Social Question

chelle21689's avatar

Is it just me, or do super friendly and happy people freak you out?

Asked by chelle21689 (5082 points ) February 18th, 2012

My cousin is seeing some new guy and he’s super friendly and super happy all the time. There’s something about him that makes me uncomfortable and annoyed. I mean, the first time I met him and he’s already offering to give me an oreo cheese cake from his job and stuff. There’s just something about him that I really don’t like and I have no idea why. Now my cousin wants us to go on a double date to vacation somewhere and I don’t want to.

I don’t even know if it’s him being nice that’s the issue. I know a lot of really nice people but they don’t annoy me at all. But this guy, I dont’ know…I have no reason to be uncomfortable or not like him but there’s just something about him that is odd to me.

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38 Answers

Coloma's avatar

I’m a super friendly and happy person, sooo….I’m biased. All I can say is I prefer super happy and friendly to super unfriendly and not happy.
Maybe it;s because you’re just not used to being around lively, happy, animated alive peeps! :/ ???

chelle21689's avatar

No, I don’t think that’s it. Because I know a lot of friendly and happy people. I feel like he tries too hard I guess….

tedibear's avatar

That’s exactly why, @chelle21689, he’s trying too hard. It sounds like he’s trying to win you over even though he probably doesn’t have too. And while it’s good to be friendly and happy, most people have a range of emotions. If he’s always happy, he may be repressing something. Not saying that he can’t have a positive outlook, or a happy disposition. Simply saying that if he’s over-the-top with the happy happy joy joy, he may be faking it.

KateTheGreat's avatar

Only if it doesn’t seem genuine, really.

Maybe you’re not used to his new found happiness. Either that or it could be that you don’t experience the same happiness within your relationship that your cousin has and it makes you feel uncomfortable. However, I do tend to feel uncomfortable when someone’s personality drastically changes in a small amount of time.

I’m going to end my pointless rambling, lol.

Coloma's avatar

I’d chalk it up to his being nervous and maybe a little insecure. Give it time, be kind. :-)

janbb's avatar

I am meeting many new people in my walking group who are not the same as me. Some are super friendly, genuine and kind. I find myself responding more positively than I ever though I would to their friendliness. I think for me the operative factor is sincerity.

Aethelflaed's avatar

Yes. Usually it’s because I can tell they’re faking it (like when they’re an employee in retail or food service. Trust me, you aren’t that happy to be making me a hazelnut mocha for minimum wage). Other times, it’s because they go over to the Alec Baldwin on Friends side, and I’m pretty sure there’s something deeply, deeply wrong with them.

Brian1946's avatar

Could it be that he’s somewhat intrusive with his exuberance?

I’m usually friendly and happy, but I don’t get in a person’s face with it.

YARNLADY's avatar

I love happy people.

King_Pariah's avatar

Only if a) they’re carrying something (potentially)lethal and/or b) they’re invading my personal space

Coloma's avatar

Extroverts are happy types, I’m big on personality profiling as a tool for better understanding self and others. I’m the “enthusiast” personalty, and am very genuine and sincere. Everyone has their own style in how they show up. Some take longer to warm up and open up and others are just wide open from the get go. Variety is the spice of life as they say.

AshLeigh's avatar

<—Friendly and happy. Usually…

digitalimpression's avatar

Freaks me out unless I know them enough to determine whether its psycho-happy or just happy.

GracieT's avatar

Not really- I’m one of those super happy and friendly people (as long as I take my meds! ;0) )

ucme's avatar

Depends, if they’re cool & generally “normal” folks then no, that’s okay.
On the other hand, if they point & giggle at pretty birds & flowers whilst dribbling copious amounts of saliva down their spongebob vests then yeah, i’m definitely freaked out!!

ragingloli's avatar

These people have something to hide. A dark, terrible secret. Witchcraft. Satanic rituals. Ritualistic serial murders. Being an handegg fan.
Do not pretend to be happy. I know you are drowning in despair. Just like me.

thorninmud's avatar

This makes me think of a Sicilian proverb an Italian friend once told me: “Beware the first man to befriend you in a new village. He will offer to take care of you, show.you the ropes, warn you of enemies. He offers this friendship to you, the newcomer, because you do not know that which the rest of the village already does – that he is a village outcast because everyone has discovered that it is he that can’t be trusted.”

