(NSFW) Would you have relations with someone who has the herpes virus?

If they knew, and I knew, and I really liked them, then yes I would probably have protected sex with them. I would be terrified though, which would probably ultimately cause some problems.

I would want them to tell me before sexual relations and then, yes, I would.

I have given this some thought. I think that I would hesitate.

First, this person and myself would have to have a doctors visit together, where both of us collectively could hear the results of another test for herpes. Just to be updated and informed, again.

I am amazed that this person would even tell you this. That should say something for that person.

I would inquire as to how this person contraticed herpes in the first place.

If you two truly love each other and you are informed of the consequences, to me, it would be a gamble. I would consider the whole picture and not just a roll in the hay and goodbye.

No matter how you look at it, it is a gamble.

Most likely not, but there are exceptions.

I answered this question on OkCupid, and said I would if proper precautions were taken.

I think probably no. I would have to feel very, very committed to take the risk.

Sure if we were dating. The herp is way overrated.

I don’t think it’d stop me. I mean a) dating has never meant sex to me even if I’m a pervy son of a bitch. b) there’s still two other orifices. c) there’s condoms and I’ve never broken one. d) in a way it would be hypocritical of me considering I have the cousin of herpes thanks to the pox.

No. Call me selfish or short sighted but the answer is still “no.”
There are enough other fish in the sea for both of us.

If I was 30 years younger my answer would be “Hell No.”

I’m in the “no” camp myself. I have never had an STD and while I understand some cases can be through no fault of the effected person cheating by a spouse/partner for instance, I wouldn’t really want to risk it. I have also been tested and can show “proof” of my sexual health.
Besides, while I would certainly practice safe sex in a new relationship, ultimately once it is established that everyone is is healthy I’d prefer to toss the condoms. ;-)

Yes, I would. I’d take what precautions I could, and consider it a calculated risk.

There would have to be many plusses to the idea of having sex with them for me to overcome that minus.

It seems selfish to say that I wouldn’t, but that is my honest opinion.

Tons of people have herpes. It doesn’t make them a lesser person, nor do I find them an abomination. However, I am very paranoid and I’d constantly be afraid that I contracted the virus. I believe that I’d rather just avoid having intercourse with them than put myself in that position.

The fear of catching it would prevent me from relaxing and giving my partner the full attention she deserves.
She’ll find a partner who will.

It would depend on how much I cared about the person/relationship. I could probably overcome my fear in the right circumstances.

No.

Well this depends really, do they have genital herpes? if this is the case then no. However if they just have the herpes virus then I would have little to no problem with that. For example if someone suffers from cold sores in the corner of their mouth once or twice a year but has no genital herpes then I would not even consider them to have the virus.

I have seen children as young as 6 or so with cold sores, and I’m fairly sure they did not get that from oral.

No.

No.

No. Not knowingly.

No. I had sort of a scare once, and in my moment of panic I realized that it would be it for casual sex for me. I’d tell them ahead of time, and expect them to not want to go through with it. I’d have to crusade to find a husband with the same strain and live happily ever after.

@poisonedantidote Your answer doesn’t make much sense. Yes, the herpes virus that causes genital herpes is the same as the one that causes cold sores (generally speaking, HSV-1 is the oral type, and HSV-2 is the genital type). If someone has a cold sore and goes down on you – guess what – you now have genital herpes. And even if there is now outbreak, they could still give it to you that way. Or kissing them you can get oral herpes. Some children who have the virus that breaks out orally, came from he mother through vaginal birth. This can happen (also possibly a herpes viral infection of the eye).

The virus is the virus, and no matter how it manifests itself, you can still contract it. So why does it change your answer depending upon where on the body the virus manifests? Just curious

@Ponderer983 I’m no expert, but it’s my understanding that the two types of herpes are different. You can get the oral sort on your genitals, but that’s not where that sort of virus likes to live. It wants too hang around your mouth, genital herpes wants to be on your junk. I’m guessing if you contracted oral herpes on your genitals the virus would ultimately migrate to the location it finds most hospitable—your mouth.

No, for the same reason as @LuckyGuy.

In fact, I was gonna use the fish in the sea analogy, too.

* gives @LuckyGuy the stink eye *

@fundevogel @poisonedantidote
Read all of this if you want, but the first section of oral herpes (hsv-1) confirms my statement http://www.emedicinehealth.com/oral_herpes/article_em.htm
Both cause genital lesions if that is the place through which you contracted the virus. therefore, if someone with oral gives it to someone via their genitals (even HSV-1), you’ve got genital herpes. And if someone with genital receives oral, then that person will have oral herpes.
Ahh the gift that keeps on giving.

