Social Question

FluffyChicken's avatar

(nsfw) Singles; How do you talk to attractive members of your preferred sex?

Asked by FluffyChicken (5454 points ) February 21st, 2012

Do you get shy? I do. I can talk to just about anyone in a friendly way, but I don’t know how to proposition(for cuddles, a date, sex, whatever) attractive people. How do you do it? Are you successful? How do you avoid being awkward? what do you say or do to come to your desired results?

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13 Answers

wundayatta's avatar

I would tell myself that most people are shy, and most people are grateful if someone else breaks the ice. Also, they can’t read my mind so they don’t know if I’m thinking I just want to see if they come from my home town or if I’m just thinking ‘gawd you’re so hot I want to jump your bones!’

So I tell myself just to act ordinary and not show how anxious I am about this conversation. I know I can handle myself in an ordinary conversation. So if I pretend that’s what’s going on, maybe I won’t be too shy to say anything.

Also, don’t worry too much about awkwardness. We usually don’t come across as awkward as we feel. The people who are awkward seeming tend not to be aware of it. If we do act awkward, and are aware of it, we can make a little self-deprecating joke about it.

This is all advice based on my experience. I ended up married, so I guess you could say I was successful at the beginning part of relationships. I don’t have to do well at picking up people. Which makes it a lot easier to be cool about things. Nothing is at stake for me. If you pretend nothing is at stake for you, you can be cool, too.

Blackberry's avatar

Hi/Hello
How’s it going?/ My name is….
Some situational dependent line that tries to break the ice like “Did you see that drunk guy that fell….”

I may appear calm, but my heart will actually be beating at triple the speed.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

I try not to rustle anyone’s jimmies.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I have so much trouble talking to cute boys. I just can’t do it. So, if I have something in common with them, I talk about that. I don’t think of him as a cute boy, I think of him as a fellow Trekker or gamer or book worm, then I can talk to him. Ask him out, though? Shit, I wasn’t good at that when I was doing it on a regular basis. Now that I’m over three years out of practice, I can’t do it.

Coloma's avatar

I am an extremely extroverted type, I never feel awkward, it just flows. If I want to approach someone I just do it. I passed a note on a napkin to a guy in a restaurant awhile back, he was extremely flattered and we have become “friends.” It is so easy for me, I never give it a second thought, just go with the moment.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Same sex here.

I don’t do it. I’m guessing that I would suck at it and I don’t bother. And, I don’t even remember approaching anyone. Ever. The have to come to me. Even when I dated guys.

I am not overly introverted, nor overly extroverted, yet, when it comes to approaching someone that I’m interested in, I wait for them.

Coloma's avatar

Hesitation kills. Not only drivers but romances too. haha

ddude1116's avatar

I’m very much an introvert, and as a result, never initiate anything, which doesn’t particularly work out in my favor. However, in general conversation, I’m fine, calm and collected, I just only speak whenever it’s relevant to my interests. I would not recommend this strategy to anybody, though, it works for me because I’m just odd and disinterested most of the time.

auhsojsa's avatar

I’d smile and try to get them to smile.

creative1's avatar

I approach everyone the same and just stay Hi and then begins the conversation…. but my problem is that if they don’t make a move forward from there it will only remain as it is even if I am interested in them. I am just not good taking the next step for a date.

Blackberry's avatar

Yeah, that’s why many of us fail, there are too many ways for every word to be interpreted. Some people don’t want someone that’s too aggressive, and others don’t want too soft. It’s pretty lame in general and usually prevents me from hitting on anyone. It’s too much work.

ratboy's avatar

I ernestly address her shoes, mumble and stutter. What’s a vagina feel like?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I stumbled on this without even realizing it when I was single. Make eye contact a few times and then back off completely. Let the woman approach me on her own terms and she’s much more at ease. It just flows if she’s at ease.

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