(NSFW) What funny phrase(s) have you heard that you try to use?

First thanks to augustlan for a previous question that prompted this one.
Are there funny phrases you have heard from others that were so good you not only remembered but now sometimes appropriately use (and sometimes tell the story of where you got it?)

I’ll give my favorite examples.
From Texas (several people):
When eating something really spicy, I preface my comment by a quote from one friend by saying (in the right company) “That was so spicy it made me want to slap my grandma….”

When someone really takes to something fast, they are going at it ”...like a fat kid to cake!”

Heard a while back on Oprah, but I immediately understood the intensity; a relative was conveying the feelings for a person who had committed heinous acts on a family member: “I wouldn’t spit on xxx if xxx was on fire”.

The best came from Scotland. I worked with a delightful 50-ish Scottish lady back in the 1980’s. One day she was so frustrated at the incorrect way people were performing a task. She made the remark that “The next time I see them doing that, I’ll be coming in their ears!” . (Meaning she would lecture them sternly.) Well, the majority of ‘them’ were males, age 25–40.
Someone did explain how that could be construed differently. She laughed and blushed. The next time she walked through the work area, there was a gasp and the guys covered their ears. She was a good sport, for more than this everyone remembered her fondly!

I’d love to hear your experiences!