Social Question

chokolatcake's avatar

Can anyone explain why a 30 year old would be in a relationship with a 19 year old?

Asked by chokolatcake (111 points ) January 23rd, 2012

My friend’s cousin is 30 and still goes out clubbing, likes to do drugs occasionally (possibly has a problem) and loves to drink, his current girlfriend is 18 and is quite an attention seeker, quite rude when she starts to dislike some one and always trying to seek approval…

I would like to know what people think of such a relationship between a 30 year old and a 18, is it normal? is he still trying so hard to fit with the younger crowd? Please explain your thoughts :)

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27 Answers

Jeruba's avatar

My guess would be that they like each other.

AshLeigh's avatar

I don’t see anything wrong with it. They’re both technically adults.
My 20 year old sister just got engaged to a 30 year old man. They’re in love. The age doesn’t matter.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Please get as much video as you can before inevitable crash and burn.

Blackberry's avatar

What does her character have to with her age? If his girlfriend was 30 and had the same traits would it be ok?

What if she was a career driven intellectual scholar? Would it still be unacceptable then?

zenvelo's avatar

For her? She’s got an older man who spends money on her, and takes her partying, shows her a good time, and compared to her girlfriends her age, she has a man while they have boys.

For him? He’s got a hot young thing that probably isn’t bugging him about marriage or babies.

I don’t endorse such views, but I’d bet that’s pretty close to what is going on.

mazingerz88's avatar

Sounds like these two deserve each other.~

But seriously, regardless of his age, his occasional drug-use is totally bad news. ( unless it’s weed? ) Lol.

FutureMemory's avatar

She’s impressed with his age, he’s impressed with her ass.

Sunny2's avatar

She may want to be taken care of. He may want someone to look up to him. Although it may not be to your liking, it can work.

King_Pariah's avatar

He has a mild lolita fetish ~

Does it matter? They’re consenting adults, and clearly share similar tastes which with a tad bit of chemistry is more than enough to “ignite the flames of passion”

stardust's avatar

It can work. There’s learning in every relationship and they’re obviously attracted to one another. Nobody else’s business after that

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

All the GA in the world to you @FutureMemory

hahahahahahahahah

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@stardust “It can work”

Damn… ED STRAIGHT!

chokolatcake's avatar

I have nothing against it, and I have nothing against her, I am just asking a question to see the possibilities of why these two would be together, I don’t have all the answers, but I do know when some one has a personality like her you are definitley compensating for something… and I’m sure that some one who understands what I mean would agree…@Blackberry When did I say this was unacceptable? I can’t answer your questions, thats why I’m asking.

chokolatcake's avatar

@King Pariah I would think so

Paradox25's avatar

Personally being with girls that young or that much younger than me is not my thing since as long as I’ve remembered time I was always attracted to women that were older than me. I will not use my own personal preference to judge others here and I don’t find nothing wrong with that age gap if the two people really like each other.

As far as trying to explain the person you’re mentioning here there is no way that I can. Maybe he does really like her, maybe he is trying to seem ‘younger’ (I don’t consider 30 old) or maybe he just wants to get his dipstick wet. Yeah, who knows.

MilkyWay's avatar

It may not be to your own personal liking, but there’s nothing wrong with it. As long as they’re both happy.

thetas49's avatar

When I was 32 I met a girl who was 18, we married when she was 21 and are still together 29 years later, of course there have been difficult times but on balance its been really good. We are approaching a time of change soon because in 2 years I will retire, and she will still have 13 years left at work. I get on well with her parents who are closer to my age than she is and we have three children who regard us both as the same generation. I’m not saying that this age difference is a recipe for happiness, but its working for us…..... so far!

elbanditoroso's avatar

@chokolatcake – don’t worry. The chances they will still be together in 12 months are slim.

nikipedia's avatar

Neither of them is looking for a partner.

I think men who date women that young are exploitative, predatory, and insecure.

jca's avatar

When I was 20 I went out with a guy who was 33. It was hot hot hot!

john65pennington's avatar

I know of a man that is 65 and dating a nice girl of 22. That’s 43 years difference. I do not understand what they possibly could have in common, but both seem to love each other. The man is not rich, by any means, so that lets out money as the reason.

I say this, numbers are just that, numbers. She is very mature for her age and has never been married. He is a widow of 8 years.They go to places all the time and enjoy themselves.

Both are in great physical shape.

So, does the age difference really make a difference?

downtide's avatar

There’s only 11 years between them. I know couples with a bigger age gap than that an they get along fine. I’d say that they like each other, maybe the guy is more young at heart and still enjoys the lifestyle of being young. Maybe he can’t find a decent single woman his own age. Maybe she likes older men because all the boys her own age act like they’re thirteen. Maybe he’s got more money than guys her own age. Maybe she likes the fact that he’s more sexually experienced. Maybe they just fell in love.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

What’s odd to me, is that were their ages reversed, and she was his elder, for some strange reason I don’t know why that would seem less acceptable than the man being the elder. That doesn’t sound fair, I know. Perhaps it’s my personal perception that women mature much faster than men. If the man was 18 years old, I still consider that to practically be a boy. But an 18 year old female for some reason I perceive her as being a woman… not a young woman like 16, but a full woman. I get to call her “My Old Lady” when she turns 22.

Blackberry's avatar

@chokolatcake The way you asked the question implied you thought there was something abnormal about it, as you asked “is it normal?”

OpryLeigh's avatar

Whether you like the girl or not, this guy obviously does and, seeing as they are both consenting adults, regardless of any age difference, that’s all that matters. My boyfriend and I have a larger age difference between us than this one and if there’s ever a problem with it it’s always someone else’s because we certainly don’t have any complaints.

jca's avatar

I think when it comes to relationships, there is no way to answer a question “Is it normal?” For the two people in the relationship, whether or not there’s a big age difference, regardless of whether or not they drink a lot or whatever, there is no “normal.” If it works for them, that’s all that matters.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

No one here can explain to you why your cousin is involved with someone. Ten year difference is quite a bit but gets smaller as the years go by. Concentrate on your own life and leave your cousin’s to your cousin.

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