@Ponderer983 Yeah, on initial contact, but then the virus travels to the spine to chill until it’s next outbreak. I don’t think subsequent outbreaks are usually genital. The virus isn’t in the genital region at this point and I think HSV-1 is genetically disposed to travel to mouth.

Also according to that article 85% of people are infected with HSV-1 by the time they’re 60. That’s not so good if you’ve got a zero tolerance for the herp in your sexual partners.

@bob_ You could have said “jellyfish”.

Or Penguins?

If I had fallen in love with that person and wanted to spend the rest of my life with them then yes, I would take that risk. If I just saw it as a potential fling then I wouldn’t.

Edit: I should add that, whilst I have never had genital herpes, I do get cold sores on my lip every so often, usually when I have been ill or run down. My boyfriend of a good few years has never had a cold sore. Whilst I try and stop him kissing me when I have one, he doesn’t have a problem with it and has told me, on a number of occasions to “get over it and let him kiss me”. That makes me feel very loved!

I’d avoid outbreaks but beyond that it wouldn’t really be a problem.

I don’t understand the stigma of this particular relatively harmless infection as opposed to everything else that two people swap via bodily fluids.

A quick chart based on 60% combined infection rate showing the chances someone you’ve swapped spit with wasn’t infected, by number of swapees.

1 | 40%
2 | 16%
3 | 6.4%
4 | 2.6%
5 | 1.5%

More than 5? Less than a 1% chance you haven’t already run into someone with the virus.

@funkdaddy Sounds like you’re making a good case for monogamy. ;-)

@LuckyGuy – or having grandma fill out a questionnaire and submit a fluid sample before smooching ya…

Can’t be too safe.

@funkdaddy You got that right.
By the way a nephew of mine has taught his toddlers to kiss everyone on the lips when they say goodbye.
Two weeks ago they were all puking and had diarrhea. Mom got a bug, and passed it one kid. Two days later the other kid got it. Two days later, dad, then grandma.

I hugged them goodbye and missed out on the whole fiasco.

We don’t really know what that virus can do and what it will morph into years from now. We do know that a little prevention goes a long way. Should we just give up? Why not just infect everyone at birth so they don’t have to worry later. (I am joking in case people can’t recognize it.)
I’ll continue to limit my partners to the half of the population that does not have it.

I will acknowledge that every person who has it, got it as a “gift” unknowing from someone else. I am also willing to bet there’s not one person on the planet who looks forward to an outbreak.
If we made a concerted effort to control and isolate it, theoretically we can wipe out this annoyance in two generations instead of waiting for medical science to develop a genetically modified attack virus treatment.
I’m just doing my part.

@LuckyGuy – I keep rereading that and trying to think of any way that’s possible. The only thing I can think of is you mean there should be

a) mandatory testing
b) full disclosure
c) isolation of populations based on HSV status
d) no longer allowing anyone who’s HSV+ to have offspring

Eliminating 60+% of the population seems an extreme method to not have to worry about cold sores in your dating pool. ~

@funkdaddy (I’m not dating by the way, but it I were…..)
Eliminating 60% of the population is not a big deal. There are lots of of people out there.
First, by choosing to only date females, I eliminate 50% right there.
I will only date single women – 50%
I will have nothing to do with drug or alcohol abusers (by some estimates 10%)
I am only interested in a range of ages -that eliminates ~ 85%
I will only date someone who is educated and has, or had, employable skills – eliminating another 60%.
And let’s throw the virus in there, too, using your 60%

Let’s do the math to find how many pass all the above tests. 0.5×0.5 x 0.9×0.15×0.4×0.4= 0.0054 Wow! Only 0.54%! I sure am picky. But am I? Out of a US population of 300 M that means my dating pool will only include 1.65 million women. I’ll survive.

My thoughts are we all can make a difference. It is 2012. We know that herpes is a virus and how it spreads. If all people who have it today made a conscious, concerted effort to not give the “Gift that keeps on giving” to others, the disease would dry up and go the way of the dodo bird. The ironic aspect of the situation is that they give the “gift” to someone they presumably care enough about to swap spit or rub genitals with.
Sure, some people do not know they are carriers, but by far, most people do know.

I want my partner to feel comfortable with my lips lightly touching anywhere on her body – and vice versa.
Yikes! With 1,650,000 eligible women out there, I’d better get busy!

@LuckyGuy It’s a little known fact but Penguins do not get Herpes – anywhere!

@janbb Know what they call a man who doesn’t have it anywhere? A lucky guy.
1,649,999 women, and one penguin.

waggles tailfeathers

I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do that.

Actually, yeah, I would.