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JLeslie's avatar

Do you seek advice from someone who is similar to you, or someone who is where you want to be?

Asked by JLeslie (48217 points ) March 16th, 2012

If you listen to people from both examples, which advice have you been more likely to follow if you think back in your life and decisions you have made?

I think this applies to any and all things in life. Careers, raising children, relationships. I think maybe we are inclined to listen to the people who we identify most with, but probably it is best to take advice from the people who have acheived what we seek.

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10 Answers

Akua's avatar

I am more likely to seek and take advice from someone who as already been in my situation and has mastered it (or at least overcome the basics). If someone is just like me then they are just as clueless as me.

Blackberry's avatar

The older person (or person that’s where I want to be). In a perfect world, we would actually listen to the advice of wiser people, but it still helps to hear it.

john65pennington's avatar

Yes and no. I seek advice from people that are mostly younger than myself. This way, I can make decisions based on the trends of today, rather than trends of yesterday.

I do this quite often with my friends on Fluther.

This is why we are friends. jp

Esedess's avatar

Both… and someone who is different.

CaptainHarley's avatar

I seldom seek advice of any sort from anyone, although I do attend quite closely to conversations and get different viewpoints from them.

gailcalled's avatar

I tend to have as my close friends and relatives those who are similar to me in a belief system, life style and views of the world in general. I turn to them (five on a good day) for counsel and succor.

On fluther, for example, I am often interested and sometimes fascinated by the choices and paths many of you have taken, but I know whom I would turn to for advice; there are only five of them also.

BosM's avatar

When the experiences of life transform into insight, wisdom results and therefore I seek advice from those who are wise about a topic. If It’s a crisis of conscience, I seek guidance from those who share my values. Not a a one size that fits all approach, which keeps life interesting. :)

Bellatrix's avatar

Both. Emotional things, usually people who I connect with and feel are similar.

Work, I will seek advice from people who have been where I want to go and/or have much more experience generally. I have a couple of great mentors.

Jeruba's avatar

Neither. I seek advice from someone who is good at helping me think things through. That usually means my husband.

I don’t want someone to tell me what to do. I want someone who can help me see clearly the factors I have to weigh in making my own decision and put aside the distracting irrelevancies. And that’s what I try to do when asked for advice. I also pay attention to signs that the person has really already decided, even if not aware of it yet, and then just reflect back what I hear.

Paradox25's avatar

Well there aren’t too many people like me so I guess I can eliminate that one. Usually I try to seek advice from people who are more experienced at doing something that I need or want to learn. However if I have a choice of people relating to my previous example then yes I try to get advice from those whom I’d likely ‘click’ with, or should I say is somewhat similar to me.

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