That’s awfully cynical and categorical (and Sicily is hardly the model of social order, anyway) , but it does point to a possibility to watch out for.

I look for appropriateness in the affect of the people I’m dealing with. There’s plenty of room for personal variation, sure, but when either the level or tone of someone’s affect strikes me as being…well, misplaced, then I’ll want to understand why.

chelle21689's avatar

Well that’s the thing. What is it about his friendly manner that annoys me versus other lively friendly people? lol I guess we’ll see.

zensky's avatar

There are a few things there; one is maybe he just rubs you the wrong way. Maybe he’s trying too hard to make a good impression – and this is ticking you off as well. In general, super happy perky people are rare and too few and far between. There’s a fine line between happy and optimistic and psycho-happy. I hope you have stumbled upon the former and not the latter.

Coloma's avatar

Well yes, happy and psycho MANIC are two different things entirely. lol

Blackberry's avatar

There are levels. Some can definitely call me too happy, but there are others that I think are too happy sometimes.

cookieman's avatar

Well, there’s “happy” and then there’s “perky”. Put them together, and I want to start clubbing people. But then, I’m from Boston. We’re more likely to be sarcastic and grumpy.

I will say that the first time I visited San Diego, I almost slapped someone.

in sing songy voice
Goooodd morning!! How are yooouuu?!?!” – was how some woman greeted me one morning while out for a walk. I was polite to her, but in my head, I immediately thought, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

It’s terrible. It’s an east coast thing.

Coloma's avatar

@cprevite Bah…stay away from my happy mountain! ;-) lol

Coloma's avatar

It’s because us Californians gets LOTS of sunshine! :-D

cookieman's avatar

@Coloma: I’m sure your happy mountain is a lovely place simply because you’re there.

Bellatrix's avatar

I am a friendly, happy person too but I think you need to listen to your instincts. If you are not usually bothered by happy, friendly people, what is different about this guy? Perhaps he is just simply trying too hard, perhaps he is actually very shy? Or perhaps as @thorninmud suggested, there is something else going on. I would withhold judgement and avoid becoming too close until I was sure. My experience has been is a bad idea to ignore that little voice that tells you something is not right.

deni's avatar

Usually its not the happiness and friendliness that is annoying itself about people like that, but other qualities that are just magnified by the way they always act. I wish more people were happier and friendlier.

Ponderer983's avatar

Yes they do – makes me think they are hiding something because no one is that happy. Plus I’m for the Northeast where we are suspicious of friendly people O.o

john65pennington's avatar

It may be a gut feeling you have.

I, like Coloma, am a friendly and happy person. I am a people person.

You are having these vibes for some reason and I believe being friendly and happy has nothing to do with it.

Give it some time.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@chelle21689

Only if it’s forced and not genuine.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I would listen to your gut. Something is telling you watch out for him. Watch carefully.

linguaphile's avatar

They shoot super friendly, happy people in Minnesota, on sight. Just sayin’...

My point here—sometimes it does have to do with local culture. Maybe his level of friendliness doesn’t fit the culture norms of the area??

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

As long as I can assure myself that the person has no hidden agenda, I’ll give them the time to get comfortable with me or the situation.

MollyMcGuire's avatar

I don’t know if it’s just you, but I’m not freaked by people who are happy and friendly. Most of the people I am around are happy and friendly.

YARNLADY's avatar

I’m creeped out by people who are gloomy and miserable all the time. It’s catching, and I avoid them as much as possible.

augustlan's avatar

If your gut is telling you something is off, something probably is. It could just be a simple case of nerves. If so, he’ll settle down as you get to know him better. Or it could be something else. Only time will tell.

chelle21689's avatar

I think it’s because he talks WAY too much non-stop and tries hard. I’m willing to try to get to know him and give it a chance lol…

Coloma's avatar

He sounds like the ENTP personality, read up on it. ;-)

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