Social Question

MilkyWay's avatar

So, how can one know if they are straight or bisexual?

Asked by MilkyWay (13162 points ) February 16th, 2012

What is bisexuality? How can it be recognised?
I’ve recently learnt that being straight and kissing a member of the same sex doesn’t necessarily make you gay, so is that bisexuality?

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23 Answers

TexasDude's avatar

Are you sexually aroused by kissing people of the same sex? Could you possibly see yourself in a romantic relationship with them?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I wouldn’t worry about trying to figure it out at your age. Stay away from labels and just let it play out for a bit. Don’t buy any extra stress.

wundayatta's avatar

Do not let others box you into a category. There are a million different kinds of sexuality. Yours is yours. Resist the urge to label it. Resist the urge to be labeled. Sexuality is a good thing so long as you do not hurt anyone else. That is the most important thing. Do not hurt others. All else should be pleasure. Anything that comes between you and pleasure is bad. If labels mess you up, they are bad and you should ignore them.

MilkyWay's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard No, I don’t think so.
@Adirondackwannabe @wundayatta I get what you two are saying, but I just wanted a distinction in my head, if you know what I mean.

Aethelflaed's avatar

Eh, it’s kind of an ill-defined term. Or rather, there are multiple definitions, and it depends on who you’re talking to.

One definition is, if you’ve ever enjoyed physically being with (kissing or sex) a member of both sexes. Another is, anything that isn’t a 0 or a 6 on the Kinsey scale. Another is that bisexuality is only a 3 on the Kinsey scale. Others are like, bisexuality as a definition really doesn’t work (in general or for me personally), bring on the sexual fluidity.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@MilkyWay I guess the plain vanilla answer would be to apply Fiddle’s test to guys and girls. It’s also so much more complex than that. Give me a little time to work on it?

MilkyWay's avatar

@Aethelflaed Aaah! Confusing, sonfusing, nsoncondufing…
@Adirondackwannabe Hehe, sure :)

TexasDude's avatar

@MilkyWay then I’d say you aren’t really bi. Human sexuality is kind of a continuum anyway.

MilkyWay's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard It sure is :/
Thanks Fiddle <3

TexasDude's avatar

@MilkyWay no problem, dearie.

AshLeigh's avatar

If you’re not sexually or romantically attracted to people of the same sex, I wouldn’t call it bisexual.
To me kissing people of the same sex is not really a big deal. It’s just kissing, and nothing more.
Some people would call it bi-curious. I like to call it hetero-flexible.. XD

Jude's avatar

I don’t mind having sex with guys, but, I am not emotionally attracted to them. I wouldn’t say that I’m bi.

Women: sex and emotion = yes

Fluthyou's avatar

I’m going to go with the hippie response… you don’t have to identify as anything. And if you do identify as straight, you’re still free to love who ever you choose. I also think that regardless of dictionary definitions the definition of “bisexual” changes from person to person.

jazmina88's avatar

Dont box yourself in with labels.
Kiss whomever you desire, within reason.

If there is attraction, there is no guilt.

Sunny2's avatar

People discover this about about themselves at different ages. From what I read, it can be as early as they begin to have sexual feelings. For some, they know and there’s never a question. For others, there may be some confusion. It all will play out as you mature. I hope you will be at ease where ever you eventually land. The world isn’t as uptight as it used to be.

downtide's avatar

Kissing’s no big deal. It’s more about having sex with, or wanting to. Or wanting to be in romantic relationships with. Did the kissing turn you on and make you want to have sex with them?

Sexuality is a continuum and I find myself moving up and down the scale. Through my early teens I wavered between thinking I was straight or that I was gay, because I didn’t know there was anything inbetween. When I was 18 I figured out that maybe I was bi, and I’ve been happy with that label ever since. Still, whether I have a preference for men or for women is something that varies over time, but I never get to the extremes of the scale and I never lose attraction for both.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@MilkyWay Bisexual to me would be if you find someone sexually attractive and you really don’t care if they are male or female.

mattbrowne's avatar

Measure arousal.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I realised that I was bisexual when I accepted that I found both males and females sexually attractive. For a long time I thought I was gay but as I got a bit older I became more and more attracted to men to the point where I am now in a longterm relationship with one! However, I have experimented and enjoyed the experience with women and would happily have sex with (the right) women again (although I have no plans to cheat on or leave my boyfriend so I am talking hypothetically here).

I remember the day I accepted that I was, at the very least, bisexual. It gave me a lot of peace of mind.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@AshLeigh I love “hetero-flexible”!! I’ll have to use that from now on. =0)

I’ve always called myself bi-curious, because I’m attracted to women and enjoy kissing women, but I’ve never had sex with a woman. I suppose I’ll begin calling myself hetero-flexible now!

AshLeigh's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate, right? Cracks me up. Haha.

MilkyWay's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe That’s a pretty decent defintion :)
@AshLeigh You’re a genuis. Thank you to everyone who answered and I respect and appreciate your advice <3

SecondHandStoke's avatar

One is only as straight or gay as their most recent relationship.

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