Do you wish people wanted to be your friend?

Only always.

Who wants enemies?

I could care less. If they want to be, they will be. And vice versa.

I’m not going pine away for inclusion or exclusion. I’m old enough that I don’t need the vibes of a coterie of admirers. My friends know who they are. And they know me.

Facebook friends, in particular, are severe aberration of the whole friendship thing. Their take on friendship seems to be “I knew this person once” as opposed to an active friendship that is nurtured every day. In that respect, what Google Plus did with Circles makes more sense.

But we’re all different, and Facebook plays different roles for each of us.

I have a handful of true friends and that’s all I need. My outer circle of friends is larger, but they don’t have 100% of my trust. One can always use good friends, but one does not always have a use for more friends.

This is going to sound really rude, but perhaps there’s a reason people like your virtual self more than your real self…

Yes, even though I know it’s silly.

@elbanditoroso Great answer. I feel exactly the same. Who cares.

This is so true. Facebook friends, in particular, are severe aberration of the whole friendship thing

I would be so pleased to have a modest-sized circle of genuine friends. I live a far too isolated life and have so much I would like to do for a sincere and genuine friend.

When I’m in the depressive side of my illness I feel like I have no friends- I’m actually in that kind of mood now. I would love to be closer to other people, and if I am online when I’m closest, I’ll be online. I don’t have to like it.

Definitely, although I also don’t really seek out friendship. Not to mention I’m also selective of my friends.

I usually like it when someone wants to be my friend. Unless I can tell they’re only trying to be my friend because they want to be more then a friend right away. So I tread carefully around that at first ‘cause I’m not interested in being more then friends with anyone right now. So as long as I feel someones intentions are good then I’m really happy they want to be friends with me.

But I have gotten really into trying to foster as many friendships of all shapes and sizes as I can since I decided to stop sitting around with nothing to do being depressed about not having friends in my town. I just wanted to become social. And being kinda shy and socially awkward at times it wasn’t the easiest thing. But I’ve gotten pretty good at it. Still getting shy in some situations but I reach out to people a lot better now. And I have a lot more friends because of it.

Mostly casual friends, which is my one problem at home making friends. All my closest most trusted really good friends live elsewhere. They live an hour away or ten hours away. And that’s kinda a bummer. But I make the effort to maintain friendships because I want those people in my life. And Facebook and such does helps with that between the times I get to visit those people.

Anyways, so yes. I like to make friends, I like to reach out to people, I like it when people reach out to me (online, in real life, whatever). Sometimes it becomes a really casual friendship, sometimes it becomes a really great friendship. Either way I’m happy to have people in my life I can try to leave a positive impact on and have other people leave a positive impact on me.

You simply can not have too many friends. The idea is to make as many as possible.

Absolutely! Well, if it’s someone I really like. it’s not that I’m unsure if they like me, but I want them to ask me to hang out. I usually feel (and am probably right) that most people have busier lives than me and with more friends so I’m like…eh, if they wanna add me to their repetoire, they will. lol. I know it’s silly to not just ask them to hang out but thats life.

It would depend why they want to be friends. If it’s because they’re interesting and they think I’m interesting, and we would have quality interactions, sure. However, if they want to be friends because they have 4,999 friends already and want to round up, or because they remember my name from high school and think we have “so much in common” even though we never talked then and we won’t talk now, or if it’s some other superficial crap like that, I’d rather they choose someone else. My time is valuable, I’d rather use it for worthwhile interactions.

Yes and no.

I have a small bunch of old friends who I generally like. Problem being is that everyone (me included) is oh-so-busy with family and work and life in general, we rarely see each other. As such, our actual (and rare) time together is mostly spent “catching up” and basking in nostalgia.

I’d give my eye teeth for one close friend I could communicate with regularly and share things with. With the exception of my wife, no one seems up for that.

I agree with @cprevite—I have many, many old friends and people that like me, but I don’t have someone I can call at 2 AM to cry to if I needed to, or someone whose sofa I could crash on if I needed to. I had a couple in college but life seems to a weird way of distancing us from people when we hit the working world.

There are certain people that I know as friends of friends that I’d love to be friends with, but haven’t had a chance to meet them. I’d be tickled pink if I learned the feelings were mutual. My FB friend list is only people I know to varying degrees—I lived in 7 states so I have over 500 “friends” but seriously, only 5 or 6 that would notice if I shut down my account. I think more people on Fluther noticed when I took a break!

@wundayatta, please don’t minimize the fact that you’re well-liked online. It might be online, but you still have an impact on people and your online persona is no less YOU and no less real than the guy walking around in your skin. The beauty of today’s technology is that people who might be shy in real life have a chance to share with others online and have often more real friends than IRL. FB vs. Fluther is a very, very good analogy for what I’m saying.

I’m always happy to find somebody would like to become friends with me, but I’m more than satisfied with the small circle of friends I’ve got, and would do anything for them, and with that being said, I’m also very much an introvert. During most situations throughout the day, I’d prefer to be unnoticed, although I’m capable of dealing with it and usually proud of myself for doing so.

There’s only one person I wish would be my friend, but I already fucked that one up pretty bad, so it’s not gonna happen.

@wundayatta “I have few Facebook friends and people almost never ask me to be friends, so it makes me feel pretty much like a nobody as far as people in the real world are concerned.”

Facebook is pretty much meaningless. It seems like everyone has hundreds of facebook friends, but nobody really has that many friends in real life. It’s really just a convenient way of keeping track of acquaintances.

I’m extremely introverted IRL, too, but I do have a few close friendships. (Actually, I’m pretty socially inept online, though.) Nobody will ever ask to be your friend; it’s a gradual give-and-take where an acquaintance grows into something closer over time. Online, you get that acknowledgment of friendship where someone adds you or follows you, but there’s no mechanism for that in real life. And unless you do some work to keep the friendships going, people may drop off the radar. So if you meet someone new and have common ground, they may like you want to get to know you better, but they might be busy or have other things on their mind. So you might have to be the one to get the friendship going, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Just because people aren’t beating down your door, doesn’t mean they don’t like you and want to know more about you.

But it does feel pretty awesome when someone else makes those gestures of friendship. Why not spread that awesome feeling around?

@Haleth It is a great feeling.

@Haleth Completely agree with you. Friendships take work, and you have to being willing to reach out to people to make them happen. Its great when other people really make that push to be friends, but I think its equally awesome to be that person who says “Hey I want to know you, let’s grab coffee!”

If you’re proactive about creating friendships it seems other people have an easier time coming out and saying hey I wanna be friends with you. But when you seem shut off to new relationships, people can usually tell and its a lot harder to reach out to people when they seem completely uninterested in letting someone new in.

Absolutley not, true friends will “find” each other without any effort at all.
As for this place, i’ve never “followed” anyone other than in response to their initial request.

I want people to like me and feel bothered if they don’t show signs of liking me. I pretend I don’t care though.

Been a loner my whole life, so friendship is not something I think about.

There are people that like me and others that don’t. There may be one or two people who consider me a friend, but I don’t necessarily see them as mine. I don’t dislike them or anything, but I define friendship as enjoying the company of others…which I usually don’t.

(I tend to tolerate the company of others…on a limited basis.)

I guess, for me, it’s just so much simpler being a loner.

One other thing…“thrill” is not how I’d describe myself feeling upon learning that someone wants to be my friend. “Apprehension” is more like it. I immediately become worried that this person wants to be entertained or hold conversations and stuff. I don’t “go out” and the closest I come to conversation is answering Fluther questions.

(God…what a miserable excuse for a human being I am…!)