How do you help a friend in a domestic violence situation?

I would and have opened my house up as a safe place to crash. I’ve spoken to police and advocated. I’ve confronted the abuser and told him to shove off.

But most of all I was there when she was ready to talk. When ever she was ready.

Find out who and where are the resources in your area for her to contact. This is a good site, with lots of info and instructions on how to get help in your area. And @nikipedia , be a good friend but look after yourself as well. You may well have a target on you, now. Not trying to scare you, just always be aware of what’s going on around you, vis a vis the abuser. I used to work at a battered womens shelter.

I agree with @JilltheTooth

Gut instinct is you most likely want to do is open your house up to this person, but your friend’s partner may know where you live and you’re the first person they’re going to be tracking down in case they can’t find her.

Remember that scene from The Town when they busted down that guys door?

Find friends of friends for the person to stay with. I speak from experience that a bold abuser will likely look to harass firstline friends/family first in retaliation for helping the abused.

There is nothing you can do to stop the abuse. The most important part you can play in your friends life is to stay in her life. Don’t let her (assuming it’s a her) abusive partner push you away or let her push you away. The abuser wants to isolate the victim as much as possible. Make it obvious that you are remaining friends, and are keeping in regular contact no matter how ugly things may get.

Yes, but ONLY if the friend was really ready to face reality and get the apropriate help they need. I would not allow an open door policy to ongoing drama. If she is ready to really go and take on her recovery work, then of course.

Be supportive and encourage them to get out.
but beware of the abuser.

She is already out, but she has nowhere to go.

Why the fuck do people do this.

Check the various Womens groups in your area, places like Planned parenthood and Womens Clinics will often have connections to underground help networks. They have to be very secretive, and only a few people tend to know about it, but it can’t hurt to try. Suggest that she never go anywhere alone (if at all possible) and try to connect up with any shelters or safe groups. I hope the link I gave above will help.

@Coloma do you think that a loving, supportive friend might help a victim of domestic violence to get to the point where she is ready to face the reality? I mean @nikipedia is quite a long time jelly who is nothing short of brilliant and full of common sense. I think the tone of the question combined with what we know of the asker indicate that she is not interested in getting wrapped up in ongoing drama, but wants sincerely to help a friend in need.

@Coloma : Your flippant reference to domestic violence as “ongoing drama” is disgusting.

@nikipedia : Rape crisis centers and hotlines and suicide hotlines also may be good resources for help in your area. They might also have information about free legal services if your friend needs them. I have a call in to my friend that ran the shelter where I used to work, hopefully she’ll have more info as well.

You do as you are. Support them and continue to let them know you are there for them in whatever they need, whenever they need it. Assure the person that they will be ok and to do the hard things needed.
Follow your gut as to what you would hope for in support if you were in the situation.

I hope all stays safe. Sometimes it gets harder before it can get better.
Prayers for all.