The young lady in question probably already has a good idea that you like her. You told her sister, and even though that sister said she wouldn’t tell, it’s 99% sure that she did tell her. Sisters rarely keep secrets from their sisters.
You may think that you are in love with this young lady, but I think you are just experiencing very intense infatuation. You barely know her, and you really need to know people to truly love them. She may be fantastic and you may grow to love her, if you get together, but don’t let yourself become obsessed and never think that another person can complete you. You have to be a complete person, yourself, to be a good partner for another person. Otherwise, you both just become co-dependent and that’s not love, it’s destructive.
You said When I’m around her I feel like I can be myself and relax and just be who I really am with no worries and no problems. That’s not exactly true, because you haven’t been able to get up the nerve to even talk to her. You can’t have a real relationship, friendly or boyfriend/girlfriend if you don’t feel comfortable talking to her as a person (not just as an idol of worship). When and if you do get to know her, you’ll find out that she’s a real human being with fears and quirks and likes and dislikes. In some ways she’ll be similar to you and in some ways she’ll be different. The more you get to know her, either you’ll really like her a lot, or you’ll find out that she’s more boring than you thought she was. Right now, you have no way of knowing. It’s kind of like you are on the other side of a thick piece of glass, just watching her (and making bold assumptions about what she’s really like) but never actually interacting with her on a down to earth level or getting to know her for real. She’s just an image right now.
If you want to get to know her, and possibly become her boyfriend, then you have to make a move, but don’t do anything drastic or dramatic, that could blow up in your face.
Do you go to the same school? I’m a little confused as to why there are long periods of time when you don’t see her. Are you friendly with the sister?
You’ve got a few options:
1) You can ask the sister to ask her sister if she likes you and to report back to you. If the answer is yes, either call the young lady, text her or walk right up to her and ask her if she’d like to have lunch with you, or go to the movies or go to Starbucks or join in a trip to the beach with a group of friends. Be very calm and collected and don’t startle her by blurting out that you love her. If the sister reports back that she likes you as a friend, then I would probably consider myself done.
2) You can call/text or walk right up to this young lady and not ask her how she feels about you (yet) but just ask her to do one of the activities mentioned in example 1. She’ll either say yes, or no, or give you an excuse. If you get an excuse, then just say, “Maybe some other time.” Don’t hound her, but if she doesn’t show some interest in hanging out some other time after about 2 weeks, it probably means she’s not interested. If she says yes, try to have a specific time and activity in mind, or just say you’ll call her tonight or tomorrow to pick the time and activity.
3) You could get a cute (not romantic) card and mail it to her or put it in her locker, that says something like, “Hey Rachel, I’ve been thinking of you a lot lately, would you like to get some Starbucks sometime? Here’s my phone number/e-mail” Then give it a week. If you don’t hear back from her, she’s not interested.
This young lady may be interested in you, but most young girls are very shy when it comes to expressing this to a guy, first. So unless you make a move first, it’s unlikely that she will ever make a move. On the other hand, she may like you very much, but not consider you to be boyfriend material. If that’s the case, you will be relegated to the “friend zone” and unless you can get over her quickly, that position is going to suck. The other scenario, is that she may have never considered it one way or the other and she might be willing to give it a try, or she may not. Another awful scenario is that she likes someone else.
So you need to make a move, but be prepared for different scenarios. If she turns you down, try to be very respectful and civil, if she’s interested try to remain calm and respectful and go very slow (but then talk and talk and talk and get to know her, but make her feel comfortable). And try to learn now, while you’re still young, that love does not mean that you place people on pedestals or elevate them into perfect specimens of humanity in your own mind. She’s just a person. Other people don’t complete you (although they can often complement you). Other people don’t make you happy and deserving of love. Everybody deserves love, but you don’t always get it from where you expect it to come from. You have to make yourself happy, regardless of whether you have a mate. And it’s easier to attract a mate when you are already happy and confident and comfortable in your own skin.
I wish you the best of luck! Please check in again and let us know how it goes : )
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