What can be expected after finding out you have a malignant tumor in your breast?

My mother has it, at about the same age. She had a lumpectomy, in which they also took some underarm lymph nodes. Is was not a long stay in hospital. Then she had radiation treatment. She did not have chemotherapy. She did well and was ok. Her next visit will be with an oncologist and you should go with her. They will outline the plan of action and you will feel alot better. I was told (don’t know if it’s true) that post-menopausal breast cancer is alot less aggressive and much slower mestastisis than younger women but don’t know…

Science.

When it happened to me, I had what they called out-patient treatment. I went in the hospital early in the day and was given a tranquilizer. I rested all morning and after lunch they gave me something that put me out for a few hours. During that time, they used a procedure very similar to liposuction, and vacuumed out some tissue. I went home in the late afternoon and never felt sick or anything else. That was the end of it.

My mom had it, she was diagnosed two years ago around this time. She was 68 at that time. She got the biopsy results, and they also wrote a comprehensive report on the kind of cancer (I did not know this at the time, but there are different types of breast cancers, ones that come from genes, ones that are non-genetic, ones that are fed by estrogen, etc. ; different types of tumors, i.e. ones that are in one lump, ones that are in a broken up lump, etc.) and the report talked about exactly where the tumor was, type of cancer, etc.

First she had a lumpectomy. Then she got chemo and radiation.

She researched very carefully what doctors were good, and she went and interviewed with 3 different doctors at 3 different hospitals to find one that she liked and whose treatment plan she liked.

Then she had chemo, which was every other week, once a week, for like 8 sessions so that was 16 weeks. The chemo made her progressively tired, so in other words, toward the end she was more tired than she was the first few sessions. In the hospital where she had the chemo, they would also give her intravenous anti-nausea drugs, which made her tired also, but they helped her not feel nauseous for the next few days, which is how long the immediate effects of each chemo session lasted for. During the chemo, she still did her normal activities, i.e. babysitting my daughter, walking the dog, cooking, etc., but she was supposed to stay out of the sun, so she did not go to the pool much (this was during the summer). Then the chemo ended around Thanksgiving of that year, and she had a little break over the holidays. Then she had radiation, and she had a little burn mark where the radiation was. Radiation was, I think, once a week for I don’t remember how many weeks. 8 weeks, maybe? They make a custom mold of your body, so the radiation is pinpointed to the exact spot where the radiation needs to go. They put a patch where the radiation was, because the site got a little burned, like a sunburn.

Then a few months later she went back and got blood tests and was found to be cancer free. She goes for mammogram every six months now, and has to be on some medication, something like Ameprozole or something like that, for 5 years. That will help keep the cancer from coming back. That medication has a bunch of potential side effects, but she’s doing ok.

Statistics show that the majority of women beat breast cancer, so I am hoping that your mom has the best success with her treatment plan. Cancer is really an ordeal that the whole familiy goes through. When I talk to people now, it’s amazing how many people have had breast cancer and they all walk among us, so it is beatable!

I think it would help if you researched the doctors with her, went with her to interview them and see the hospitals. It would help if she actually likes them, because if she’s going to be seeing them every few weeks, it’s best they have personalities that go well together, in addition to their educations, affiliations, experience, etc.

@jonsblond

Most hospitals are very gentle with this sort of problem. I will pray for her.

I admire you greatly for wanting to help your mother through this. Don’t give up hope… ever! : )

Not having been through it, but having been through other cancers with family members, I can say that the process may vary from individual to individual, doctor to doctor, hospital to hospital – and also may vary depending on recent innovations in treatments.

Here’s what I would suggest though:

Have the same family member accompany her to EVERY appointment.

That family member should take copious notes. If they miss something or don’t understand, have it repeated or explained, but GET IT ALL DOWN IN WRITING. Take a blank notebook, just for this purpose. Include the names of every person who is a part of the treatment plan, even if it looks at the time like they only play a small role. You never know who you may want to go back to with questions. And there may be people you will want to go back and thank.

That person should not be afraid to ask questions, but not in a challenging or confrontational way. It’s never rude to ask if there are alternative treatments, or let someone know you plan to seek a second or third opinion. But your mother should take the lead in this. It’s her body, her treatment, her choices. The person with the notebook should be acting as stenographer – not “the boss.” The only time a family member should speak up for the person being treated is if that person has asked them to.

I hope that all goes well for your mom. When you say fragile, I don’t know if you mean physically or mentally, but either way it’s great that you have her back. She’s lucky.

