General Question

emeraldisles's avatar

Am I the only person who does not plan on attending their prom or high school graduation?

Asked by emeraldisles (1934 points ) January 30th, 2012

This question is for people yet to graduate and people who already have. I have my own issues going on , plus issues with the people and school and just feel like these two events would be torturous for me. I am myself and don’t try to fit in. I just don’t care for that popularity crap since it bears no merit on who I am as a person.I am mostly quiet- mind you, not shy but if I have something I feell like saying or that has meaning , I say it. I come from a school where 95%of the people are loud, obnoxious, and rude. I just don’t feel like I have to play by their rules anymore. So is there anyone who has ever been in a similar position to mind and honestly does not regret it. Please refrain from’‘These are the best years of your life’’ and ’‘You’ll regret it sometime down the road’’.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

30 Answers

AnonymousWoman's avatar

I did attend my High School graduation, but I did not attend any prom whatsoever. I don’t regret either decision.

phaedryx's avatar

I didn’t go to prom. I don’t regret it. There wasn’t anyone in particular I wanted to take so I didn’t see the point.

Carly's avatar

I went to prom and hs graduation, and they were both disappointing. I regret going.
Wait till you want to go to something, like maybe college graduation, when it means more to you. Otherwise, you’re just doing it for peer/parents/societal pressure, and you’ll regret falling for that pressure.

Coloma's avatar

I had zero interest in my prom and graduated early, in my senior year.
This was 35 years ago. lol
I was never into the whole scene myself, I couldn’t wait to move on. :-)

Hain_roo's avatar

I was in a new school where the kids were snobs and I didn’t attend, no regrets. :)

rooeytoo's avatar

Well I think it depends on why you are not going. I read your question, and I am not saying this is you, but this is what happens sometimes so I will just put it out there.Sometimes people are so afraid of not being popular that they go in the complete opposite direction and sabotage any chances they have of being liked. This eliminates feelings of rejection or defeat, I will reject them so they don’t have a chance to reject me. Sometimes people strive to achieve “terminal uniqueness” which is also self defeating.

So if you don’t fit into those catagories and just don’t want to go, end of story, then I would say don’t go. If you do fit into a catagory, and it is not easy to admit it even to yourself if you do, they I would say get some counseling and figure out why you are like this. Better to work on it now than waiting until you are 40 and still wondering wtf is going on.

And remember what Abe Lincoln “Folks are just about as happy as they want to be” and that means at the prom or in the garden. Your attitude is what makes life fun or sucky.

lonelydragon's avatar

I reluctantly attended prom and graduation (mostly from a combination of familial pressure and the school holding our diplomas hostage unless we showed up to graduation exercises). Both experiences were kind of underwhelming and I wouldn’t have missed anything if I had skipped. I enjoyed having my then-boyfriend as a date for both events, but we could’ve had more fun on our own or with other friends.

HungryGuy's avatar

I didn’t attend my prom. In high school, I was a total nerd, despised by bullies around the world.

gorillapaws's avatar

There was a classmate who had her prom date bail on her a few weeks before the prom. She wasn’t going to go, so I asked her to go as friends. We had a great time, and it’s one of those moments I can look back on in my life and remember I did a good thing for someone else, and have some great memories because of it.

I think the decision is up to you of course, but you can take ownership of how you want your prom night to go and make it a night that’s fun for you. In a way, by not going you are empowering others to shape your night for you, I think it might be better to go and insist on having fun your way regardless of what other people think.

nromstadt's avatar

You’re very right not to let those “best years of your life…” comments affect you. Hopefully you will have moments that are much more meaningful than getting all dressed up for a dance. I went to both graduation and prom. I kind of had to go to graduation to give the speech.. but that’s beside the point.

I’ve never been much for spectacles like that, and often feel as if I’m one of the only people that does not want to be there. We had our “White Coat Ceremony” for our pharmacy school on Friday. This is where they parade us across the stage, reading our biographies and giving us our professional white coats. I would’ve been happier to stay home in my sweatpants, but everyone else loved it.

Good for you for knowing what you do and don’t like. Just don’t let it prevent you from putting yourself out there and trying new things every once in a while. You might find that as time goes on, and you change environments (I’m assuming you’re going to college after HS) that things may change!

Jeruba's avatar

Well, I didn’t.

SuperMouse's avatar

High school was four years in he!! for me and I didn’t attend a single dance beyond the welcome mixer freshman year.

emeraldisles's avatar

Thank you for all the great answers. I just don’t see putting myself through that kind of misery where everyone is hugging each other and crying when I’d be doing otherwise.

SuperMouse's avatar

For the record, I have been out of high school a long, long time and I have never for a single second regretted my choice to avoid dances.

CaptainHarley's avatar

I didn’t attend mine, but that was largely because I was a nerd and girls didn’t find me attractive. : )

Jude's avatar

Here is what I remember of prom: cheesy photos taken; eating pasta with (red tomato) sauce whilst wearing a white dress (I was worried that I’d get sauce on my dress!); the dance itself was boring, but, the party afterwards was fun (drinking and recreational drugs); passing out.

If I didn’t go, I wouldn’t care. If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t go. Really, you’re not missing out.

Blueroses's avatar

These can be memorable years of your life, but they’re definitely not the best and thank God for that!
I remember the night-before-graduation party much better than the actual ceremony. Why not have an Anti-Prom with a few friends and celebrate your graduation in your own way?

If the people don’t mean anything to you, the formal occasions won’t do anything for you. Do something you enjoy.

