Social Question

mignondefleur's avatar

If you are straight, would you ever consider dating gays/lesbians?

Asked by mignondefleur (135 points ) February 2nd, 2012

Whether just to try it (for fun?) or be seriously involved in a homosexual relationship.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

49 Answers

everephebe's avatar

There are far too many problematic terms, phrases, and labels in your question for me to even begin to unpack your question enough to answer it.

King_Pariah's avatar

I think to answer this question one has to take into account that it isn’t black and white when it comes to sexual preferences but rather an array of preferences. The Kinsey scale does a good job (though admittedly a bit incomplete which is why a more developed scale is in the process of being developed) of showing this with six (technically 7) levels of sexual preferences being:

X: Nonsexual
0:Completely heterosexual
1:Predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2: Mostly heterosexual, more than incidentally homosexual
3: Equally homosexual and heterosexual
4: Mostly homosexual, more than incidentally heterosexual
5: Predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6: Completely homosexual

Okay so with that established I suppose you could 0–2 is the heterosexual range which would make me heterosexual (I’m more like a 1.5 with interest in extremely effeminate mtf transsexuals and a very few effeminate guys). Thus yes, I wouldn’t mind dating/being in a relationship with someone with a penis as long as they were a mtf transsexual or an extremely effeminate male.

jonsblond's avatar

<——-female

Why would I consider dating a lesbian when I know that I love men and I love me some dick? I can appreciate the beauty of a woman but I’m interested in men. They are the ones that do it for me, not women. Is that bad?

jazmina88's avatar

sure….chemistry is chemistry.

I like dick too. but

I dont get around much anymore.

mignondefleur's avatar

@jonsblond I get ya. @everephebe doesn’t.lol!;P

jonsblond's avatar

@mignondefleur When I wrote my answer it almost sounded homophobic to me but if you knew me you would know I’m far from that. It seems like a person has to swing both ways these days to be accepting of everyone. If a person is heterosexual they must be homophobic, right?~ ugh (my BIL is gay and in a 20 yr relationship, my aunt is a lesbian and in a 30 yr relationship, and one of my sisters is a lesbian and in a 7 yr relationship)

We (my family) all know who we are attracted to and don’t need to consider anything else.

woodcutter's avatar

What do you mean by the word “date”?

Aethelflaed's avatar

Just FYI, gay people don’t exist so that straight people can experiment and try things out. Gay people have feelings. If there’s no reason to think you would actually ever enjoy sex with that person, or love that person, it’s really a jerk thing to use them in a one-way street relationships just for funsies.

everephebe's avatar

@Aethelflaed Yes the “just to try it (for fun?)” part is what really rankles me about this question.

jonsblond's avatar

oh sure, because every guy that wanted to have sex with me(female) did it because they loved me. please~

King_Pariah's avatar

I know a couple guys and gals who tried it out for fun. Just because it’s “morally wrong” doesn’t mean people don’t do it.

woodcutter's avatar

This whole q gives traction to the idea that this is something one just ups and chooses for a change of pace. It seems to me that it is much more biological than that. I’m hardly one to speak from experience but it doesn’t seem like a casual decision one can make. Not to say It hasn’t happened. I just don’t know enough about it. If I were single I personally would be very attracted to females if there was a need or want for companionship, or “a date”.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@jonsblond I don’t think I ever said that they did, or even that they should have to, love you. I did say that they should abstain if they don’t think they ever could love you or enjoy sex with you.

Jenniehowell's avatar

@jonsblond take it from this lesbian – your answer isn’t homophobic – it sums up what I would think any “straight” person would think.

Perhaps it’s the use of labels in this question but the question really to me makes no sense at all. If someone were really straight then why on earth would something so gay be popping into their head? Of course we all (should) know of the Kinsey scale but this question doesn’t take that into account – it simply goes directly to the ends of the scale with straight & non.

A technically straight person wouldn’t think trying homosexuality may be fun would they? I’ve had sex with plenty of people for fun but they were women & that’s because I’m a lesbian. Sex with men isn’t fun – it’s more like a chore that one would do for the purpose of breeding.

I’ve been involved with plenty of women who had never been with women before & had only been with men but if those women were straight I’d have never been on their radar… Or should I say gaydar?

I’d say that there’s no such thing as a straight person playing gay for fun times (that is of course outside of prison where some are “gay for the stay” & college where the stupidity of youth has people trying gay on for size as a faddish attention getter or for shock value).

mignondefleur's avatar

@Jenniehowell I totally agree with every single thing you said. I am straight, I was simply asking a question which I never intended to get people offended or anything. I read all of your answers and I could definitely say that Fluther.com helps me more than any academic book can because I get answers straight from people and not from a non-living thing. Plus, you get to have a conversation such as this.

I’ve known lesbian friends who started as straight girls in high school and ended up lesbians before they entered college. I’ll quote my friend on this, “I just want to know the difference between girl to girl relationship and boy to girl relationship” My friend experimented with her straight friend and they ended up enjoying each other’s company (they said they would try it for a week, if it’ll work) and as of now they’ve already celebrated their 7th year together. Frankly, nothing’s impossible, as @jazmina88 wrote, “chemistry is chemistry”..just saying.

I do believe @jonsblond said what she said because she’s straight and @Jenniehowell said what she said because she’s a lesbian and both understood each side of the story. Anyway, NO NEED TO ARGUE ON THIS AS THIS IS JUST A QUESTION. Again, I do apologize if this question or I have offended you in any way. Won’t happen again. Have a good one folks!;)

FutureMemory's avatar

Nope. I am not attracted to men.

I rank a zero on @King_Pariah‘s gay spectrum list.

