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Bart19's avatar

What are your views on getting married young?

Asked by Bart19 (1020 points ) February 2nd, 2012

I got married at nineteen. I’m twenty now and my wife is twenty-three. Most of the people I tell stare at me blankly as if I just announced I’m dying. Some mention statistics and imply we won’t make it. Older people especially treat me as if I have been terribly naive. Even more go on about sowing the wild oaths and blantantly say I will regret it. Some congratulate me and others envy me.

It makes me wonder, what is your view fellow Flutherites? Are they positive? Negative? Or does it depend on the individual?

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17 Answers

Symbeline's avatar

Meh. If you guys thought it was right and are happy right now, then more power to both of you. People older than you who criticize you should probably consider the devastating amount of divorces that happen with married couples from all age ranges. Fuck it, just be happy until it lasts, or until death do you part.

jonsblond's avatar

It worked for us. We married at the age of 21 and we’ll be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this April. It hasn’t always been easy, but we never gave up. I love the man more than I ever have and feel very lucky to be living my life with my best friend.

john65pennington's avatar

I was 21 and my wife was 18. We knew what we wanted and that was each other,

Its been 46 years together and no regrets here on either side.

If both people are mature and sincere, then I say go for it.

Worked for us. Still happy together.

mazingerz88's avatar

As long as you are both happy and…wait, even if at times you find yourself unhappy…it just does NOT matter what age you got married. There will always be benefits and consequences. It’s how you tip the balance between the two that would make your relationship unique.

Sure, it’s easy and sometimes necessary to compare yourself to others but you should not make the conclusion you would experience the exact same marriage patterns. You threw the dice, the ball is rolling, the rocket has launched, Elvis has left the building, Obama won, there are new planets out there…enjoy your Life and quit wondering already! Lol.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Interesting you say sowing “the wild oaths”, instead of “oats”.

Freudian slip?

No doubt in the years to come, in your young marriage, you will indeed sow the wild “oaths” of a youthful betrothal. I hear those oaths can taste bitter, or sweet, hot or cold, depending upon how you mix and serve them up.

Blackberry's avatar

I don’t think most modern young people should be getting married anytime soon.

Keep_on_running's avatar

I honestly would advise them to get their education and career sorted out first; just as a back-up in case things don’t turn out. I don’t know what the rate of divorce among young people is exactly, but more often than not, I think people regret it, or at least wished they’d have waited a little longer.

Sunny2's avatar

It really all depends on the couple. I’ve know early marrieds who celebrated their 50th anniversaries and older marrieds who didn’t last 4 years. If you are both absolutely serious about making it work it will. It depends on your commitment to each other. Assuming you grow together and not apart over three next few years, you can make it.

tranquilsea's avatar

I met my hubby when I was 19 and he was 21. We married a year later and had our first child a year after that. I know a lot of people thought we were crazy and that we wouldn’t last but we have. Three kids, a lot of history and 18 years and we are still going strong.

Don’t let the naysayers get you down.

marinelife's avatar

It totally depends on the people and the relationship. If people are concerned, it’s because they know how much people change between 20 and 25.

You and your wife will, like every married couple, have to work on the relationship and your communication. Keep talking. Keep enjoying some experiences together, Keep the romance going.

YARNLADY's avatar

Some people make it work, most don’t.

JaneraSolomon's avatar

Wise men say… only fools rush in.
-Elvis Presley

TheIntern55's avatar

I think if you are happy together, and if you work well together, you can get married whenever you want, whether it be at 16 or 60.

dubsrayboo's avatar

I got married the first time when I was 19. That was a mistake because I was so mentally fragile from past abuse and my forming mental illness. My ex was just not ready either for all the trials that landed in our laps. I married again when I was 25 and was better able to handle a relationship, children and life.

When my girls start thinking about marriage and they want to marry at a young age I’ll strongly discourage it and ask them to get their college in first. It’s still their choice and I’ll love and accept them but I just don’t want them hurting the way that I did.

fizzbanger's avatar

I married at 23, but that’s when I knew I felt comfortable, secure, and ready. Perhaps everyone reaches this point at a different age (or not at all!).

People will always judge, whether positively or not. Common misconceptions at first were that we were super Christian or that I was knocked up.

cookieman's avatar

Theoretically, I think folks should get through college and get your career/job rolling first. Make sure you can take care of yourself (financially and emotionally).

However, if you’re in love, respect each other, and are working hard at it… who the hell am I (or anyone else) to judge?

YARNLADY's avatar

In my opinion, when people get married, they should be sure that both partners have the same goals and expectations.

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