If you’re lucky, you’ll have an experience like I did at her age. They found a tumor very early. I had a lumpectomy, followed by radiation. They couldn’t give me chemo because of other medications I take. There have been no problems since. Stay upbeat if you can. It helps.

A good source of information is the National Institutes of Health. I found the site very helpful in things like, what to expect, what questions I must ask, and so on. It gives details of symptoms, treatments, options, etc. While treatments have greatly improved in the last 15 years, they have side effects and your mother will need support. Try to remember that the more unpleasant symptoms – fluid retention, heartburn, nausea, etc. etc. their name is Legion – are reactions only to the treatments, as breast cancer is quite painless in its early stages. Lastly, the treatments, however uncomfortable, are designed to allow the patient to have as normal a life as possible. There are medications for the side effects and they often work. I myself work a 40 hour week (I have Stage III breast cancer) and so far have been able to avoid long absences. So if your mother has an occupation, job or hobby, she should be encouraged to keep up with it without tiring herself too much.

I won’t repeat the good advice and tips above.

However, I was diagnosed with malignant estrogen-positive micro-calcifications almost 16 years ago, which was stage I. Two of my nodes were stage II.

I had two lumpectomies, some chemo, a series of radiation treatments and 5 years of tamoxifen.

I went bald and had burned skin on my breast but on balance, it was doable and better than the alternative.

@jonsblond: @gailcalled‘s post reminds me of another thing re: my mom. She lost her hair about 20 days into chemo, right exactly when they said she would. She got some wigs, paid for by the insurance company, and she had a cotton cap she wore around the house instead of the wig. She said wigs were hot and scratchy, and it was summertime, as I said before. I think when she first lost her hair she was depressed and self conscious, but we all encouraged her and were just so happy to have her around and with us and tried to make light of it. Her hair started growing back right after chemo, and now it’s regular hair. I posted this because although losing one’s hair is definitely a small price to pay for cancer survival, it’s something that can be very upsetting to women, since our hair often plays a big part in our appearance. I also added this because I am trying to give you as thorough as possible the details of one person’s experience (my mother).

I think cancer treatment now is way different than it was during the Gilda Radner era, when chemo was very tough physically. Now there are so many drugs to counteract the chemo effects that I think it makes it more do-able than it was in the past.

I too lost my hair exactly as predicted, but I skipped the wigs. The cotton scarves and two velvet berets with a rosette on each of them did me just fine.

My hair grew back curlier, which I loved, but after two years reverted to its wild and flyaway old self. There were also wonderful anti-nausea drugs, (a little purple pill by month) which made a huge difference.

I went into the experience with a “screw-you” attitude which I think helped, but I was born with that attitude.

Honey, just wanted to let you know that I’m here thinking about you and your Mom. Take the advice the others gave, and do some more research on your own. You never know how things are going to go.

My best to you and your Mom. All I know is that they have some very aggressive/progressive treatments nowadays. Get a second and third opinion if you need it. Be proactive and positive. Find out as much as you can. And be sweet and funny and gentle. Mom’s gonna need it.

Give your Mom the best wishes of all of the Fluther members. Tell her to walk tall and to wear a purple hat (or a red beret and a handful of glued on fake flowers if that’s what she likes). We are all here thinking about you and your Mom and sending her the best vibes we got, Lionel Hampton vibes, if you will.

Just be as kind as you normally are, as funny as you can be, and as normal as the day is long. Your Mom wouldn’t want you to be anything weird or out of the normal, just be yourself and be as accessible as possible.

If there is anything we can help you with, please be sure to let us know. We’re here for you ad your Mom and your whole family.

Everybody, grasp hands and hold on tight! We’re all in this together.

@all Thank you so much for your support and for sharing your personal stories with me. You have been very helpful and I am so glad I asked this question. My mom has had problems with doctors in the past (she’s walked out on a few because she didn’t like to be told that she needs to quit drinking and smoking), so I’m hoping she can find someone she can trust and feel comfortable with. My dad and I are doing our part to stay positive because my mom has a very difficult time staying positive herself. I think she thrives on chaos. She’s always worried about something.

@GoldieAV16 My mom has been dealing with depression for many years. Just a few weeks ago she threatened to kill herself (she’s done this many times in the past). She posted “goodbye” on Facebook and told one of my sisters that she was going to take a bunch of pills. We’ve offered to take her to talk with a professional but she won’t go. :/

Thanks again to all of you! Your advice and support brought a tear to my eye. good tears =)

@jonsblond
I just read about this research.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/03/120326160817.htm
My sister in law is a Breast Cancer Survivor. She had a Lumpetoy and Chemotherapy. Find a support group.
God bless you and your mother.