DominicX's avatar

It sounds like there’s not much reason to go if you know it’s going to be negative and you don’t care about most of the people there. To go just for the sake of going seems pointless to me, especially if it’s most likely going to end up being a bad experience. Why waste time? But the fact that you even asked the question shows maybe a little doubt. Just throwing that out there…

DeanV's avatar

I didn’t have a high school graduation, and I really don’t feel like I missed much. If you don’t want to go, don’t go. I’m sure you won’t regret it.

FutureMemory's avatar

@emeraldisles I hated all those people, don’t regret not going for a second.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

At the time of my senior prom and graduation, I didn’t want to go to either. My last year was at a different school than my first 3 years and none of my friends were there. The graduation ceremonies are basically to celebrate with your friends/peers and a lot of it feels like a popularity contest. I only went because my grandfather came to town and wanted to see the show so I paid for the cap and gown.

You should be able to borrow a cap and gown to get some head shots taken to share with family or friends and skip the rest of the stuff. The odds are the rest of your life is going to far eclipse 4 years, go for it!

Keep_on_running's avatar

I went to mine. I didn’t see much point of it though, it was just “blah”. There were no awesome memories or much excitement. It was just an exercise in superficiality.
People judging what everyone else was wearing, sucking up to teachers and the like. It wasn’t my thing at all, but then again most social occasions aren’t.
Don’t worry about it, what society says should be some of the best moments of your youth is just BS, how can you regret something you never were interested in?

tedd's avatar

I didn’t attend prom either year that I was eligible to. Both times due to a broken heart.

I attended graduation. I never really thought about skipping it, but honestly it was by in large for my parents.

gailcalled's avatar

Being with most of the same kids from third grade on, i enjoyed my graduation. However, the guy i was madly in love with was on a foreign exchange program and not available. So I went to the prom with a male friend. It was boring, tedious, pretentious and utterly unmemorable.

Soupy's avatar

I went to my prom, but I skipped out early on my graduation. The prom was good fun, but it certainly wasn’t a life experience I’d be lost without, and I’ve lost nothing from missing most of my graduation.

If you feel that these events will make you feel negative, then don’t go. So long as there won’t be any negative academic consequences for not attending, who gives a toss?

xnightflowerx's avatar

I didn’t go to my senior prom because I had zero interest in school dances and also you had to drop like $40 or something to go, which was utterly ridiculous. Also, I might have been out of state at a convention that weekend making money and better memories with friends, and raving, which is much more fun then boring school dance music! I don’t regret missing the prom.

I only showed up at prom when I was a junior because my best friend was a photographer for the yearbook and had to take pictures, so I went as his photo assistant, we weren’t there for very long. I wore a poorly made dress I sewed myself (in the days before I was a professional seamstress! lol) It was pretty lackluster, we danced once there, but we were there to document everyone else’s night. After we got home we made dinner together and danced in my living room, which is a much better memory then being surrounded by people we didn’t care about that didn’t care about us.

I did go to my graduation though, and I don’t regret that. Though it was utterly boring, and ridiculously hot, graduation and swing-out. Even though I had very few friends that hadn’t already graduated. But I was the first of my dad’s six kids to graduate on time with the cap, gown, actual for real diploma and good grades too. And I was proud of that and got to show them that hey, someone did it right! I also received the art department award so I got to have my art teachers talk me up and give me a piece of wood with my name on it. My diploma and award live in a box now.

High school is not the best years of your life and you won’t regret missing that stuff if you don’t place importance in those things. Especially the prom, its a waste of time.

nromstadt's avatar

@emeraldisles It’s still a bit early, so keep an open mind about going to graduation. If nothing else, just go to say that you went—and sit there quietly, thinking to yourself how glad you are that it is over. Take it as a closure to high school and just be proud of yourself that you did it. Let everyone else have their fake emotions… and take all of their facebook pics with the graduation gowns.

Just think, it may be the closure to the end of the ‘best part’ of their lives but the beginning to yours. Wow, that was cheesy.

Paradox25's avatar

There is no point in attending either event if it will stress you out more. I know many people who had never attended their proms, but I don’t know many that ditched their graduation ceremony.

Negative people are negative regardless of whether or not they’re the majority in attendence. Also, neither of these events will be memorable in a positive way for yourself if the same jackoffs will be there to give you bad vibes. Trust your gut here since gut feelings are usually correct.

Linda_Owl's avatar

I did not attend either my high school prom (I was bean-pole skinny in the era of curves – so no one asked me to the prom), nor did I attend my high school graduation (this was due to the fact that my step-father was an alcoholic & I did not want to take a chance on him making a scene). I was not part of the dating scene in high school, so the prom was a take-it or leave-it scenario, & I picked up my diploma a few days after the graduation ceremony. Then I got a job, then an apartment, & moved myself out of my family’s home, & then I was on my own. It was great to not have to share a house with 8 people.

Jen9003's avatar

I do not know you at all, so i do not know what you like and what you dont like but I’ve been graduated for only 4 years now and I’m very glad I went to both my prom and graduation. I feel I would have deeply regretted not going. You do not need a date to go to prom. And you certainly do mot need to fit in to go and have fun. I have fun going out and dancing alone if I have to! It’s what you make of it. Whatever situation your in with other people, no matter what don’t let anyone get you down! As far as graduation goes, that was boring but at the same time it was emotional for me. It was a chapter in my life that I was closing and it was a big realization of what I have accomplished in the past 12 years. I am in a totally different place and I’m surrounded by different people.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther