’s not physical abuse, they are not willing to act. The main problem is that my parents warped her. It’s ingrained in her being that her hometown is amazing, safe plus she has all her friends there. England is not only foreign and new but she was also told it could easily flood and that it’s inferior to Holland in many ways. My parents won’t let her visit me alone so it’s hard for me to prove her otherwise. They have succesfully alienated her from my grandparents and other relatives by slandering them so if she ever comes to the decision she wants to leave (which is highly unlikely) she has nowhere to go.

whitenoise's avatar

If you feel that way, then please address that concern. It may be all too valid and better safe than sorry.

Since you’re living in The Netherlands, take a look at these sites. They should give you some decent advice on what to do.

http://www.amk-nederland.nl/

http://www.watkanikdoen.nl/

or call 0900 123 123 0 from the Netherlands. I don’t know if +31 900 123 123 0 would work. This will put you in contact with the responsible government agencies.

EverRose11's avatar

Curious are you from Asia ? If you are this sounds sort of A typical from what I have seen from families there.

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