Bellatrix's avatar

I think @King_Pariah‘s post sums up my feeling on this topic. I would probably rate myself as a 1–2 mostly straight but not 100% there. So yes, if I was not married, I would not exclude the possibility of falling for a woman. It wouldn’t be about ‘trying it for fun’ as much as accepting I believe I could find a woman sexually and emotionally attractive enough to date her.

Soupy's avatar

Though I’m not straight, I don’t think it’s right to date someone “just for fun” if you’re not attracted to them. Homosexuals have feelings just the same as everyone else. I assume most straight people would be hurt if they found out that their partner was gay and dating them “just for fun”.

JLeslie's avatar

I can competely understand the appeal of a lesbian relation, but I simply am not attracted to women in that way. And, I don’t mean specifically sexually, I mean I never feel compelled to want to date a woman. I find women very attractive, but never want to have sex with them, or even kiss or touch them sexually. It does not gross me out or anything, I just never had a feeling I want to do it the way I do with a man. I love spending time with women, would happily be roomates with a woman if I was not married, to the extent that I love the idea of living with best friends who I love and care about. But, date a woman, just not my gig for whatever reason.

tedd's avatar

I have never had a physical attraction to another man, so no I doubt I would.

Mariah's avatar

No, if I were straight I would not consider dating a lesbian. It would be completely unfair to her and would be “leading her on.” Just like I wouldn’t like to find out my (hypothetical) boyfriend is gay.

jazmina88's avatar

To clarify, I would not sleep with a woman because of the sex, it would be relationship. I am not a homophob. I tried to be open to love.

BTW, I have dated a woman. or 2 in the past.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Well, since I’d consider dating straight people…probably some straight people would consider dating me…of course then they would no longer identify as straight as it wouldn’t make sense…my partner used to be straight…now that he’s with me, a person who doesn’t identify as a woman though I’m categorized as his opposite sex (different from gender), the label straight doesn’t make sense for him…in other news, my male-sexed gay best friend and I have been lately exploring deepening our sexual relationship because truth be told, when two people (not dicks and vaginas) are intimate and close, things can happen..you just have to let it instead of being all uppity and say things like ’ I would NEVER sleep with another woman’ or something.

Blackberry's avatar

You’re going to have to elaborate. Obviously, if I’m not attracted to someone, I won’t date them. I’m not attracted to men, and a lesbian won’t be attracted to me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Blackberry Never say never is what I say. Things aren’t as clear-cut as you think.

Hain_roo's avatar

Why would I consider dating someone of my own sex if I’m straght? I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that…

Blackberry's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You’re right. Maybe with a little talking up, some exceptions can be made for a few men I’ve seen (Oh god, what have I done….).

syz's avatar

I don’t understand the premise of your question.

MrItty's avatar

The question, as written, is self-contradictory. If you are considering dating someone of your own gender, you are attracted to someone of your own gender. By definition, you are therefore not straight.

jca's avatar

I am a woman and I’m attracted to men. I have liked men since I was 3 years old, and I had a crush on the local 16 year old, who I used to jump up and down and clap every time I saw him.

Should that ever change, I will go with my feelings when and if it happens.

deni's avatar

I’m a woman and straight, but I’ll label myself as “curious”. Though I feel it’s unlikely that I’ll never have sex or a relationship with another woman, I’m open to the possibility of it. The female body is so beautiful!

TexasDude's avatar

Wait… what?

Are you asking if I (a hetero person) would enter into a relationship with a lesbian? Or if I would enter a relationship with a gay man? I r confuze.

And if you’re asking what I think you’re asking, then yes, there is a gay woman on Fluther who I would marry in a heartbeat.

marinelife's avatar

No, I am not sexually attracted to the same sex.

chyna's avatar

Isn’t that the point of being straight or gay or bisexual?
You date who you are attracted to.

mazingerz88's avatar

I’m a guy. I’m straight. But oh yeah, I’ll date a hot lesbian! ( who might be considering turning bisexual ) Lol.

SpatzieLover's avatar

This question as presented is preposterous.

Male's avatar

If you’re straight, why would you date someone who is gay? That defeats the definition of being straight in the first place.

If you would do it just for “fun,” then you’re not straight. You’re either bi or gay.

Coloma's avatar

I have had gay friends but I am 100% hetero so, no.
I like penises too much, and while I can be extremely attracted to all people based on intellectual and common interests, something about another woman with a strap on just doesn’t do it for me at all. No offense intended, just raw honesty. I just don’t think I could go through with that without falling on the floor laughing.

I dated a man once that I really liked, but, he disclosed about 3 weeks into our exploration his fetish for wearing womens undergarments…I just couldn’t go there. A guy dancing around in frilly lingerie and high heels just doesn’t do anything for me.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Coloma How bout a dancing hippo?

FutureMemory's avatar

@Coloma I like penises too much

No such thing!

Coloma's avatar

@mazingerz88 LOL
@FutureMemory Yes, yes there is. And they need to alive penises, engorged with real blood not latex. haha

HungryGuy's avatar

First, I just want to say that anything that two (or more) people do together that’s mutually consensual is okay by me.

But as for me, I’m a person with XY chromosomes (i.e. male), and I would only date a person who has XX chromosomes (i.e. female).

woodcutter's avatar

I could be good friends with a lesbian…easily. Doesn’t mean we would be obligated to fuck. I really like the look of a woman and one who was a little butchy would be fun actually. I couldn’t tolerate hanging with a prissy or flamboyant dude. ‘th hell would we do?

SavoirFaire's avatar

Would I ever consider dating a lesbian? Sure. But would she ever consider dating me? ~

Arewethereyet's avatar

I’m straight and I have a total girl crush on Mariska Hargitay.

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