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shrubbery's avatar

What is your pick for the least romantic supposed "love song" out there?

Asked by shrubbery (9833 points ) February 14th, 2012

Leading on from marinelife’s question, as soon as I saw it I suddenly got Meatloaf’s “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” stuck in my head and it hasn’t gone away. Maybe I’m just bitter about Valentine’s day and my brain decided to pick the least romantic song I could think of. Can you think of any more songs that are purported as love songs but just don’t cut it? Please share!

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36 Answers

TexasDude's avatar

Pretty much any rap/hip-hop song where the singer laments cheating over and over again but does it anyway, or wishes to skeet upon his lover’s face because his shawty be so fine wit dat ass, or he wants her to “kiss [him] thoo da phoan.”

Blackberry's avatar

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

MilkyWay's avatar

Dear lord, I can’t stop laughing…

TexasDude's avatar

I do what I can.

GracieT's avatar

How about Every Breath You Take by the Police? I know it has been out forever, but a friend and I went to a wedding and the couple danced to it! I thought that doesn’t happen anymore, but they did!

Blackberry's avatar

Since I’m finally done laughing, I was going to say Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up”.

GracieT's avatar

@Blackberry, believe me- it was harder than hell to not laugh! :o) They were an older couple (not that that excuses them or anything!) I just hope that they weren’t serious, that they were kidding. (I haven’t asked them yet.)

6rant6's avatar

@GracieT Still, that’s better than Roxanne.

ucme's avatar

Any stomach churning, vomit inducing crap dished out from the soppy gob of Celine…...oh you know who.

Blackberry's avatar

@GracieT I automatically assume anyone who even moves at all to that song is joking…. :)

GracieT's avatar

Please excuse me if it isn’t PC to say this now, but how about that pathetic song by Whitney Huston? I think it was called “I Will Always Love You.”

6rant6's avatar

“You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine”
aka the Narcissists’ anthem.

WestRiverrat's avatar

‘I will always love you’ by Dolly Parton. It was originally a break up song, now it is one of the most popular on Valentines day. Go figure.

Earthgirl's avatar

I immediately thought of that old song, I think it was by Paul Anka, You“re Havin’ My Baby. I have always hated that song. It not the sentiment that’s so bad. It’s just so horribly sappy!! In fact I think the word sappy must have been invented to describe this song! Therems another really old song called Honey that’s almost as bad but I don’t remember the artist.

tranquilsea's avatar

“I Will Always Love You” was a song Dolly Parton wrote when her song writing partner retired.

I have to put another vote in for “Every Breathe You Take”. It’s a stalker song.

SuperMouse's avatar

Charlene by Stephen and the Colberts (I couldn’t find Colbert’s original video – bummer.)
All Over You – The Spill Canvas

janbb's avatar

That Meatloaf song – you know, that one!

fundevogel's avatar

Ready? Okay.

Skullcrusher Mountain – Jonathon Coulton
Poor Jackie – Man Man
Pearls From the Pine – Demis CousCous
I Want You, But I Don’t Need You – Momus
Idiot Prayer – Nick Cave
I Put a Spell On You – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
Ava Adore – The Smashing Pumpkins
Inflatable – Tim Minchin
If You Really Loved Me – Tim Minchin
Baby, I Love You – The Yayhoos
A Month Dead – Stephen Lynch
Secret Identity – How I Became the Bomb

also, Father Figure weirds me out.

Just assume they’re NSFW.

TexasDude's avatar

@fundevogel major brownie points/lurve for Skullcrusher Mountain.

fundevogel's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I love that song. Who hasn’t wondered if they used too many monkeys? We aren’t mindreaders afterall.

TexasDude's avatar

@fundevogel have you heard the Tetrastar cover? You probably won’t like it, but I really enjoy it.

fundevogel's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I hadn’t, but I have to admit I prefer the inappropriate country twang of the original.

Earthgirl's avatar

Here it is! Bobby Goldsboro-Honey
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59BZxgohr9g
What the hell??!!!

Earthgirl's avatar

You’re Havin’ My Baby
Blaaahhhhhh!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bwW07sCwoY

blueiiznh's avatar

I can’t believe I am even posting this. I do have a barf bag handy for all who need one.

Muskrat Love

marinelife's avatar

The only thing this thread is doing for me is making a list of other candidates to replace the earworm Blackberry gave me by putting The Rains of Africa in my original thread.

But, @blueiiznh, Muskrat Love???? May Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam haunt you for days!

GracieT's avatar

@blueiiznh, make it go away! Pretty please? I had completely forgotten about the Captain and Tenille! And now they will haunt my brain all day! Make it go away!

blueiiznh's avatar

@marinelife @GracieT don’t shoot the messenger. I did not ask the question. I however am repulsed at my answer. I never would have considered it to be a more haunting song than You light up myLife

The 70’s musically were summed up in this Dickens Quote:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

GracieT's avatar

@blueiiznh, I was born in 1970. Luckily I avoided most of the 70’s music!

blueiiznh's avatar

@GracieT don’t get me wrong, there was amazing music made in the 70’s

deni's avatar

OH MY GOD, EVERYONE. THIS: R KELLY’S PREGNANT so bad…..............................Oh R. Kelly.

GracieT's avatar

I don’t know what happened, it lost my ;0)!

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Ted Nugent- My Love Is Like A Tire Iron

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