General Question

JonnyCeltics's avatar

(NSFW) What is your take/standard for safety on oral with someone new?

Asked by JonnyCeltics (2698 points ) February 20th, 2012

Condoms and sex, a sure thing. But oral sex is something different, it appears. “Let’s both get tested” is mature, but usually takes more time and the beginnings of a relationship. So otherwise, what else can be done, other than abstinence or playing with fire (read: std’s)? How about for something short-term, being it a weekend or one-night stand? Wondering people’s opinions, takes, processes, etc., if sharing at your wills…

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7 Answers

syz's avatar

Luckily, I’ve always been a serial long-term monogamist, so I’ve never had to deal with the very un-sexy sounding dental dam.

ETpro's avatar

I’m like @syz Of course, having been married now going on 35 years makes that pretty easy. But if I were back to dating at my age I don’t think I’d be likely to just sleep around. I love oral sex. And I don’t want any plastic in the way. So I would want to get to know a partner before sex, and be monagomous with them after hooking up. Of course that’s all speculative. At my age would anybody find me sexy? And would frustration mount till I just threw caution to the wind?

Smashley's avatar

It’s a question of comfort, to me. There are plenty of STI’s you can get from oral, though most of them fall under the curable/endurable category. That said, I’m not eager to get one. I think it’s important to discuss sexual health practices with any potential partner. If a person turns out to be well versed in sexual health, and is tested with some regularity, then I usually don’t have a problem taking a risk if they’re up for it (at least for oral. Vaginal/anal is something else entirely.) I’ll take it upon myself to get tested when I think I’m due, and I’d hope they would do the same.

When entering a new monogamous relationship, “let’s both get tested” is the proper course of action, but if my partner is familiar with safer sex practices and has been tested with some regularity in the past, and is reasonably aware of their transmission risks since the last test, I’m willing to peel back the latex earlier on, though that test still has to happen within the first month.

mrrich724's avatar

Typically (NOT ALWAYS) the STD’s you would likely contract from oral come with physical and visible “friends,” like warts, blisters, cuts, etc.

So a visual inspection has never failed me. I know it doesn’t sound like the safest way :(

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Let’s be serious: I wouldn’t use any condoms or dental damns for oral sex. And I know better.

Akua's avatar

I’m with @Simone_De_Beauvoir Yea it sounds good to say you use it but I have never used a condom or dental damn for oral. I’m either a real good judge of character or I’m luckier than a rabbits foot.

ETpro's avatar

If all of life were driven by avoiding STDs, I’d only have sex with blow-up love dolls. I know the risks, but I consider the rewards. Like @Simone_De_Beauvoir & @Akua, I;m really not interested in licking latex.

Besides, even when unmarried (which I am not) I look for long-term, fluid bonded relationships. So far, so good. No STDs.

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