Social Question

auhsojsa's avatar

Why do we keep up with old friends on social media sites?

Asked by auhsojsa (2511 points ) February 19th, 2012

I’m thinking of quitting Facebook and just ready for a new real chapter in my life. I can’t believe it’s actually haunting me (to keep it or not)

What I do like about it is the easy contact through messages with artists, people I meet in college and stuff like that. I really have no other business on it and feel it a bit weird to add friends from the past. As if I have had meaningful discussions with them. Why do I feel like purging? Am I elitist? Is this natural? I feel like I’m being a hard ass for no good reason. I feel like nothing is intimate anymore. Facebook culture is purely look what I’m doing at this moment. I feel like it’s hanging with the mob, the popular people in high school all over again, and I purged from them too, even though I didn’t hate them. What is this overall feeling of being indifferent? My wife calls me a hermit already. Should I view life differently? I can never let go of blogging as it’s like a diary of my life on the computer. But I’m honestly just not feeling up to following others around. It’s kind of sad to say that I don’t want to follow certain people anymore. How can I justify unfollowing or unfriending. This is so ridiculous but this is what it has come to for me.

A bit about me.
Used to love journalism, I keep up to par with the currents, I love sports, I fancy myself a musician & artist, haven’t really written or recorded for almost a year now. Current college student, married soon to be father, need a job real bad. As you can tell I’m just trying to refine my life and tidy up the social medias. Got any similar struggles? I think the anxiety is catching up to me.

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8 Answers

AnonymousWoman's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. Actually, it seems pretty normal. I’ve noticed people saying they are cleaning their friends lists on my own Facebook news feed. It seems like more and more people are going for “quality” over “quantity” these days. If you don’t want to keep up with certain people, you don’t have to.

Hain_roo's avatar

I’m thankful for Facebook because I live far away from most friends and family right now and it keeps me connected to what’s happening at home.
Thankgod I only have one “look what I’m doing at this moment” friend and I keep him because he’s a doll in every other way. I love that I’ve been given a second chance to get to know some of my schoolmates, and at this time in my life it’s reasuring to know these guys are in the same boat, dealing with the same shit I am. We commiserate, we’re comrades. I maybe spend ten minutes a day on it, but I’m glad to know it’s there. If I were in my 20’s or 30’s I’m not sure if I’d have much use for it. My nephew is 15, he has 650 ‘friends’ WTF? That’s another thing- I only ‘friend’ people I actually know and like. If you want to thin out the crowd you can simply hide the content from those you don’t want to deal with instead of coming off like a hard ass and ‘unfriending’ them. Or just walk away for awhile and see how it feels.

marinelife's avatar

I go back and forth on Facebook and my participation a lot. I love the connections with distant cousins, but I have some “friends” I don’t care about at all.

Coloma's avatar

Whose “we”? I dumped my FB account after a year, I quickly lost interest in everyones daily ditherings. I found it shallow and a podium for narcissists. What makes you think I care to follow the blow by blow account of your kitchen remodel, and no, I don’t want to vote on what color tile you choose! Gah! LOL

cookieman's avatar

I feel the same as @marinelife. As such I occasionally trim the fat (as it were). I’ve incrementally gone from about 150 “friends” to about 45. I’m due for another cleansing.

Ultimately, I just want people whom I care about and the feeling is mutual. Old high school/college/work buddies are fine at first, but I soon realized there was a reason we didn’t keep up in real life.

auhsojsa's avatar

@cprevite But don’t you feel bad a bit? I mean obviously since you were friends with the 145, someone has had to have gone back and search your profile to see that you guys are no longer friends?

zenvelo's avatar

Why not just not participate for a while? You don’t ever have to comment or like someone’s posting. Disappearing on Facebook is as easy as not posting anything and not responding to anything.

If you find you miss it, you can always go back on.

cookieman's avatar

@auhsojsa: I felt bad at first, but then only one person of the 105 I cut messaged me to complain I “defriended” her. Apparently the other 104 agreed it was pointless or were too caught up in their own minutia they didn’t notice I was gone.

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